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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!

999 replies

ChatEnOeuf · 26/01/2015 17:40

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 37 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2282306-The-37th-Just-Shaggers-are-on-their-way-Watch-out-for-accidental-erections-and-bruising-injections-polish-your-perfect-ovaries-were-climbing-a-mountain-and-digging-deeply-to-get-our-BFPs?msgid=52150588#52150588" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2284897-20th-JSing-GRADS-thread-our-chats-still-filthy-just-not-in-front-of-the-baby" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
Hobbit19 · 10/02/2015 21:51

My ovaries are being mental again. Weirdly they calmed right down after we DTD last night. Maybe they are getting hooked on Jizz?!

LaLaLaaaa · 10/02/2015 22:09

I also mc after starting the thread after my bfp :(

It was very unlucky.

I can start new one for you lot though if you like?

LaLaLaaaa · 10/02/2015 22:09

But you're way off that point! You need to talk more!

lildottie · 10/02/2015 22:20

yeah la wants to have the last word again Wink

lildottie · 10/02/2015 22:20

actually, try and save me the last post!

ChatEnOeuf · 10/02/2015 22:29

I thought I miscarried on the one after the one with the BFP, the one what I started... But it was all fine, and I am actually an excellent Fred-starter Grin Passing the weight of expectation mantle to another esteemed grad this time, got to share nicely, undergrads Wink

Lemon that is excellent - what is it?!

Welcome back Pig, the place hasn't been the same without you and Mr McShane :)

OP posts:
LaLaLaaaa · 10/02/2015 22:32

Lil I'm promising nothing!

glidingpig · 10/02/2015 22:36

Thanks chaps! Tis good to be back. Grin

Really hope all goes well tomorrow, Stoat.

Ainat266 · 10/02/2015 22:58

I need to try and sleep. It's been a horrible day and I need it finished. Though there were some laugh out loud comments on here that have helped a little.

Just wanted to wave hello to all the newbies. Grin

lil was it today you phoned the doctor? Or is that tomorrow?

DH IS snoring. I need to give him a good kick..

lildottie · 10/02/2015 22:59

tomorrow ain, and I'm breaking out the digu for the unicorn!

la I'm watching you!

honeysucklejasmine · 10/02/2015 23:26

What happened Ain? Sad

Pud, La, a comment you'll appreciate. I was doing evolution with a lovely little 10 yo the other day. I said "Its a common mistake that we evolved from chimpanzees. Actually, we have a common ancestor" and then proceeded to explain what that meant. She thought for a minute, smiled and said "some people are so silly. I bet they think that dwarfs evolved from marmosets!" I almost wet myself laughing.

Ainat266 · 10/02/2015 23:47

can't sleep. :-(

lil I'm looking forward to your digi pic.

honey I can't really go in to too much detail but it was just a really hard day. spent a good hour crying this afternoon. didn't help that I was feeling sleep deprived and I get emotional and teary much quicker when I'm overtired...

still over tired. why can't I sleep?

daisyspice · 11/02/2015 00:07

Aw ain't big hugs! Your mind is probably going overtime! Someone once told me a trick by tensing your muscles and then releasing from toes upwards until ur head is all floaty and relaxed....counting sheep always made me worse!

Hi to all the newbies welcome Smile

I reckon we could make one hell of a story with all the lingo "cunthawk had a twitchy clit so donned the cape hid in the cupboard...."

australopithecus · 11/02/2015 06:23

Hola pig. I've only been on here for a bit so don't know you stares sternly at your username, gleaning from it what I can but welcome back anyways.
Cd8. Reckon I (or dp at least) should take the plunge tonight. Ewcm yesterday and ew/watery stuff today.

australopithecus · 11/02/2015 06:25

By the bye, I take it a twitchy clit is not the same as an itchy clit? Hmm

ChatEnOeuf · 11/02/2015 06:43

Honey that is utterly brilliant Grin I want my child to say more things like that!

Ain hope you managed some sleep and that today is better.

OP posts:
LaLaLaaaa · 11/02/2015 07:30

Digi lil! Where are you? Wake up lil!

Sorry to hear about your crappy day ain, today is another day.

Just been on a AIBU post where the OP (who's conceived 4 dc naturally no problems) thought nhs shouldn't be funding fertility treatment because it's less important as treatment for diseases. It really really annoys me when people post from position of comfort about an issue they've never experienced. Of course treatment for disease is vital, but infertility is devastating and all the ttc and fertility threads on MN are testament to how much it can take over lives! Grr...

I can't do new Fred at work so you might need to ask someone else. Purple or dulcet?

LaLaLaaaa · 11/02/2015 07:31

Honey hooray for biology! Love it!

Having lots of fun at work at the moment trying to unravel the complex taxonomy of lizards and salamanders. Phew it made my brain hurt yesterday!

DulcetMoans · 11/02/2015 07:38

Yeah, come on lil. You should be setting your alarm earlier for our sake over this important time!

I am sure that sort of thread pops up every so often la, just to cause havoc. Will go over and see what the responses are later.

Why has everyone got so woo yesterday then?! My thread wasn't very lucky last time, don't think there were any BFPs. You don't want me.

jellypi3 · 11/02/2015 07:42

Morning viroids! It's Wednesday! Woo :)

lil where is the digi! We demand a digi!

gliding hey! How have you been? And why have we not invoked Ian McShane talk in ages? It's disgraceful viroids.

CD4 is just as boring as CD3. Although the witch is easing up so hopefully tomorrow we will be back in action!

Let's fill this Fred quick so we can get a new one, this one has lasted way too long!!

jellypi3 · 11/02/2015 07:43

My Fred was terribly unlucky, no BFP's at all!

honeysucklejasmine · 11/02/2015 07:50

Grin I was so impressed with the way she looked at the world. Lovely kid!

I don't think mine was especially lucky either. I think we need someone we've not had for ages. Kato?

lildottie · 11/02/2015 08:23

God you lot are so impatient! I wfh, I don't set the alarm until 8! Anyway here it is, pregnant 1-2! Now worrying that it should say 2-3 as conception was 2+1 ago, and also this makes me think its only one. The wait until scan is going to draaaaaaag!

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!
CountryGal4 · 11/02/2015 08:27

Well look at that lil. What a lovely site in the morning

jellypi3 · 11/02/2015 08:30

Yay for digi! Don't stress lil you know how inaccurate those digi's are. (I know, a bit rich coming from me to say don't stress lol).