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Conception

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Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)

999 replies

DulcetMoans · 11/02/2015 21:30

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 38 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2292480-Jazz-up-your-ROC-Invoke-a-Wankban-Shake-your-Beaver-and-Find-Cupboard-Love-with-the-Just-Shagging-Viroids-Dont-forget-to-Cup-and-Run-its-JS-38?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2299801-JSing-Grads-turn-21-Weve-got-the-Key-to-the-door-cosy-wombles-and-a-drawer-of-dirty-spoons?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
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24
Poochieblue · 13/02/2015 16:53

oh nooooo I think I jinxed myself! I'm now sporting, which is usual for 2 days before the witch arrives! ahh welllllll :-( x

Lemondrizzletwunt · 13/02/2015 17:13

Hello all. I need a slap.

I am CD8 so have basically just had a period, but for the last few nights I have been having very weird interrupted sleep because all of a sudden I'm too hot (am usually comatose, the windows are open and it's Feb), have increased CM, need to wee a lot, am spotty as fuck (sporn hopeful) and today am bloated and feel sick. These are all symptoms of the upduffed! What is wrong with me?

jellypi3 · 13/02/2015 17:16

oh no pooch that's shit!

lemon i could have written your bloody post. Except i'm on CD6. AF has just finished for me, but i'm so fucking spotty deffo not the sweets i scoffed crampy, again not the sweets and bloated! What the actual fuck!!

I'm off for the weekend and have packed my CBFM, my thermometer and some cheap OPK's lol! How sad am i!

Jcandy · 13/02/2015 17:17

How did the day go for you stoat? Was speaking to your manager ok?

Oh no pooch! You're not out till its full flow though.....

It's Friday! Grin so do any of us have any lovely plans for this weekend?

jellypi3 · 13/02/2015 17:23

I'm off to Oxford JC :D getting the train now!!!

jellypi3 · 13/02/2015 18:30

Hmm just got an almost pos OPK??

Toast85 · 13/02/2015 18:34

I'm on my way to a wedding party. I've had 2 naps today and plan on at least one more in the car before we get there!
Then I'm going to bake a cake tomorrow and eat most of it

Lemondrizzletwunt · 13/02/2015 18:44

Jelly, did you POAS on the train?? Grin

jellypi3 · 13/02/2015 18:58

Haha no but I did POAS in work Wink

Jcandy · 13/02/2015 19:00

Yeah I was thinking it must be a quick train journey or you peed on the train!

Both sound like good weekends Smile

I really don't have any plans which is also nice Smile hoping for good weather so me and DP can go for a nice walk

kezaroo · 13/02/2015 19:12

Jeez! Page 6 already you natterboxes!!

Kez
27
Zero dc
Currently in cycle 6, AF due on Monday

gag either my memory is going or I missed your BFP! Congratulations! Not been in here much lately due to work, so I have probably missed loads (including 5.5pages of a new Fred!)

Congrats to any other BFPs I have missed and boo! To the AFs that have arrived.

Gx'd mine doesn't arrive, got a FR upstairs which will be used on Tursday if the witch hasn't turned up by then although I've given up hope, she probably will

kezaroo · 13/02/2015 19:13

Tursday?! Tuesday ...

Turned Irish for a second there!

Hobbit19 · 13/02/2015 19:16

How did it go today Stoat? Hugs xx

lildottie · 13/02/2015 19:42

my black cat sore nips was normal for me most cycles after icing. I had it with the ivf after egg collection too (before the transfer) its caused by progesterone.

jelly seems the cbfm was right then!

stoat I hope it went ok with your boss Thanks

honeysucklejasmine · 13/02/2015 19:52

Blimey Jelly! You're just trying to get ahead of me! I won't ice until CD13 usually. Smile

gaggiagirl · 13/02/2015 20:03

Thanks kez! Nice to see you back.

Thinking of you stoat

Stoatystoat · 13/02/2015 20:07

poochie gx for you still.

Thankyou to everyone who has asked after me. My teaching was ok and a nice distraction. I spoke to my boss, she was amazing. She congratulated me at first but when I explained what was happening, she said, 'stoat, what on EARTH are you doing here'. We've planned the next week and she is demanding I take time off if required. She sadly has had two miscarriages herself (she has subsequently had children) so very empathetic. She is saying lots of prayers for me (as is her way) and being very kind. A friend of mine sent me a parcel of CDs today as well so feeling a bit loved.

Still feeling sensations in my uterus I think, I don't know whether that's a good sign, and decent amount of pant snot. Yes I'm symptom spotting but I don't care.

No shagging for us this valentines due to ongoing events but I'm having sex dreams about DH!

MyBlackCat · 13/02/2015 20:13

stoat I'm glad your boss was understanding. It's amazing when you speak about it, how many people have experienced mis-carriage. I really hope your not one of them and that it all works out ok for you x

Stoatystoat · 13/02/2015 20:22

I really felt for her, I could see the pain on her face when she recalled hers.

We have started to talk to the baby now, including my 2 year old nephew, he cuddled my tummy and when we were saying 'get big baby' he shouted it into my tummy.

Lemondrizzletwunt · 13/02/2015 20:23

Aw stoat I'm glad that today at least had a positive tint for you...I think people can be very uncaring about early pregnancy and its worries. I still have my gx crossed for you and have been thinking about you today not like that you dirty girl Wink

CountryGal4 · 13/02/2015 20:25

Stoat that's good to hear

In other news I'm having prosecco for dinner - it's been that SHIT of a week

Purplecircle · 13/02/2015 20:27

Stoaty that's good to hear, I've been wondering how you were. Still keeping everything crossed for you Smile

honeysucklejasmine · 13/02/2015 20:59

Prosecco? Sounds like a good way to polish off the week. You ok?

CountryGal4 · 13/02/2015 21:07

Very good. Half a bottle of prosecco plus no dinner equals squiffy. Feel much better. I'm ok just had a hellish week at work

lildottie · 13/02/2015 21:12

stoat I assume the bleeding hasn't come back? if so that can only be good. big hugs and sticky bean vibes for you xx