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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The 37th Just Shaggers are on their way! Watch out for accidental erections and bruising injections, polish your perfect ovaries, we're climbing a mountain and digging deeply to get our BFPs!

999 replies

honeysucklejasmine · 14/01/2015 16:46

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 36 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2263704-O-Come-all-ye-Viroids-joyful-and-triumphant-Deck-the-halls-with-Contraband-All-I-want-for-Christmas-is-a-BFP-Just-Shag-all-the-way-no36" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2272951-The-JS-Grads-turn-19-Were-cooking-and-popping-out-our-JSing-babies-with-style-co-ordinated-changing-bags-and-a-healthy-dose-of-humour" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome
OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
kezaroo · 26/01/2015 17:43

To

kezaroo · 26/01/2015 17:43

Close

kezaroo · 26/01/2015 17:44

This

kezaroo · 26/01/2015 17:44

One

kezaroo · 26/01/2015 17:44
Smile
jellypi3 · 26/01/2015 17:46

Thanks chat!!!

Fred filling time gogogoggo

honeysucklejasmine · 26/01/2015 17:52

Goodbye, my first Fred! Hope you were lucky for me Grin

OP posts:
LaLa5 · 26/01/2015 18:06

Oh man! I wasn't here and missed my moment to swoop in and help lil! My threads were unlucky for me but seem to be very lucky for everyone else.

Lil we're all rooting for you!!!

Let's get this Fred filled...

LaLa5 · 26/01/2015 18:07

Word up....let's fill this Fred!

LaLa5 · 26/01/2015 18:08

Word up, cocks the code word...

LaLa5 · 26/01/2015 18:08

C'mon pretty viroids around the world

LaLa5 · 26/01/2015 18:10

Tell your bf, your dh and your dp too

LaLa5 · 26/01/2015 18:10

Wave his penis in the air like you don't care

LaLa5 · 26/01/2015 18:11

Jump him when you're horny, then stick your butt up in the air

ChatEnOeuf · 26/01/2015 18:11

Sorry La, they were getting desperate!!

LaLa5 · 26/01/2015 18:11

Do the deed...do the deed...do the deed quick, uh!

Dot33 · 26/01/2015 18:11

Sorry for fueling the poas crazy. hangs head in shame

LaLa5 · 26/01/2015 18:12

C'mon viroids tell me what's the word, word up!

LaLa5 · 26/01/2015 18:12

Let's fill da Fred!

LaLa5 · 26/01/2015 18:13

The next ones lil's big chance, and she's getting bfp!

LaLa5 · 26/01/2015 18:13

Gets your ROCs out, your unicorn, get your preseed too

LaLa5 · 26/01/2015 18:14

Now jump those men - come viroids now you know just what to do!

LaLa5 · 26/01/2015 18:14

Word.

LaLa5 · 26/01/2015 18:14

Boom!

Cunthawk.

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