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Conception

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Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)

999 replies

DulcetMoans · 11/02/2015 21:30

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 38 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2292480-Jazz-up-your-ROC-Invoke-a-Wankban-Shake-your-Beaver-and-Find-Cupboard-Love-with-the-Just-Shagging-Viroids-Dont-forget-to-Cup-and-Run-its-JS-38?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2299801-JSing-Grads-turn-21-Weve-got-the-Key-to-the-door-cosy-wombles-and-a-drawer-of-dirty-spoons?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
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24
DropYourSword · 12/02/2015 07:55

Aw toast, I've been doing that and I don't even have pregnancy hormones as an excuse! Congratulations!

LaLaLaaaa · 12/02/2015 07:58

Perfectly normal toast, don't fight it! Grin

honeysucklejasmine · 12/02/2015 08:27

Morning ladies. Ain, you can do it! Almost half term. Wine

Pud that's a high honour! Ski trip! I'd be less concerned about effect on bean and more concerned about travelling to the Alps with a bunch of teenagers. Are they flying or taking the dreaded coach?

gaggiagirl · 12/02/2015 09:01

Name: Gaggia
Age: 32
TTC: July 2014
DD: A nearly 4yo DD! Currently 6 weeks upduffed with a pomegranate seed.

jellypi3 · 12/02/2015 10:25

Morning viroids! Work is busy today so can't stay to chat long!

Hi to newbies and stay upduffed grads (we will be a bit quiet without you, plus it means i'm not a senior undergrad)

Stoatystoat · 12/02/2015 11:40

I've called in sick today. Head telling me not pregnant, body feeling nauseous and my head is pounding.

jellypi3 · 12/02/2015 12:15

It's probably good you are at home. stoat. I'm still keeping gx for a positive outcome x

Stoatystoat · 12/02/2015 12:30

Thank you jelli, it's good someone has hope. I've just managed a shower and am dressed. Yoga pants and a hoodie but it's not pyjamas I spose

batfish · 12/02/2015 12:44

Ooh pud skiing is a lucky omen - 2yrs ago my friend had surprise pregnancy right before our ski trip then last year we went again and one of the girls found out she was pregnant a few days before and then I got my BFP a day before our ski hol last week!

batfish · 12/02/2015 12:45

Hang in there stoat Flowers

mountaingirl01 · 12/02/2015 12:54

Name: mountain aka patiently
Age: 27
TTC: since July 2013 mmc July 2014 mc November 2014
Currently incubating a gummy bear! Plus proud coinhabiter of a beautiful but viscous Bengal

Free ski holiday?! I'll go! I skiied at 6-7 weeks no problems, bean is tucked away in your pelvis. Just keep hydrated and don't let any of those pesky kids ski into you! Only problem I found was that altitude brought on ms which I didn't previously have.

Jelly, proud of you! I know you'll be next

Tink what the actual fu k?! Can't anyone make up their mind, give you drugs and just get you upduffed!!

mountaingirl01 · 12/02/2015 12:55

And stoat Flowers still thinking of you. Pm if you want to talk

jellypi3 · 12/02/2015 13:32

Does anyone ever day dream about getting their BFP? I've been doing it a lot recently deffo not obsessing, daydreaming about telling DP, about telling my family, about scans etc. It's pretty bloody sad lol! I guess that's what a boring day in the office will do! (Today is in fact incredibly busy but I am procrastinating out of protest)

5hell · 12/02/2015 14:09

name: 5hell
age: 30+
DCs: 0
ttc: jan 2015

thanks for the welcome back on 38...was too scared to reply incase I inadvertantly filled the fred!! (now realise 1000=full, so i probably could have risked it)

hubby back from work trip tomorrow - very much looking fwd to much JSing. was tres lucky that his trip coincided with AF :)

bon chance all!

5hell · 12/02/2015 14:12

jelli - havn't dreamed/daydreamed that yet (early days) but do often find myself looking fondly (probably creepily in reality!) at other peoples dcs!

Poochieblue · 12/02/2015 14:16

i do that jelly all the time, one of my main weaknesses is over thinking including day dreaming all kinds of scenarios in my head! especially when i'm tired, in fact it's one of the reasons i struggle with my sleep!

jellypi3 · 12/02/2015 14:21

I did it whilst driving home yesterday, I was knackered and in my head I was imagining dealing with a BFP, and I swear when I got out the car it took a second for me to realise my day dreams weren't real.

What the actual fuck lol! I need to stop thinking about it!

jellypi3 · 12/02/2015 15:31

Oo the witch is finally gone (Cd5, about blooming time!).

Cape shall be donned tonight!

Stoatystoat · 12/02/2015 15:32

I dreamed I was in an altercation with Louise from Made in Chelsea last night. I must still be pregnant I'm having the weird dreams. Feel rough as fuck today.

Poochieblue · 12/02/2015 15:32

totally know what you mean!! DH said something about is being low on vodka and for a split second I was convinced that I didn't care for the next 9 months!!
that reminds me, FF has changed my test day so won't be testing till Sunday under the "absolutely no early testing" rules and regulations of being a JSer. spent the last week and a half counting down to tomorrow though so this is going to be difficult!

gaggiagirl · 12/02/2015 15:39

poochie test tomorrow!

jellypi3 · 12/02/2015 15:59

why sunday pooch?

i vote tomorrow in a very un-js'er fashion

Poochieblue · 12/02/2015 16:23

tomorrow I will only be 11dpo and not the 13 I thought I'd be (lp is usually 11 or 12 days) but ok I have plenty of ic's so I might do as commanded :-) lol xx

honeysucklejasmine · 12/02/2015 16:23

I had a dream last night that peoples houses had their names on signs outside. Except is was MN nics, and i remember driving past Lemon's house and thinking "amazing they let you have a sign with 'cunt' on it in a nice area!" weird!

honeysucklejasmine · 12/02/2015 16:24

Pooch, test tomorrow lovely.