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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The 37th Just Shaggers are on their way! Watch out for accidental erections and bruising injections, polish your perfect ovaries, we're climbing a mountain and digging deeply to get our BFPs!

999 replies

honeysucklejasmine · 14/01/2015 16:46

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 36 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2263704-O-Come-all-ye-Viroids-joyful-and-triumphant-Deck-the-halls-with-Contraband-All-I-want-for-Christmas-is-a-BFP-Just-Shag-all-the-way-no36" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2272951-The-JS-Grads-turn-19-Were-cooking-and-popping-out-our-JSing-babies-with-style-co-ordinated-changing-bags-and-a-healthy-dose-of-humour" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome
OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Stoatystoat · 15/01/2015 08:55

Congratulations purple fab news!

I'm off sick - my back is hurting so much. It was a dull PMT like ache so I thought but then I've pulled it lifting my nephew into his high chair. I'm quite stressed because I had sciatica a year ago and live in fear of that coming back - it's not the same pain I'm having right now though - and if it doesn't get better soon, it's going to hamper the shagging. Anyway, at home, in bed, DVD box set and DH probably will bring tea soon. Really wish I could go for a run :(

australopithecus · 15/01/2015 09:05

Aw stoat. Next time finish the chocolate. It'll stave off sciatica. Another little known fact.

Indigoblue2 · 15/01/2015 09:05

Mega congrats purple!! Super news indeed, well done!!

Purplecircle · 15/01/2015 09:11

Stoat get yourself for a deep tissue massage. I have one a month and it keeps my sciatica at bay

Fleurchamp · 15/01/2015 09:18

Popped over to congratulate purple fantastic news!

Welcome all newbies!

My stats
34
No DC, currently have a pea pod sized bean in the belly due July 2014

Love hanging round here though too although talk of wine and chocolate is making me crave and feel sick simultaneously, the joys!

jellypi3 · 15/01/2015 09:31

Am i the only woman in the world who doesn't like chocolate?

Stoatystoat · 15/01/2015 09:33

I'm not normally such a fiend for it since Cadburys cocked about with the recipe. Finished that Milka last night though.

Poochieblue · 15/01/2015 09:34

well what do you know, i logged on feeling all sorry for myself cos the bitch has arrived and would you believe it but purple's only gone and got bloody upduffed!!! What a way to cheer me up!!!!! clearly the only reason you announced today was to cheer said grouchy pooch up

absolutely over the moon for you!!!!!! get you viroid!!! whoooopppppppppp whoooooooopppppppp!!!!!!! am also crossing every ginger i now see for an indestructabean!!! loving the poor stats too - just shows you there's always hope!!!!

Poochieblue · 15/01/2015 09:35

well done on the temping jelly too lol!!

jellypi3 · 15/01/2015 09:42

Thanks pooch Wink it took a lot of effort and willpower not to roll over back to sleep and instead stick the thermometer in my gob. It also didn't beep for ages!

Purplecircle · 15/01/2015 09:42

Thanks lovelies. I'm slightly terrified. Hopefully I'll get an early scan due to diabetes.

jellypi3 · 15/01/2015 09:49

Gx you do purple :) so happy for you and clearly Mr Purple's amazing (unbroken) penis!

ZylaB · 15/01/2015 09:54

purple have a read at this: It's the NICE guidelines for pregnancy and diabetes there's a good table of what care you should receive, including the extra scans etc!

I had one at 5 weeks cos they wanted to check I was of, and another at 7 to see heartbeat, so definately let them know early on. My hospital run a joint diabetes/pregnancy clinic once a week and every time I go I'm there for a few hours and see midwives, scan if needed, diabetes nurse or doc and obstetrician. I feel looked after and hopefully it'll be the same for you! Grin

ZylaB · 15/01/2015 09:56

*they wanted to check I was pg, not of! Even though I told them exact icing day ;)

Poochieblue · 15/01/2015 10:08

i didn't temp last month as DH complained at my alarm going off at 6.30 when he was off work so had the month off but when i did i would stick it in my mouth and wait for the beep and then "wake up" suddenly feeling like it'd been an hour and i'd missed the beep - which of course i hadn't! so i agree the beep takes forever 1st thing in the morning!! that's what puts me off taking it vaginally, if i doze off so easily with it in my mouth at least the beep stirs me awake again - how am i going to hear it beep down there?!?! lol!!!

teejayem · 15/01/2015 10:19

Placemarking to say hiiii! (And grats again to purple

Stats..
Name : Tee
Age: 31
TTC: From March 2014
DC: Three delinquent cats & a 20 week banana sized tiny tee currently in the Incubator. (Courtesy of much JSing)

jellypi3 · 15/01/2015 10:42

Pooch maybe they should do a vibrating version Wink

Poochieblue · 15/01/2015 11:01

hahaha!!! yes that might work lol! Shock

jellypi3 · 15/01/2015 11:09

I might have to patent this idea!

Poochieblue · 15/01/2015 11:11

to paraphrase delboy - this time next year you could be a millionaire!! hehehe!!

seriously though, how do you hear it beep down there!?!? you could definitely come up with something that works! lol

Poochieblue · 15/01/2015 11:13

lil how did you manage to got back to JS9? i tried following the links back but i think there is one missing way on 20 something....

i need it filled lol!!

jellypi3 · 15/01/2015 11:18

Yeah I tried following them back and got to the early twenties too! Lil is a wizard!!

Poochieblue · 15/01/2015 11:20

I've just done a search and found part 8 so will start filling 9 now - wanna help? lol

Poochieblue · 15/01/2015 11:21

oh. it's full - am confused now - although i have found a few hours reading now lol!!

jellypi3 · 15/01/2015 11:32

oo links!!!