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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The 37th Just Shaggers are on their way! Watch out for accidental erections and bruising injections, polish your perfect ovaries, we're climbing a mountain and digging deeply to get our BFPs!

999 replies

honeysucklejasmine · 14/01/2015 16:46

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 36 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2263704-O-Come-all-ye-Viroids-joyful-and-triumphant-Deck-the-halls-with-Contraband-All-I-want-for-Christmas-is-a-BFP-Just-Shag-all-the-way-no36" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2272951-The-JS-Grads-turn-19-Were-cooking-and-popping-out-our-JSing-babies-with-style-co-ordinated-changing-bags-and-a-healthy-dose-of-humour" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome
OP posts:
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7
jellypi3 · 15/01/2015 11:34

Lemon i've just noticed you have made it into the fred preamble! Legend!

Stoatystoat · 15/01/2015 11:39

How early is TOO early?
My back is really bothering me and trying to decide what painkillers to take and not to would be made a whole lot easier. I took ibuprofen and I've realised that was a twatty thing to do.

I've got 3 or 2 days from today.

Poochieblue · 15/01/2015 11:41

OMG Part 2 has 1001 posts - my OCD will never be able to cope with this anomoly!!! breathe...... breathe...... breatthhhheeeeeeeee

jellypi3 · 15/01/2015 11:41

How many DPO are you Stoat?

jellypi3 · 15/01/2015 11:42

POOCH LINKS!!! I WANA SEE!"!!

Stoatystoat · 15/01/2015 11:45

Not entirely sure, I'm day 26 of a 27 or 28 day cycle. I've just been going by Ovia, not been opking or temping

Poochieblue · 15/01/2015 11:53

link to JS 1 here this is where it all began! but only 955 posts!!! ggrrrrr

link to JS 2 here

hope i've done the links right this time - been a pleb in the past lol

Stoatystoat · 15/01/2015 11:54

I think I should try and resist both stick peeing and painkillers. Sounds like codeine is ok though. All v confusing. Think it's unlikely but I guess you never know.

jellypi3 · 15/01/2015 11:56

The sensible person in me would suggest waiting until AF is due Stoat. The TTC maniac in me would say POAS tomorrow! FRER's claim they can detect HCG 4 days before AF is due, but ideally you should wait for 12dpo at the very earliest (14 ideally). Ovulation should have been about 12-14 days ago for you, but this can vary.

jellypi3 · 15/01/2015 11:57

Thanks Pooch! 995 for JS1....gah!

Stoatystoat · 15/01/2015 11:58

I'm going to heed sensible you jelly.

SunshinePickle · 15/01/2015 11:59

I'm not temping or using opks either stoat... Just trying to wait until AF is a couple of days late before testing to avoid disappointment and bankrupting myself on tests. So far AF has been bang on time so I haven't POAS at all.

SunshinePickle · 15/01/2015 12:00

Paracetamol and codeine are okay stoat. Tried a heat pack on your lower back? I find that helps more than anything.

jellypi3 · 15/01/2015 12:01

Well it's all about the Internet Cheapie sticks to piss on viroids Wink not advocating early pissing at all

jellypi3 · 15/01/2015 12:02

Yeh paracetomol are much safter than ibuprofen IIRC

SunshinePickle · 15/01/2015 12:06

If I bought ICs I'd POAS almost everyday and then DH would think I'm even more of a nutter than I am.

Stoatystoat · 15/01/2015 12:08

I'm hooked up to a hot water bottle. Will stick with codeine and paracetamol now I know ibuprofen is a no no, proof I'm not obsessing if I took that without thinking. It means I can also have a cheeky gin later seeing as there's nothing to know, yes?

jellypi3 · 15/01/2015 12:12

Pooch hate to tell you this but it appears none of the early JS freds were finished!

CountryGal4 · 15/01/2015 12:15

Don't say gin! Why did I go dry for January with the potential of having to go dry for another 9 Confused

Poochieblue · 15/01/2015 12:15

omg!! nooooooooo

am going to do some work to try and placate the vat man and then i might have to fix this shit! lol

Poochieblue · 15/01/2015 12:17

lol country that's why i haven't done it this year! haven't had a vodka for a couple of weeks but that's cos of the diet, am leaving myself open cos all i keep thinking is "this could be it for 9 months" omg that sounds like i have issues!!!

Stoatystoat · 15/01/2015 12:18

country why do you think I'm not doing dry January?! I'm hoping for a dry 2015 and until that happens, gin during 2ww occasionally and gin when AF arrives!

jellypi3 · 15/01/2015 12:42

Wow just been through all the old freds (skim reading) up to JS26 when I joined! It's crazy seeing all the names on there and how the freds developed!

australopithecus · 15/01/2015 12:56

Hold yer horses. Surely if you now went back to finish a Fred, you'd have to start a sub-fred? So Fred 9(b) or Fred 14.1.672948.0(e)? Only logical. As for the 1001 post Fred, I think we might need a judicial enquiry into that. Wa-ay out of the ordinary. At the very least we need to alert the Today Programme.

SunshinePickle · 15/01/2015 12:56

Oh my god! It has just occurred to me that my dry January could effectively end up being an-almost dry 2015. This is a good reason to give up dry January, right?! Also considering giving up my diet because there is a raspberry and white chocolate muffin flirting with me in Nero. It knows I want it.