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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!

999 replies

ChatEnOeuf · 26/01/2015 17:40

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 37 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2282306-The-37th-Just-Shaggers-are-on-their-way-Watch-out-for-accidental-erections-and-bruising-injections-polish-your-perfect-ovaries-were-climbing-a-mountain-and-digging-deeply-to-get-our-BFPs?msgid=52150588#52150588" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2284897-20th-JSing-GRADS-thread-our-chats-still-filthy-just-not-in-front-of-the-baby" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
jellypi3 · 10/02/2015 14:31

Not a chance lil we get the train to work!!! In central London, hardly the place for privacy haha!

I think twitchy clit should be in next fred title. Speaking of which, who is doing it? Has to be a grad! La? Ind?

glidingpig · 10/02/2015 15:01

Afternoon shaggers, can I come back into the fold? I was here in the autumn, took a few months off trying in order to get my head straight after two CPs, but this month we're back on the shagwagon! Though I think I iced yesterday and both me and DH were too busy with work (seriously until 2am, the pair of us) to do anything, gah.

Lemondrizzletwunt · 10/02/2015 15:07

Saw this and thought you bunch would appreciate it!

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!
Lemondrizzletwunt · 10/02/2015 15:09

Haha Country that was what I thought you meant, and then figured nobody could be as tenuously filthy as me, so you couldn't possibly mean that! Wondered instead if you might be in witness protection or something

Lemondrizzletwunt · 10/02/2015 15:09

gliding, welcome home!!! It's nice to have you back Smile

honeysucklejasmine · 10/02/2015 15:11

Haha glad it amused you Gaggia!

I got ya Country Wink Filthy mare.

Lemon that sounds uncomfortable! Awfully sweaty!

Hi Gilding, glad you're back on the wagon! Get shagging!

Yes, new thread. OK, grads, do your stuff!

honeysucklejasmine · 10/02/2015 15:13

OMG how wicked would that be if Country was it witness protection?! Wrl, not awesome for Country, but really exciting for us! Wink

CountryGal4 · 10/02/2015 15:20

I'm actually a spy. A secret shagger if you will. They call me gal... Country gal I have a licence to thrill!!

LaLaLaaaa · 10/02/2015 16:02

Hi diamond waves nice to meet you!

gliding!! Lovely to see you!!

Twitchy clit is genius. Today I have arse rain and trumpy bum. Glam personified.

Who's next to test gals?

I'm Sussex but actually from Edinburgh, we're down sarf for my job but will move back home after baby

Poochieblue · 10/02/2015 17:17

wow! lovely to see the Fred's picked up like we've never been away!! welcome mazy and diamond and welcome home pig

yes please would another lucky grad do us another lucky shiny sparkley "the one after lils BFP and twitchy clits" fred. I'm due to POAS at the weekend and I need good luck!! (am convincing myself I am broke this month as have decidedly NO AF symptoms at all even though I've usually had them for about 4 days by now!)

It took me a minute country but I got your meaning! I think there are still some viroids who need more corrupting!!!

can i just say I didn't envisage James Bond re the helicopter sex, I totally saw Mr Grey! speaking of which my mum asked when it was out earlier cringe lol

lildottie · 10/02/2015 17:19

the whole mc bad luck was just owhen ppl got a bfp on the thread they started right? if so I'll do new Fred. think of it as my parting gift!

hi gliding. wb

Hobbit19 · 10/02/2015 17:58

Ha ha lemon, spat my tea out at boil in the bag fanny! What the actual?
Pissy sticks arrived in the post today. Almost weed on one and then I hid them at the back of the wardrobe like a mentalist. Was totally convinced that I was preggers until yesterday when my ovaries went all squiffy. So I am either 14dpo and quite possibly upduffed, or 1dpo and a bit of an idiot. Will still test on Sat am. We DTD yesterday though so if I was icing then Yey for that!

Hobbit19 · 10/02/2015 18:02

Hello newbies! (Waves like a special). Anyone else piss in this weekend apart from me and pooch? on sticks not just for necessity/fun

lildottie · 10/02/2015 18:05

I'm pretty sure I'll be poas every day for the next few weeks, just for fun!

diamondsparkles · 10/02/2015 19:02

Hello! - thank you for the lovely welcome and am looking forward to chatting lots with you viroids Grin

justtheonethen · 10/02/2015 19:16

one I will be if af doesn't get me first

Cracking up at twitchy clit!

Stoatystoat · 10/02/2015 19:20

Oh hello you filthy bitches, still talking about shagging tut tut.

It's early scan day tomorrow, go and see if there's anything more than last week. God I hope so.

Hope everyone is ok.

Hobbit19 · 10/02/2015 20:02

Will be thinking of you Stoat xxx

mountaingirl01 · 10/02/2015 20:13

lemon WHAT is that?!

Don't want to be superstitiouslil but I mc'd after starting the thread after my bfp..I really wouldn't risk it!

jellypi3 · 10/02/2015 20:25

Thinking of you stoat

Purplecircle · 10/02/2015 20:33

What's this about bad luck? I got pregnant on the fred I started

honeysucklejasmine · 10/02/2015 20:41

Ladies, ladies! We've just experience the magic of science creating a lilbaby... I doubt we need to worry about superstition, do we? touches wood

Maybe we need an established grad, or a new JS mummy? Anyone popped recently?

Stoatystoat · 10/02/2015 21:26

Yes the stork has visited on the grads Fred

honeysucklejasmine · 10/02/2015 21:37

Send them our way, Stoat!

Stoatystoat · 10/02/2015 21:48

Have flagged it up Smile