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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The 37th Just Shaggers are on their way! Watch out for accidental erections and bruising injections, polish your perfect ovaries, we're climbing a mountain and digging deeply to get our BFPs!

999 replies

honeysucklejasmine · 14/01/2015 16:46

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 36 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2263704-O-Come-all-ye-Viroids-joyful-and-triumphant-Deck-the-halls-with-Contraband-All-I-want-for-Christmas-is-a-BFP-Just-Shag-all-the-way-no36" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2272951-The-JS-Grads-turn-19-Were-cooking-and-popping-out-our-JSing-babies-with-style-co-ordinated-changing-bags-and-a-healthy-dose-of-humour" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome
OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
CountryGal4 · 15/01/2015 13:27

There's the bonus if af next week then ... A big fat lovely thirst quenching gin

jellypi3 · 15/01/2015 13:36

Sun hopefully it will be a dray 2015 for most of us :)

jellypi3 · 15/01/2015 13:37

dry*

CountryGal4 · 15/01/2015 13:45

In an unrelated story- a packet of chocolate buttons fell into my hands at the supermarket today?!?

SunshinePickle · 15/01/2015 13:47

It's a sign country they obviously needed to be eaten.

Purplecircle · 15/01/2015 14:18

I'll be dry until 24th September or thereabouts Smile

gaggiagirl · 15/01/2015 14:31

I'm doing dry January! I'm less bloated and feel better.
I'm off to make peanut butter cupcakes now. I intend to freeze most of them NOT EAT THEM!
In other news I've had all of the sex so far this cycle but its been ED which probably isn't great....meh.

kezaroo · 15/01/2015 14:39

Awesome new Fred! I really need to get on here more, it isn't acceptable for a regular to be inputting her stats on page 6!

Name: kez
Age: 27
DC: 1 husband
Cycle: 4+1

Already done this in the Facebook page but ... Congratulations purple!! Awesomest news right now!!

Latest at my end is that I'm not feeling this month will be it. Too much stress going which I've mentioned before. Work is hectic too and we've hardly dtd! No idea if that was even near ovulation so just waiting for af to arrive now. Gutted as I feel like it's a month wasted Sad

Onwards n upwards (as aposed to what should be inwards and outwards (giggle))

Noniks3 · 15/01/2015 15:21

heelllooo, after a brief break I'm back! how is this 'new' thread already on page 6?!

Noniks
31
TTC July 2014, CP Oct 2014
DCs 2 scrummy spaniels

jellypi3 · 15/01/2015 15:29

Hey noniks :) we've missed you!!! And it's on page 6 because some of us have no life get bored easy Wink

Ga ED?? How many days in is that? That's a challenge!

Can't wait for the witch to vacate my fanjo so we can get started again. Will be month 3/4 of trying properly!

Noniks3 · 15/01/2015 15:30

Congrats Mountain & Purple on your BFPs, great news.

La so please you're cooking nicely x

Lil that's flown by! you're getting so very close - now drink so water!!

Tink come back!!

Last time I checked in I was due to test on Christmas day...BFN & then just to rub salt in AF came 2 days early so much for my fricking xmas BFP This means my last 2 cycles were 24 & 26 days respectively not my normal 28. Hope body has now sorted itself out, TTC seemed all a bit pointless & I got rather demoralised...

Now on CD22 - I must warn you all that if I am in sync with anyone you are much more likely -virtually guaranteed-- to get your BFP...IT happened in October with La & Mountain, November with Indigo & December with Deeply!! See?!?! I am the ultimate pissing good luck charm!! In a vain attempt to be my own charm, DH & I did all the sex last week - every goddamn day

Will be in swimwear next month so no booze/choc for me right now in a last minute attempt to look less offensive where I will put it all back on & more whilst we're away Blush

Hi & welcome to Austra & Country, nice to meet you both - you both seem like you're settling in marvellously! Grin

Hope you're all well viroids

Noniks3 · 15/01/2015 15:32

hey Jelly, good to be back with you all

I warn you I'm challenging you for SOTM - we had a 7 day straight!!

Purplecircle · 15/01/2015 15:37

Hey noniks welcome back Smile
Sounds like your mojo has returned.
We had 2 shags this cycle, I shit you not. Of course now I couldn't care less but it only takes 1 swimmer in the right place at the right time Smile

Poochieblue · 15/01/2015 15:46

i am one of those who has no life gets bored easily lol! i seem to have waves of posting loads and then just lurking for a while, just don't even have a crap to write somedays it seems! i do seem to love a nice fresh fred though... like fresh snow? lol

welcome back noniks we have missed you around here too, boy have you come back to JSing with a bang! a 7day straight?! HOW!? no actually - scrap that i don't want to know, just don't tell my DH haha!

Muddytoes1 · 15/01/2015 15:47

Wow new Fred is moving fast! Mahoooooosive congrats Purple, you were so adament this wasn't your month too!

Noniks where are you headed? So jealous if it's somewhere hot (assumed it was a holiday but guess you could be doing some bikini catwalk thing Hmm)

honeysucklejasmine · 15/01/2015 16:53

Bloody hell, you lot are chatty!

Noniks! My favourite commando crusader! Glad to see you back!

OP posts:
TinkerBlue · 15/01/2015 17:09

noniks good to see you back! Those pants are certainly working if you've managed a 7 day straight! My af arrived Christmas day too! And I haven't really left, just lurking in a cheerleading capacity for the time being! Am master of pom poms for now Smile Hoping this is your month.

Welcome newbies, I like the cut of your jib' s already.

bother if you're lurking let us know you're ok? You are missed....

australopithecus · 15/01/2015 17:41

Thanks for the welcomes, folksies. I have a medicinal stash of gin you're welcome to dip into. Unlike the condoms I found at the back of the bathroom cabinet the other day, this stock is regularly replenished, and tastes a lot better.

Noniks3 · 15/01/2015 17:44

I erred on the side of caution purple & decided to try and surround my egg! Am just hopeful this will be a normal cycle so we stand a fighting chance...

Thanks Pooch, to be fair we had nearly 2 weeks without any action as manic in the run up to crimbo & then bitch face surprised us. I'll not tell your DH!

Muddy we're off to Cuba! Belated honeymoon.

Hey Honey, hope witch is easing up for you? Missed you too!

Tink I saw we were in sync...hoping I shall be your lucky viroid and help you with medically defiant BFP Grin

Stoatystoat · 15/01/2015 17:51

austro PMSL at the condoms

I've just nipped to town and have bought the first stick to pee on that I actually want to see lines on! I assume at some point over the next few months, I'll stop feeling naughty for buying one?! Anyway, it says you can test 4 days early but I'm not doing. I know early testing is considered bad form and I'm nervous now I have it in the house...in case I'm disappointed it's negative and if it's positive, a big life change is on the cards. So I'm watching trash tv and reading magazines. My main thing is concentrating on getting my back better for shagging and for pregnancy, I've realised it's one of my weak points and something I will probably struggle with.

CountryGal4 · 15/01/2015 18:06

noniks brilliant that is exactly what we did this month. Nuke the bugger with swimmers!! If it hasn't bloody work I shall throw the ovia app out the ruddy window

stoat I have a two pack of early testers lurking in the bathroom. I thought they would take the pressure off. Instead they're talking to me

Thanks for the welcomes all. Nice to feel at home on a board. Any cycle buddies? am cd21

Jcandy · 15/01/2015 18:07

Hey noniks! Cuba is gorgeous! You'll love it Smile

Can't believe the first freds weren't finished! Very slack....

I'm on to my 7th day of flashy smileys today. Seems my cycles have decided they wanted to be longer since my mc so opposite to you noniks hope I ice soon! EOD shagging at the moment though, so just need to keep it going till I ice

lildottie · 15/01/2015 18:31

hi all. man you lot need to start doing some work when you're at work!!

injection last night was a pita and dh isn't here to help me with it tonight grr. oh shit. just realised I'm going out tomorrow night but need to do injection at 8.15pm ffs

noniks yay, good to have u back!

honeysucklejasmine · 15/01/2015 19:35

The witch has retreated Noniks, so at least she didn't out stay her welcome this time.

My cycles are shorter now too. 25 days, only get to 12dpo these days. Sad

Lil is the needle etc different, or just trying to reach the location?

OP posts:
spicydaisy · 15/01/2015 19:56

Hi guys newbie alert!

Name daisy
Age 28
DC none
TTC Dec 2014

Attempted to chart and all that carry on but I haven't a clue what I'm doing so decided just to wing it and shag like a demon and hope for the best Smile