Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The 37th Just Shaggers are on their way! Watch out for accidental erections and bruising injections, polish your perfect ovaries, we're climbing a mountain and digging deeply to get our BFPs!

999 replies

honeysucklejasmine · 14/01/2015 16:46

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 36 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2263704-O-Come-all-ye-Viroids-joyful-and-triumphant-Deck-the-halls-with-Contraband-All-I-want-for-Christmas-is-a-BFP-Just-Shag-all-the-way-no36" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2272951-The-JS-Grads-turn-19-Were-cooking-and-popping-out-our-JSing-babies-with-style-co-ordinated-changing-bags-and-a-healthy-dose-of-humour" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome
OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Noniks3 · 26/01/2015 15:23

As it's your EC Eve Lil I'll let you off Wink

Aus I would love to have you & your naughty quips over for tea! I was thinking chicken stuffed with feta & toms with roasted veg it has to be virtuous I'm afraid as bikini time is looming & I'm still jiggly

rachelrawrrr · 26/01/2015 15:48

I'm barely resisting, got a new kitty today so she'll keep my mind off it! Grin

Poochieblue · 26/01/2015 15:52

if aus doesn't want it let me know what time it'll be done non i'm there!! lol!! sounds lush!!

Cooking for one this eve as DH works on sis and bils new house project in spare time and sis is feeding him tonight - please note no invite for me!! think i should take a hint!?

Have made a proactive start on getting myself out of my pickle and applied for 2 jobs online today, another 2 in progress but will have to wait until i get home to attach my CV (which i still haven't changed around to focus more on my retail experience rather than my accounting! :-/ ) am half way through another and then i shall go home. - as you can tell i have been over run with work tasks today!!

batfish · 26/01/2015 16:18

Oh dear viroids I need a hooyah - keep being convinced I'm upduffed just because I've got really sore boobs. For the 4th day. And some abdomen twinges. So like the most pathetic symptoms ever given that these things can occur every cycle! Although sore boobs are usually closer to AF and only a day or 2.

I know I'm being ridiculous. But why hasn't someone invented a test yet that knows 1 day after conception!? Would save us so many hours of obsessing.

9dpo according to FF but that's based on temping which I'd only started a few days before that so icing date not really reliable. AF due on Saturday. Thank god I'm going on hols on Friday so I will quickly get over the arrival of AF (with the help of wine and cheese) after all of this preggo daydreaming!

jellypi3 · 26/01/2015 16:19

Hooyah heading your way Bat!

I've been struggling with the difference between womb-y cramps and muscle cramps so bad today, feels like AF cramps at the moment :(

So....do we have a grad doing the new fred?

Poochieblue · 26/01/2015 16:39

should i head over there and send a plea on one of them to take pity on us and give us a new home? they might not be lurking?? :-/

Poochieblue · 26/01/2015 16:45

done it - think i suitably grovelled enough for one of them to take pity lol!!

batfish · 26/01/2015 16:45

Thanks jelly haha, I'm usually so good at being a pessimist with these things so I don't want to get my hopes up!

jellypi3 · 26/01/2015 16:54

They had better hurry up pooch we are running out of posts! Where will we spread our filth?

daisyspice · 26/01/2015 16:58

Hooyah for you bat! Il be needing it reciprocated in a few days....only iced yest (I think) and now have a superhuman sense of smell so I must be upduffed right?! Trying to get a grip Smile either way it's a win win in two weeks time il either have a bfp or pissed singing shania twain Grin

Rachel when is the new fur baby arriving?

Hope everyone is good.....Monday is almost over

batfish · 26/01/2015 17:05

Haha daisy what are we like! I'm dying to POAS but know it's absolutely pointless!

daisyspice · 26/01/2015 17:08

Even when u do tho and its a bfn it's the whole denial thing yeah it's way to early to tell I'll do it again in a few days.......torture lol!

ChatEnOeuf · 26/01/2015 17:11

Worry not undergrads...couldn't have you homeless! I'll have you sorted out and ready to move in before you can POAS :)

mummyofonesofar · 26/01/2015 17:13

I need a big kick from you lovely viroids. I have 27/28 day cycles. We haven't tried in Jan. DTD cd16 but with protection due to the timings of a potential due date. DTD without protection on CD27 only. I am now on cd31. No AF! I KNOW I cannot be pregnant due to timings. But so want to POAS "just incase". It's so silly and I don't want to waste one. So please kick me Confused

jellypi3 · 26/01/2015 17:22

Thanks chat Grin looking forward to it!!

kezaroo · 26/01/2015 17:25

Well The bleed has stopped again and it wasn't even much.

Think I'm going to see what im like tomorrow and poas while the DH is away.

Can't help but feel like I'll be wasting a stick ... But I dunno. I just feel different and this af didn't feel like af.

Dot33 · 26/01/2015 17:38

mummy you just never know, maybe a sneaky one escaped on CD 16? POAMFS and let's end this fred on a high!

I'm away but hoping everyone's well? Thanks chat for creating a new home for us Smile

ChatEnOeuf · 26/01/2015 17:42

Ah Kez it sucks being messed around so much.

Get Fred filling Viroids New Fred is here

jellypi3 · 26/01/2015 17:42

mummy I'm surprised you can still try and plan around due dates haha! I gave up on that notion before even starting TTC lol!

kezaroo · 26/01/2015 17:42

How

kezaroo · 26/01/2015 17:43

Many

kezaroo · 26/01/2015 17:43

Posts

kezaroo · 26/01/2015 17:43

Does

kezaroo · 26/01/2015 17:43

It

kezaroo · 26/01/2015 17:43

Need