Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!

[jellypi3]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 39 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2306410-Dont-let-your-clits-get-twitchy-and-do-anything-to-avoid-a-boil-in-the-bag-fanny-BFP-wholesale-van-rolling-in-to-deliver-to-all-the-viroids-no-superstition-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-39" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2309233-Well-crap-in-a-Jiffy-bag-Its-the-22nd-JS-Grads-thread" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Ha ha ha Lemon; you are a wrong un!!!

To be fair the only time I have been turned away for a shag was when DP was asleep and I tried getting on him. He was too startled lol

Yeah where have you been all day lil??

I've had another long teacher day today... exhausted. there is always something. ppa tomorrow afternoon though.

How long after starting the metformin do you reckon I should start getting af again? I was kinda hoping she would have shown her ugly face by now... but then I've only been on it three months... but it feels like forever.

Sorry about the crappy day Ain

I'm feeling a bit Miss Havisham today. We did indeed have a shag but I've totally lost any hope that there is any point shagging at all. I mean, there isn't when you're 5dpo, but I mean in the future.

Jelly hope AF stays away.

I'm here! up at 5.30 yesterday and today and tomorrow to drive to my mums to get NY lil bros sorted for school while she's away. step dad leaves for work at 6am so I get nominated to do it. older bro has 2kids and lives further away so always escapes it. I hate being the only daughter!

ain what dose are you on? is it worth going back and seeing if they can increase it? or if they can also give you clomid to induce ovulation?

Thanks all for the welcome messages.

pud yes - I can't wait. I can live with the diarrhoea and eye bogeys. Was looking after parents furbabies once when one suddenly got a stomach bug. Treading barefoot in warm puppy diarrhoea in the middle of the night has prepared me for anything a dog can throw at me!

lemon I'm diabetic, which increases the risk of everything ever, including m/c. So mostly that gets blamed. But also hubby's balls did not drop and had to be surgically forced out of their hiding place when he was a kid... this may mean his sperm is damaged. We haven't had sperm analysis to find out, because I threw my toys out of the pram and decided that we'd had enough meddling.

So now we're just shagging the next year away, and if by early next year nothing is doing, then we're going to look into adopting.

Welcome mrs

I got my early morning shag and peak on CBFM wahooooooo just need to coax him into another one tomorrow! Any tips viroids??

Welcome mrs!

Yay cat! Lunch time stealth shag?

Mrs - purple and zyla are both diabetic on these threads so you're in fine company

Morning all. I'm sure AF is on her way. No cramps or anything but I have the feeling she's sliding down the fanjo slide. I've padded up in preparation (and will go buy some tampons today to try....) but I'm feeling a bit blue over it. I know I'm not out till she comes but this is how I felt last month before she showed up.

I think I will try either Soy or B6 complex next month. I just want to see if they make a difference at all to my LP.

I'm also knackered because the second night in a row I've woken up at 3:30 for a pee and it's broken my sleep. Not temping till the witch arrives though following your advice lil

honey just saw your post. There is a point in shagging. You are so young still. You will get your baby!

Awww Honey there is always point in a shag! I know it doesn't feel like it, but we will get there.

BlackCat lingerie? Glittery cape? Or just answer the door naked? Or, the Bend and Snap!!!

Ain I'm sorry I don't know the answer about the Metformin, I've never had it. I would hope soon though!

Marsh Just shagging is the best way. I'm finding it's easier said than done, but an important mantra to live by if you don't want TTC to get in the way of your enjoyment of life.

I am finding it so hard to not POAS today! I have now managed to convince myself that I'm not pregnant at all and that the ovary pain is really just a weird internal pulled muscle, as my boos are only a tiny bit sore and I don't feel sick or have a superhuman sense of smell. It's so hard not being out until AF arrives...why can't your body give off a sign the moment implantation occurs, like your eyes changing to purple or your farts smelling of horlicks or something? Gah!

lol horlicks farts lemon remember you probably won't get many pregnancy symptoms until a few weeks after implantation, so don't think you are out just yet. My boobs are agony at the moment but I am sure AF is here.

I have that feeling she's coming down my fanjo IYKWIM

Jelly I know that feeling well, I still have all my fingers and toes crossed for you though!

I was thinking about the Horclicks farts thing and thinking that probably wasn't definitive enough we'd all be getting together going 'smell my fart, smell my fart, do you think I'm upduffed yet and obsessing just the same

lemon

jelly soy will reduce FP but won't impact on lp, b vits won't bring on ov any quicker but may lengthen lp. regardless for and lp are completely independent - earlier ov won't increase lp. def get the fanjo plugs to try. soooo much better, you'll never go back. I still used pads at night when I first changed but now I use tampons at night too.

I think I'm going to go all jser like on you all and be a bit more laid back for the next few months until we have our follow up appointment and have moved house. I just want sex for wanting sex's sake. I'm fed up of living my life for baby making! haven't dine any opks yet and its cd13

blimey cd13 already lil. I have ditched the monitor and won't use it next cycle, and won't use OPK's next cycle. I am going to temp because my LP is a concern for me. I think I'll try the b6 complex instead of the soy, my ov went from cd18 to 16 this month, so it's early enough. I just need a longer LP (7-8 days is ridiculous). I'll do my research on them today!

lemon gx for you. I'm not crampy but i'm deffo grumpy so I reckon she's coming. I keep popping to the toilet to check. I hate this time of the month worse than AF!

I'm so bloated today. It's really uncomfortable. You viroids got any tips to get it to ease a bit?

hey guys, not been on in ages!
I need a right fucking rant about OH before I headbutt him.

basically, I was severely depressed when we got together, he has helped me so bloody much and I'll never, ever be able to repay him. I love him so bloody much it hurts.
I don't have many friends irl, just the one actually and last night she asked me to go to a quiz night. I was out for 3 hours and OH had to work (nightshift). He's been in a right bloody mood since I went so I wrote him a note asking what was wrong.. I got this: "I was annoyed because it must be nice to go out. I don't mind if you want to, but you pretty much just came in, said you were off and left me on my own. You said you wouldn't be long but you were gone all night, and you're not supposed to go out yet. It's like you were happy to get away from me. I don't feel like you have fun with me or that you want to. You seem to prefer other people's company. All we seem to do together is go shopping, but when you're invited out you go and don't seem to ask if I want to come. I've helped you through a lot, but now it feels like you're starting to need me less and less and like I'm gonna get left behind. You're making something of yourself and I'm stuck in a job I hate, which I have to do for us."
was I unreasonable for going out? I didn't even have a drink, because I'm still recovering from my tonsillectomy. We've lived together for 2 years, I've gone out with a friend no more than 5 times.

definitely not trying this month. I'm not brining a child in to a relationship where I'm expected to stay at home to his beck and call every fucking day.

really sorry for the overly long post and the rant, vroids! I really needed it!

Howdy viroids. Just checking in. Still have a mother of a headache so lacking wit and sparkle. May those shagging tonight be lucky enough to orgasm simultaneously! (Speaking of wellwishing, what is it with a this "babydust" crap people keep going on about? All it makes me think about is dandruff floating around on the pillow after DTD. And who the feck wants that?)

Blimey Rach that doesn't sound fun :( I'm no expert because I have only had 2 relationships in my life, but my first "boyfriend" used to treat me like that. It's basically emotional blackmail.

Only you cmake the choice but I would say he was being massively out of order to make you feel bad about going out.

Geez Rach I've been out with friends probably 5 times in the last month, DH doesn't mind at all but he self admits he's a bit of a loner and likes his own company we both do our own thing at times and other stuff together. We've been on holiday separately with friends but also go together too. We basically do what we want. It's work for us, together 14 years now although I do want to kill him when he acts like a complete knob

Went for my follow up scan today. It's far from over. I need a rant. The jist is I can't even fucking miscarry properly and NHS miscarriage care is appalling.

The sonographers were whispering it wasn't back to normal. I asked them what was going on and they wouldn't tell me.

I had to wait an hour for my consultation.

My consultant thought I was back because I'd MC two weeks ago and was concerned I was bleeding. No, I MC 10 days ago and was back at their request today, I assume the bleeding is normal.

There is still some tissue. I have to go back for another scan in two weeks time to see where we are at. If it is still there, they will be thinking of surgery. Off you go home, see you in a couple of weeks.

They are not coming near me.

I have been on the phone to the miscarriage association who were wonderful and answered all the questions I needed to ask.

I cannot believe there's no set information to send you away with because I imagine lots of women have the same questions.

I cannot believe they don't make sure to lecture you on not having sex. (I'm not going to, because I do know it's not a good idea but they should be telling people that).

They don't mention anything about the emotional stuff. I was just about to call the Samaritans before I remembered the MA helpline. I can't tell you how low I was feeling when I came out of that consultation. It's irresponsible. I have lined up counselling tomorrow (I already have private counselling).

Going to try and calm down and consider my options for referrals elsewhere.

I'm upset and livid.

Yeah you need you time and he should need his own time.
My DP and I live and work together. We often get the comment "How can you live and work together, I could never work with my wife/husband/DP". But for us it works because we have our own time away from each other. It's not often, but maybe at the weekend I will go see a mate or he will go on his pc games while I am out. Or he will see his mates and I'll go visit family. It's maybe 4/5 times a month but it's important for us to have that time. I would never begrudge him spending time away from me and vice versa. It's really important for us becuase otherwise we would spend 100% of our time together.

I hope your DP manages to see your PoV and that you need you time.

woa! i know i'm a bit of a lurker, but i go away for a few days and it's now JS 40?! I cant keep up!

5hell
33
None
Jan 15
um...trying not to pay too much attention, but a few days pre-witch

thought the witch was coming early, as had a spot or two yesterday, but no more action...odd