Come one, come all, the Jason Doner-Van is open for business! Don your disco pants, brandish your rim brush and get on it! Its Just Shagging part 24! Can we beat 23's BFP hat trick, flange wankers?!

[RPopz]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 23 is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2063821-Hell-no-Aunt-Flo-You-cant-park-that-red-convertible-here-This-space-is-reserved-Turn-on-tune-in-and-cop-off-Its-Just-Shagging-part-23?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

Woop woop Wil good line!

Haha, loving the theory about smear tests. Mine is due in a few months maybe I should book in early!

Morning viroids!

I think I'm due a smear test...hmm...

lil I totally know where you're coming from as we were putting off for various reasons, mostly money. You'll know when you feel ready - remember though that although you feel like you'll be judged for getting pg. quickly after starting in the grand scheme of things a year is not actually a long time to be off. You'll be back before you know it. I do sympathise - I think that's why we didn't really put much effort in last summer when we started Ttc, I'd just been promoted

Hello Shaggers,

Just wanted to pop in and say hi to thyself who remember me Cookie, Minion and others. Cookie- congrats on your pregnancy! So pleased after everything you went through.

I had my first egg collection after first round if IVF yesterday and sadly there were no eggs. So having to pick ourselves up and start again. I started a post about it on the main threads if anyone wants to find out about it in more detail. I'm quite gutted, but there we go. That's life sometimes. Hope you're all well and get your BFPs soon.

Thyself??? I mean 'those'. Back with those old typos again!

Hi Lil - just saw your name on here!

Bear!! Good to see you.
Really sorry that the cycle didn't work out I'll find your thread and have a read. Hope you're ok otherwise! Xx

Wil that's amazing! I'm mega happy for you, that there is a line indeed!

Dreaded 2ww now... Bahh

I know you bear! Sorry to hear the IVF has had a bit of a false start. Hope you are being kind to yourself. Fx for next time.

lil - don't lose heart. Get those knickers down and legs up - just get it done!

Hi Nessa and Dulcet. How are you both getting on?

Thanks everyone, I am attempting to be very Zen about the whole affair! The clock is moving very slowly today and I'm feeling a bit lazy.

Enjoy your holiday Zyla! Mega jealous.

Smear tests all round girls. Maybe we could organise a party night where we book a nurse to come round and everyone can get done at the same time! Probably less painful than attending an Anne Summers party . Somebody could source some new ROCs to sell instead of Tupperware. I'm off to Dragon's Den with this idea.

Good thanks Bear Im upduffed! 15 weeks. Bean is determined to give me a hard time though, just had two days of scary bleeding which has rather freaked me out! Been thoroughly checked over again today and everything looks fine though thank goodness.

Good luck with that idea Wil - not too sure it'll be a winner though! Ahm out!

That's great news Nessa! glad you're feeling better after your scare. X

Hey bear nice to meet you! Sorry to hear that it didn't work, fx for you xx

I'm officially 1 day late, no sign of witch - yesterday's cramps have gone . Evil minx

Hi Lala and thanks. Good luck to you- sounds promising!

Humph , I'll have to think of another way to make my millions then.
POAS Lala?

Hi hi bear lovely to hear from you, sorry it's not going so well, come back to us for lots of insane and inane jibber jabber, we miss you x

wil how many days late were u before bfp? Am very impressed at your restraint not POAS again today!!

Feel very sick today but this most like the fault of cake rather than any sproglet!

Legs Akimbo enterprises? The party where you get to put your feet up?

Can I play?
Chat
Age: 32
DC: DD (2.8)
TTC: Dec 2013, MC March '14

Matters complicated by excessive numbers of night shifts, a toddler with a knack for waking up as soon as the merest DTD thought passes a mind and a DH working overseas, returning only to cover the childcare over aforementioned night shifts! Congratulations to the positive ones, hope to join you soon.

I am also upduffed by some miracle bear. Just 6 weeks here though so being cautious.

POAS in the morning Lala? Late is good!

That's quite some party Kato, is there a password to get in?!

Love the name chat!!!!

'Its my party and I'll shag if I want to'?

Speculumus spectaculo!

Speculumio openus spectacularis!

My replies keep disappearing, so annoying. Aha! I knew my parties would catch on. We could go into business Kato, Lala you'll need to move back home so you can help too.

Hi Chat. Ignore my slightly bonkers chat today. Your ttc stats are exactly the same as mine. Which means you should be getting a BFP right about now! Just to prepare you.