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The Truth about Um Bongo, Broken Penises and Sad Fleas - it's all here, just don't talk about the Elephant in the Womb! Pee on Nigel Farage (or in a Thermos), and Join the Bonkers Bonkers for JS 30!

999 replies

ChatEnOeuf · 15/10/2014 18:02

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.


JSing lingo
~~~~~~~~~

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development!

The link to Part 29 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here

Happy shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
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lildottie · 01/11/2014 16:44

1

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lildottie · 01/11/2014 16:44

2

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lildottie · 01/11/2014 16:44

3

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lildottie · 01/11/2014 16:44

4 to go. I'm watching a crimbo film!

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lildottie · 01/11/2014 16:43

lol. yeah I'm a glutten for punishment. not sure why I started this qualification! still at least pass rate is only 50%!!

we had chicken red onion and double mushroom on deep pan from asda. mmm
no idea what to have tonight tho. maybe sm indian

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RPopz · 01/11/2014 16:42

Ha!!

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DulcetMoans · 01/11/2014 16:39

Yeah, I can't help with that lil, sorry! I did do GCSE maths twice, so I'm double qualified... Wink

Mine has BBQ sauce, hickory steak and bacon. If they don't have those things im out!

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RPopz · 01/11/2014 16:31

OMG... I need a pizza now... Shock

Lil I have no idea what any of those things are... but I'm quite good at making tea and playing with highlighters if that's any good... Wink

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RPopz · 01/11/2014 16:28

Asda deep pan American Hot.... Grin

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wilmabedrock · 01/11/2014 16:26

Hahaha love that the thread has gone silent after that list Lil. I mean of course I would help you, but I have to uhm... paint my nails. That all sounds very complicated.

So recommendations for the pizzas? We always just get some chicken thing that is like the ones they make up anyway. What's good?

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lildottie · 01/11/2014 16:13

taxation of individuals including...

share schemes
pensions
eis/seis/vct reliefs
statutory residence tests
remittance basis for non residents
capital gains tax
employment benefits and expenses

and that is a simplified list! lol

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DulcetMoans · 01/11/2014 16:10

I love em lil, but they have to be a treat. Mine is far superior to DH! Wink

Can we help you revise? What do we need to know?!

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lildottie · 01/11/2014 16:05

dulcet we had asda cyo pizza last night. so bloody cheap!

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lildottie · 01/11/2014 16:05

fill it up! have done Fa revision today. exam Tuesday. oops

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DulcetMoans · 01/11/2014 15:58

I can fill it up with things I bought at asda if you like! Spinach, broccoli, milk, sour cream, eggs, bread... Etc etc! Oh, and my make your own pizza. Yummmmmm!!!

We snuck in the pet shop too, like a free zoo!

I'm not even going over to new Fred until this ones full, saving it for a treat!

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Leela5 · 01/11/2014 15:27

Fill up dee thread, fill up dee thread

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Leela5 · 01/11/2014 14:54

New Fred is HERE!

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lildottie · 01/11/2014 14:35

la put stats on 1st post not title

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Leela5 · 01/11/2014 14:27

Ok I'm on it - just copying stats jeeeeeez this is going to be a long Fred title...

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Leela5 · 01/11/2014 14:26

dulcet please can I have a packet of Milkybar Buttons and a bag of pickled onion monster munch.

I'd also like some wine but can't as I'm twotting

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DulcetMoans · 01/11/2014 14:25

If you're feeling creative la, go for it!

Anyone want anything from the shops? There must be an order for chocolate in here somewhere. I'm going for chocolate buttons myself! Smile

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Leela5 · 01/11/2014 14:21

Will I just do it? We're running out of space and I'm on PC?

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lildottie · 01/11/2014 13:28

oh and broken banjo something?

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lildottie · 01/11/2014 13:27

surely the Scots in York are worth a mention as they bought bfp luck to dulcet

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TinkerBlue · 01/11/2014 13:24

Ha ha, yes - soothing wanks and 13month pregnancies spring to mind lol!

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