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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Whether icing, twotting, or in need of a dip in the pity paddling pool, come stroke the friendly orange cave unicorn with us. (Chocolate pretzels are on the house). It's JUST SHAGGING THREAD 17!

999 replies

EssieSaysRelax · 26/07/2013 22:14

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce Envy in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 16 is here

The link to the latest grads thread is here

Happy shagging shaggers!

OP posts:
Redshoes56 · 27/08/2013 03:54

Sorry about AF, essie :(

curly - Oh my! Men.

You truly are a great friend, broody!

We should all have in our repertoire witty comments so we have some quick retorts to dumb and insensitive questions about why we're not pregnant. Such as, "No, I like sushi too much" or "I'll stick with my cat, he doesn't have to go to college!"

ZingWantsCake · 27/08/2013 07:44

curly my FIL recently said that women should do all housework because they enjoy it! Grin I laughed in his face and told him to not mention this to any radical feminists lest he be shred to pieces!
(he is lovely normally, but @ 82 he has odd ideas)
I'm guessing your FIL to be is of the same generation (at least mentally).
sorry your OH was a blabber mouth..

essieSad Thanks are you ok?

EssieSaysRelax · 27/08/2013 09:47

curly oh my word, what a thing to say, you must have cringed big time!

Thanks lovely people. I'm ok. Bit peed off but more that my cycle clearly is still all over the place and we're onto no 10 now. Somehow reaching double figures seems worse!

We were away with a load of friends at the weekend and at one point I ended up pushing a buggy, one of the girls tried to take a pic as she thought it needed to go on facebook as apparently 'everyone would want to see it'. I told her to FO. Needless to say she didn't take the picture! I was seething.

Sorry - rant over I promise. This whole being crap at ttc would be so much easier if there weren't idiots like that around every corner wouldn't it!

OP posts:
fifi669 · 27/08/2013 11:36

Ok I'm just going to admit it, I have def got cramps now and I feel absolutely miserable. I'm sat at work, I can't think of anything else and I just want to cry.

I know I'm being insensitive when people have been trying longer and I already have DS, I'd just convinced myself this was going to be our month Sad.

Space for a small one in the pity pool?

EssieSaysRelax · 27/08/2013 12:54

oh poor fifi, yes, come on in, there's tons of space in the pool and I've just ordered a jug of pimms too. Hope you are ok. xx

OP posts:
fifi669 · 27/08/2013 13:07

I've managed about half hours work all morning! Not sure what I'll write on my time sheet, not sure they have a code for pity pool antics!

Think tonight I'll just cuddle up with DP and we'll have a sulk. He's gutted too. AF due Friday.... Sigh.

Hope all you other TWOTTers are having more joy.

pizzaqueen · 27/08/2013 16:58

ah fifi but af isn't here yet. every month I convince myself it's our month Sad we dtd at the right time so think I must be upduffed. it's tough, jump in the pity pool and have a glass bottle of wine.

pizzaqueen · 27/08/2013 17:24

tmi alert - does anyone not get ewcm? I think I might have ov already but its only been watery not ew. Same last month. I have been using opks but not religiously so I might have missed it I'm cd14 but think I ov'd last month cd18 Hmm

lil1ady · 27/08/2013 18:16

sorry pizza I get buckets of ewcm as soon as AF finishes. sorry, tmi!

Essie sorry she got you. I take it you were good and just jsing this month? have a Wine and some Thanks

Fifi try not to be down. I know its hard but its true, its not over yet. go and stroke the


Smile
//..\
maybe he will bring you some twotting luck.

as for me 4dpo and I have been hooya'ing myself all day! this is the first month I really feel "this is our month" so I've probably cursed it

fifi669 · 27/08/2013 18:59

lil the fat lady may not be singing but she's clearing her throat! We both separately felt like this was going to be our month (we may have convinced ourselves it was pratically definite)....and I had a dream last night I was upduffed... Not looking likely.

Had a little cry on DP when I got in, big hugs, going to settle down with a whole tin of celebrations and Doritos and dip as a pick me up.

I don't think I have abundant EWCM.... Maybe I should get some preseed

Bearfacedchic · 27/08/2013 19:01

Pizza- I get ewcm but only around the time of ov. I do get loads of other pang snot but it isn't ewcm as it's either too watery or too creamy (tmi- soz) but it's worth looking it up online if you're not sure of the difference. (Sorry if you are aware- dont mean to be patronising.)

I'm sorry Fifi. Sad it's really hard, but I'm sure you'll get there. How long have you been Ttc for now?

Essie- how flipping annoying. People can be so thick insensitive.

I'm definitely icing today. Grin (Tmi alert!) I had the longest, stringiest ewcm that I've ever had. Ewww but hoping that means that it will create a rope ladder of sorts for the sperm to climb up! Just need to get DH in the sack now. I always imagine it being like in Super Mario when you're trying to get to the next level and you have to climb a wall or something but you keep falling off just as you almost get to the top and through the door. Frustrating! But you keep returning ever hopeful. Thanks to everyone struggling today.

pizzaqueen · 27/08/2013 19:04

oh I'm jealous of the doritos and chocs!

So is the ewcm just when you dtd or all the time? Blush im clueless.

lil1ady · 27/08/2013 19:18

pizza I find mine is more obvious around tea time. no idea why but that's usually when I notice it. tmi alert, after a bowel movement. apparently it gets pushed out from that so maybe that's the time to have a feel around and see what's going on up there. I don't think it's a problem not to have ewcm. watery cm is just as fertile. I downloaded a free kindle book about fertility signs. might be worth a read www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B007IVNABU/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1377627441&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX110_SY165
hope that works.

Fifi enjoy Ur binge! I'm v jealous!Envy

Bearfacedchic · 27/08/2013 19:20

Right, sorry everyone else- prepare for grimness. Mine is usually at other times Pizza. Just walking about or sitting down and I can feel it coming out. I sometimes have to change knickers Shock because there's too much! I mainly get it when, er, doing a poo, as the muscles you use to poo also operate the muscles in the fanjo so it will push stuff out. I hardly ever get it when dtd. I guess it's okay though because it's up inside and its job is to keep the sperm alive and help them swim up towards the Fallopian tubes.

Bearfacedchic · 27/08/2013 19:22

Sorry for x-post lil. Good on you for the book.

pizzaqueen · 27/08/2013 19:41

bear and lil1ady thanks for sharing. I don't think I'm gettibg the ewcm sounds like I'd know about it, just a bit wattery. Hmm. Suppose that's ok as long as I am icing.

lil1ady · 27/08/2013 20:28

yes pizza watery is fine and as long as Ur icing that's the main thing. a mans ejaculate is like ewcm...its designed to do the same thing and protect them whilst they get to where they need to be. try not to worry too much.

bear glad its not just me!

Bearfacedchic · 27/08/2013 20:31

I think it's different for everyone though Pizza. I read that some women just get a bit- blink and you miss it kinda thing. Plus not trying to worry you, but even healthy fertile women don't necessarily ovulate every month. It's quite normal. So if you didn't ov you may not get ewcm.

AuntieMaggie · 27/08/2013 20:33

pizza i got ewcm last month but not this month... unless I missed it...

I started bleeding today... well not so much bleeding but red blood clots... completely confused as last month it was pure liquid blood and this month the opposite. But my ov pain was less this month too. Why does this have to be some complicated?

lil1ady · 27/08/2013 20:37

Maggie Thanks

imagine if the men had to deal with all thisHmm

AuntieMaggie · 27/08/2013 20:44

Thanks lil.

I know... on top of keeping on top of a house, career etc it hurts my brain trying to keep up with this too!

ZingWantsCake · 27/08/2013 22:06

bear it's exactly like that

Grin @ at image of Mario sperm with bushy moustache!

fifi669 · 27/08/2013 22:11

bear this was cycle 5 so not for that long but feels forever. I know how shite this must sound to you when you've been trying so long.

Feeling a bit better now I'm stuffed with chocolate :)