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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The 37th Just Shaggers are on their way! Watch out for accidental erections and bruising injections, polish your perfect ovaries, we're climbing a mountain and digging deeply to get our BFPs!

999 replies

honeysucklejasmine · 14/01/2015 16:46

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 36 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2263704-O-Come-all-ye-Viroids-joyful-and-triumphant-Deck-the-halls-with-Contraband-All-I-want-for-Christmas-is-a-BFP-Just-Shag-all-the-way-no36" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2272951-The-JS-Grads-turn-19-Were-cooking-and-popping-out-our-JSing-babies-with-style-co-ordinated-changing-bags-and-a-healthy-dose-of-humour" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome
OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
CountryGal4 · 14/01/2015 18:40

Why the hell am I eating salad if you gals aren't. Someone bring me chocolate immediately!!!

honeysucklejasmine · 14/01/2015 18:41

Ha ha welcome Austra! soooo not typing out your full username, too lazy

DH is eating chocolate but I am abstaining like a good girl. Angry

OP posts:
Muddytoes1 · 14/01/2015 18:47

Dh can't be bothered to go to the shop to get cookies so has been baking a huge batch of them, then eating them all in one night. This is happening a lot recently and may lead to marital breakdown as I am trying to abstain. It's the delicious smell! Starting to think he might be upduffed.

jellypi3 · 14/01/2015 18:51

Welcome austra and country :) I have competition! Every day!!! Best not let DP read this fred haha!

I'm so tempted by pizza tonight. AF from hell has left me in that mood ( combined with shit day at work).

australopithecus · 14/01/2015 18:55

Thanks for the welcome. Fwiw, abstaining from chocolate is like abstaining from sex. It'll get you nowhere in the end. Join the dark side.
Besides, it has been scientifically proven that children conceived on chocolate are eventually happier, healthier, wealthier, smarter, sexier, sportier, read more, paint more, swim more, have sex more, and are more humble, more sensitive, more assertive, more thick-skinned, more kind, more likely to do the chores assigned to them without throwing tantrums as children, and more able to deal with poor internet connections as adults, than those conceived on salad. Fact. Join the dark side.

Jcandy · 14/01/2015 19:01

Name: JC or candy
Age:30
TTC: Aug 14
DC: none, mc Nov 14

The previous Fred isn't full yet viroids!!! Fred filling before chatting, you knows the rules! Grin

CountryGal4 · 14/01/2015 19:04

Austra no chocolate in the house.... Send help

australopithecus · 14/01/2015 19:11

Sorry jc I'm new on Fred. I'll shut up now. Besides, I have to get going if I'm planning on catching up with stoaty.
Best of luck country. It'll be hard, I'm sure. We are both in need, clearly. Possibly in need of wine too, but since I promised jc I'd shut up, and DC has gone down, I'll just leave it there. Grin

lildottie · 14/01/2015 19:19

Name: lil
Age: 29
DCs: None yet but hoping to be upduffed by the end of the month with the magic of science. Stimms start in less than an hour!

CountryGal4 · 14/01/2015 19:26

Also apologies on my part JC am so brand new to the whole thing that i f*cked my stats up.

Name: countrygal
Age: 26
Dc: none
Ttc: jan 15

So this is my first attempt. God sake lack of chocolate and wine is ruining my brain. Consider me silenced until appropriate Grin

lildottie · 14/01/2015 19:36

haha AU's I like you already! you and country are going to fit in well here! welcome! how long have you been lurking with stalking us?

I was going to check if you meant 15 country.

tink please do stick around and get your pom poms at the ready. gutted the drs have screwed up you being my bfp buddy but I'll be sticking around these parts until you can hit the grads thread with me (although I have kinda already invaded over there!)

jc well said!

jelly if you're filling a pad every hour I think you're supposed to seek medical attention!! hope it settles soon Thanks

ZylaB · 14/01/2015 19:44

Hey, am quietly crossing my fingers and gingers for you ladies!

Jcandy · 14/01/2015 19:50

austra and country you are forgiven for being new Grin Welcome!!

CountryGal4 · 14/01/2015 19:54

Yes apparently my sodding brain hasn't worked out its 2015. Brand new to mn and have been floating around the other boards last couple of days. A lot of talk of temping left me a bit alienated to be honest. Found you gals today. Have spent the last 10 years on the pill so really didn't even know what a cycle was until the last couple of months. Look to be a 28 dayer poss ov last week. Af due 23rd jan.

jellypi3 · 14/01/2015 20:18

Ok maybe filling was an over exaggeration, but it certainly feels uncomfortable after an hour. It's calming down a weeny bit!

LaLa5 · 14/01/2015 20:37

Some fine Fred filling there viroids! Love a good sweary end of Fred!

Wankbadgers!

Name: La
Age: 34
Ttc: since July 2012, mc sept 2014
DCs: upduffed finally with a 14 week lemon sized DC1, due July.

Hi everyone! I need to go back and read the end of last Fred. Welcome to all the newbies

Poochieblue · 14/01/2015 21:23

Excellant finishing there lil :-D

Purplecircle · 14/01/2015 21:33

Hurray for new fred

Name: Purplecircle
Age 40
TTC since Jan 2014
DCs: none, m/c July, harvesting a poppy seed due Sept 2015

Yep you read that right lovelies, I just got home and POAS and got my BFFP!

We're telling no one not even parents for at least 2 weeks. Need to get past 5+2 at least. Definitely proceeding with caution this time

lildottie · 14/01/2015 21:34

what a start to the thread purple congrats!

jellypi3 · 14/01/2015 21:41

WHATTTTTTTTT

OMG PURPLE YOU GOT A MFBFFP!!!!!!!

Great start to new fred!!!!! So happy for you Grin

Purplecircle · 14/01/2015 21:45

I guess starting the fred is lucky after all then :-)

Thanks lovelies, we're very chuffed and a wee bit nervous

ZylaB · 14/01/2015 21:46

Oh purple many congrats!!

(Do ring the diabetes team at the hospital tomorrow though, they'll get you in asap for early scan and to talk you through what will happen with your sugars)

I'm so excited for you! :)

Purplecircle · 14/01/2015 21:49

Thanks Zyla, I'm actually going on Tuesday anyway so I'll talk to them about it then
I don't think there is anything to worry about in the meantime, is there? I'll keep checking sugar, just to be on the safe side

Purplecircle · 14/01/2015 21:52

The line was loads darker than last time. Gx that's a good signSmile

jellypi3 · 14/01/2015 21:53

You were sure this time round too eh!

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