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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The Truth about Um Bongo, Broken Penises and Sad Fleas - it's all here, just don't talk about the Elephant in the Womb! Pee on Nigel Farage (or in a Thermos), and Join the Bonkers Bonkers for JS 30!

999 replies

ChatEnOeuf · 15/10/2014 18:02

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development!

The link to Part 29 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2198677-Jizz-in-your-eyes-raining-out-of-your-arse-or-just-feeling-boggin-Come-and-join-the-JSers-for-fun-and-frolics-And-some-of-them-drooling-over-Ian-McShane-whoever-he-may-be-Its-Just-Shagging-29" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2202292-Just-Shagging-Grads-thread-No-13-for-upduffed-viroids" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
mountaingirl01 · 31/10/2014 16:01

Ah noniks me too- usually I'm fine in the first week, but this time it's been loonng! Another announcement at work today. Grinning and bearing and eating my body weight in flapjacks

Leela5 · 31/10/2014 16:28

:( sorry honey that's poo. She's so rude.

dulcet are you doing new Fred honours?

honeysucklejasmine · 31/10/2014 16:40

I think its AF. Very odd to pre-mc me as it is so light, but post-mc me has a very light first day.

Just cried on my mother in law and bought some epo. (side note... At first i thought people were talking about erythropoetien that cyclists dope with, but the check out said epo when i scanned evening primrose oil and it all made sense.)

KatoPotato · 31/10/2014 16:41

Ahhh! Dulcet!! I'm delighted!

GFX (ginger fingers crossed - I've been eating wotsits...) for a happy and healthy next few months!!

TinkerBlue · 31/10/2014 16:47

Feeling for you twotters, it's the worst. Hope you have busy weekends la mountain noniks kh jelly and everyone I know I've missed but can't flipping scroll back! I have everything crossed for a bumper week next week!! Halloween Shock

kh that's lovely about the bedtime snuggles. I am a weirdo that struggles with physical contact so poor Mr.tink has had to get used to a lack of spooning Sad

chat sorry, I thought you were counting down til 12 week scan, not gynae app. I'm sure you'll get through to the 14th without too much need for poas. Hope all is well x

honey have a lovely meal out. Dh took me out first night of af this week and it really helped take my mind off it.

I hope we have room for another bfp on this Fred but I guess it's looking doubtful the way we can chat! Trying to tot up and it seems another good one. Rm chat wiggly dulcet I think that's it, forgive me if I've missed anyone but it seems to have blurred into the last Fred in my stupid brain!!

indigo hope you had a lovely birthday x

Happy Halloween everyone xxx

lildottie · 31/10/2014 16:57

hi all. another high temp today so think I'm joining you twotters.

honey Wine

dulcet good on you for calling drs.

indigo happy birthday!

chat have you got any opks? they could fill the void between 9ics and 14th Nov. they are supposed to give a pos for pg too I think.

time to eat pizza and veg out. oh and hide from the trick or treater's! Grin

Indigoblue2 · 31/10/2014 16:58

honey nooooo! Man down! How shitty is that. Sorry Hmm

I am pretty certain I'm going to follow suit. I've had two BFNs this week (ok one was ridiculously early) and I can feel AF coming on.

I followed your link to the cheap IC sticks on amazon and bought them and also 30 OPK ones (what does IC stand for?), plus a thermometre. I'm also planning Preseed/conceive plus, even though we have never used lube before. Plus maybe some conception vitamins for mr Indigo.

mountain you are a bad ass. That's way too early!

la GX, what have symptoms been like today?

tink thanks! I've been working but had a super day Thanks

BothersomeB · 31/10/2014 17:05

And me Tink (waves BFP - not that I carry it everywhere with me - no,not me).

WigglyBraddins · 31/10/2014 17:09

Happy Halloween indeed tink Halloween Smile

honey I thought the same thing about EPO! DH is big into cycling and has read lots of books about Lance Armstrong & I asked him lots of pointed & unexplained questions about how easy it was to get now & what the fertility implications were. Oh dear!

TinkerBlue · 31/10/2014 17:22

Sorry bother FIVE!! That's great going, can you post me that bfp stick for next month please?? Mine all seem to be broken and only show 1 line!! Must write to first response Wink

TinkerBlue · 31/10/2014 17:23

Btw lil we have pizza here too!! That stone can wait til next week right? Grin

Indigoblue2 · 31/10/2014 17:32

tink I've got the same problem. They must be faulty. Stupid things.

BothersomeB · 31/10/2014 18:07

Ha tink - I have several so could probably spare a few! Mr b and I did have a very odd conversation the other day about whether you could sell bfp sticks to women trying to get one over on their blokes. Does that make us nutters?

Leela5 · 31/10/2014 18:16

chat and dulcet that's fab you've sorted your dr appointments! I cannot give anyone advice about POAS frequency after bfp coz I POAS every 2 days after mine just to check it was there!

jelly I'm confused how are you 3dpo if you don't know whether you iced?

kh hugging very sweet! But yes very hot...

Love that Ian mcshane is a fertility omen! We should write and tell him Grin

mountain. too early! Tsk tsk! Hooyah!

indigo have a fab birthday! Ic = internet cheapie Smile

Am just about to get dolled up to go work at the bar. Going as a broken doll so literally dolled up! Can't wait it'll be fun! Hate Halloween hence I offered to work.

Stabby boob stabby boob stabby fanjo stabby boob.

Worms have taken a hike hooray!

New Fred??

TinkerBlue · 31/10/2014 18:30

Is it right that one of the famous five should take on the job?

DulcetMoans · 31/10/2014 18:45

Only every 2 days la?! Those IC let me do it every morning! costume sounds awesome, still no idea what I am going as! Will it be a long shift?

Yay for TWOT (in a way) lil! At least you can calm down on the shagging. Hoping its a short wait for you.

So sorry you are feeling so sad honey, it's a tough time. Hope you're MIL is supportive?

IC = Internet cheapies indigo. We are a stingy bunch!

Lady at work have me catnip today. Odd gift, right? Two cutie trick or treaters so far, luckily I have lollies in the house.

Not sure I can start the next fred, too scared... I was in the flurry of BFPs the first time too. Bad thoughts.

honeysucklejasmine · 31/10/2014 19:54

Cheers ladies. Had a nice evening out. Now to get off my face on white zinfandel. Woooo! Thank you all so much for your support. [Hugs]

My PIL are lovely so I'm super lucky I know. Smile

Wiggly in to cycling? Never would have guessed! Wink (glad it wasn't just me! Blush )

Dulcet no pressure I'd you don't want to. Could look on it as a new beginning. This thread turned in to a talisman for Chat, after all. But you've got to do what you are comfortable with. Smile

gaggiagirl · 31/10/2014 20:02

[]dulcet speaking of odd gifts my exdp (dds dad) bought me some lavender fabric conditioner as a gift after my mc. Then he said it was going to be cheesecake but he wasn't sure!

jellypi3 · 31/10/2014 21:36

la that's only according to Fertility Friend which assumes I have normal cycles...more fool that app! ;)

Just spend a few hours baby sitting my godson :) he's 7 months old and soooo gorgeous! Got lots of snuggles :)

cookielove · 31/10/2014 21:45

honey how odd that you were watching the little princess I watched that scene when I was up feeding ds in the wee hours!

honeysucklejasmine · 31/10/2014 21:48

Ha ha Cookie! It gets me every time! [tears]

Should we do our stats again for the new thread? We forgot last time!

Name: Honey
Age: 28
TTC: Since Aug 14, MC Sept 14
DC: 2 feline fur babies

lildottie · 31/10/2014 21:54

dulcet I don't want to calm down on the shagging! lol. actually feel a bit Sad. that I'm in twot. its my last one this year. next one will be end of Jan. feels like ages away. feel a bit sad we have come to this and haven't managed a bfp the old fashioned way. I know we could have done it this cycle but the odds are rather against us on that!

la costume sounds good. we have been hiding with all the lights off to avoid trick n treater's!

cookie have you got used to typing "D's" yet Wink

lildottie · 31/10/2014 21:54

good idea honey

name: lil
age: 29
ttc: since Nov 12 Sad
dcs: none

Indigoblue2 · 31/10/2014 22:00

Name: Indigo
Age: 29
TTC: July 2014
DCs: None

*Honey our stats are pretty similar and if it had been yesterday then age would have been too!

honeysucklejasmine · 31/10/2014 22:03

Lol Indigo! Sorry, if i wasn't so self involved lately i would have said happy birthday! WinkBlush

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