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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The Truth about Um Bongo, Broken Penises and Sad Fleas - it's all here, just don't talk about the Elephant in the Womb! Pee on Nigel Farage (or in a Thermos), and Join the Bonkers Bonkers for JS 30!

999 replies

ChatEnOeuf · 15/10/2014 18:02

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development!

The link to Part 29 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2198677-Jizz-in-your-eyes-raining-out-of-your-arse-or-just-feeling-boggin-Come-and-join-the-JSers-for-fun-and-frolics-And-some-of-them-drooling-over-Ian-McShane-whoever-he-may-be-Its-Just-Shagging-29" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2202292-Just-Shagging-Grads-thread-No-13-for-upduffed-viroids" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
mountaingirl01 · 01/11/2014 10:08

I take epo every day but not twot. I did get ewcm this time too so something went right

lildottie · 01/11/2014 10:18

haha la you clearly have a reputation!

not yet dulcet but I'm working on it. he's currently cleaning NY car then plans to do the garden so may catch him after that as he won't let me near him when he's all sweaty shame

gaggiagirl · 01/11/2014 10:19

la I got flowers and chocolate post mc too. Im not sure if mc gifts are a thing but they should be! I want a cheesecake now.

honeysucklejasmine · 01/11/2014 10:41

Just because Dulcet. Thank you ladies for the lovely ideas. Scones! Yum!

Thanks also for the epo info.

Noniks3 · 01/11/2014 10:48

What about shortbread or fudge for the treat basket bit obsessed with shortbread

I take EPO every day, noticed more CM since taking & less hurty boobs in the run up to AF. Not sure if its helps with my PMT yet...

Also hid from trick or treaters last night with the lights off!!

During cheeky shag this morning DH & I managed a photo finish. Clearly we were nowhere near in the window. We have decided to practice more.

Noniks3 · 01/11/2014 10:49

Name: Noniks
Age: 31
TTC: July 2014
DCs: none, 2 scrummy spaniels (who are newly bathed & especially scrummy)

Noniks3 · 01/11/2014 10:51

indigo are you not POAS today??

honey is there still hope??

must feed greediness for BFPs

Leela5 · 01/11/2014 12:07

Are you not meant to take epo after certain time? Didn't know this

Still in bed

Really want cheesecake now

Leela5 · 01/11/2014 12:12

Ceasing taking epo. Will just drink water

DulcetMoans · 01/11/2014 12:20

I thought it was mainly for helping increase CM which is why it was taken before ov - didn't think there was a problem with keep taking it.

I'm having pizza for tea now, you are all bad influences!

jellypi3 · 01/11/2014 12:22

Oh gosh I've been taking EPO for about a month or so now!

Leela5 · 01/11/2014 12:27

Hmm I've never heard of this problem thing and dr didn't blink when I said I'd been taking it. I am thinking about ditching it anyway though because drinking water does same job

Leela5 · 01/11/2014 12:28

Is dulcet doing new Fred? I was half asleep last night so can't remember

Leela5 · 01/11/2014 12:29

If you would rather not dulcet (we would completely understand!) then just say x

mountaingirl01 · 01/11/2014 12:33

Depends on who you talk to but no real problem with taking epo throughout, I just can't be bothered with extra pills once it's done it's job. Glad it's not just me still in bed

wilmabedrock · 01/11/2014 12:36

Feel free to ignore but I think you're supposed to stop EPO after ovulation because it can cause the uterus to contract which you don't really want if you're upduffed. Not sure how much it would actually cause a problem - may just be theoretical. I think you can take something else instead (flax oil maybe?? Confused ).

Backs out of thread and pretends not to be lurking.

Leela5 · 01/11/2014 12:37

Hooray for the medical knowledge on the thread! Thanks mountain!

I'm still in bed but now I have coffee and a cat

Leela5 · 01/11/2014 12:38

X-posted - ha ha! Miss you wil, hope monk wil ok? Don't lurk, speak to is from time to time x

Leela5 · 01/11/2014 12:38

Damn - 'mini wil' not monk

DulcetMoans · 01/11/2014 13:00

I don't mind doing it but I am asda bound so not sure if you will still have any space by the time im back! Do we have title recommendations? (Again, don't wait for me! We need somewhere to go!)

wilmabedrock · 01/11/2014 13:06

Haha she is a wee monkey so it probably fits her. Truth be told, I find it hard to keep up with this thread. It's ok on lazy weekend days but get lost when I'm working. Damn work getting in the way of everything. Envy

Currently working my way through the massive pile of leftover halloween sweets Grin .

Leela5 · 01/11/2014 13:09

Ok do any of the other newly upduffed want to do it? bother? wiggly? Who've I forgotten...there were more surely?

wilmabedrock · 01/11/2014 13:10

Wasn't there some talk of soothing/comfort wanks at some point in the thread? Got to be worth a mention.

Leela5 · 01/11/2014 13:10

rm! Knew I forgot people...

TinkerBlue · 01/11/2014 13:24

Ha ha, yes - soothing wanks and 13month pregnancies spring to mind lol!

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