Whether icing, twotting, or in need of a dip in the pity paddling pool, come stroke the friendly orange cave unicorn with us. (Chocolate pretzels are on the house). It's JUST SHAGGING THREAD 17!

[EssieSaysRelax]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 16 is here

The link to the latest grads thread is here

Happy shagging shaggers!

bear I am sending you baby glitter and all sort of fertility vibes so get shagging woman!

ERTD arrived today with a vengeance, just in time for a visit with my friend who just delivered her FOURTH kid. I don't mean to be snarky, but she has made some poor life choices and can barely handle the three she already had, yet here's another. She asked me today, "So when are you having a baby?" All I could muster was, "Well, we can't all be as fertile as you!" She laughed, but I wasn't really laughing with her .

Shag on, bear and quark and everyone else who is still focused on wearing the cape and not when they next get to pee on something

Oh we've done our deed for today Zing.

Actually, zing I thought you might be interested that I mentioned on another thread that when I was in Italy it was San Rocco day (St. Rocco) and the people there all celebrate it with processions and stuff, but they also have altars in all the churches dedicated to him. The people then make wax models of the parts of the body they want healed, so I saw arms and legs, hearts, lungs, breasts, even babies and babies with legs missing which was rather heartbreaking. I didn't see any ovaries, but I'm sure they make them. It was like a grotesque butchers! But it obviously meant everything to the people there. So anyway, I thought about making some testicles out of wax and hanging them up, but couldn't find any wax! Just thought it might interest you . . .

red you poor love.
that's just awful timing. and reminded me of the smug marrieds in Bridget Jones.

Disclaimer : I do not randomly pee on things!

bear that is fascinating and gross at the same time.
also very artistic!

glad you're shagged out, fx for you!

Red- sorry about Ertd and about your friend. It's irritating, but you handled if well, I think. It's so hard not to judge other people. My mum said to me in the last few days that the 'cut-off' for having children is 30 . She's not very up to date and as we know has had ishoos so I'll let her off, but talk about feeling deflated. After comments like that it's hard not to judge other people because it just seems so unfair. In my plan is have been on baby number 2 by now. . .

*I'd have been

bear I feel your pain.

not that long ago if you weren't married with at least one baby by 25 you were a failure. in Hungary anyway.
so it did not look good for me to be single at the age of 23 - which is when I came to England.
met DH fairly soon after and we were engaged when I turned 25 so although I didn't quite make it, we are alright now!

Having just got married, we keep getting 'it'll be you next' or 'babies for you now then?!' I don't know if it's because they can't think of anything else to say but it just feels really insensitive!

My best friend had a 4d scan last week and I went along, but that was so hard, I got home & cried to DH :( and then she wanted to go shopping for baby bits so we went, but I just found myself dreaming, and almost burst into tears in the middle of the supermarket! Having said that, i'd rather be involved than it be awkward with her, it's not her fault, iyswim?

My parents keep jokingly asking when we're going to have babies- I think if we tell them we're ttc they'll back off, but DH reckons they'll be worse... What have you all found?

Miscalculated! If I'm in a 30 day cycle like last 2 months, ERTD should be here the 30th, so I'm free to test from today onwards. However past experience tells me to hold fire until the breadsticks stop hurting then I know she's on her vengeful way.
In other news husband surprised me with a trip to chatsworth house yesterday, so he got a big old treat last night. Now he's taking me shopping...nice! Plus he had a dream we had a little girl last night.. Wishful thinking... Have a fun bank holly Monday girls. X

broody

you are an amazing friend! I'm not sure if I could do the shopping bit and I can see why it woul upset you!

how long have you been TTC?

broody hugs. I know what u mean about the "it'll be u next" type comments. my mum has moved into "if having a family is in the plans" I did finally say to her the other day "we r trying, it doesn't just happen over night" and I got no reaction. it was like she didn't hear me. I guess the test now will be to see if she makes any more comments.

really hard to go shopping with Ur friend tho. I'm not sure I could get thru that. u r a good person

min if Ur due 30th what r u basing being free to test from today on? I'm intrigued to know how I can jusrltify early testing to myself

Ahh thanks Zing and lil I know that she'd do the same for me, and I tried not to let on how I was feeling! I'm so excited for them as I know they were ttc for quite a while so trying to focus on that!

In the grand scheme of things, we've not been trying for very long (6 months or so) but it feels like forever already! A lot of our friends have babies, my other best friend fell pg on the first cycle, and others have had happy accidents so didn't even need to try!

I know it will be our turn eventually!

may have caved and POAS despite only being 7dpo....

mini hooya Fifi? I'm guessing at a bfn?

Yes a bfn, I'm so impatient!

lil I'd use one of those early test things if I needed to. However, I really don't want to. So I'm hanging on for a while..
Very excited ladies, after traipsing round town this arvo trying to find me something for my birthday we came home with BBQ food. Made all the better when husband came in to wake me up from my nap he's told me he's moved our trip to NYC up 6 months, we're now going the week before Xmas,,, it's on my bucket list that one so I am over the moon x

is it your birthday then today minion?

hooya to trip!

Oops, no, it's next month. Just I'm quite hard to buy for apparently x

Hi everyone. I'm out of the synchro-pee. Just got back from weekend away and ertd welcomed me home. stooopid body! Keeping fx for everyone peeing/shagging/twotting this week though. X

Boooo essie! Stupid AF

Got a bit down, thought I could feel cramps coming on.... I just needed a poo. Phew!

for you Ess. Sorry this wasn't your month.

Fifi- lucky escape, ha? Thank goodness for the poo!

CD11 no contraband used :-) very proud of myself however no sex either! We've gone to Scotland to see the in laws 2 be (set no 2 as OH parents divorced and both remarried) OH has spent the best part of 3 days in the pub! Has told his dad were TTC who saw us off to bed last night with a "give her one to make me proud son" leaving tomorrow so plan to give OH silent treatment in the car; have missed my fur babies though they don't come to bed smelling of beer and snore in my face :-/

Curly- men can be so annoying and useless! Grrr at FIL's comment. Hope you manage to salvage the shagging somehow and have a decent remainder of your hols.

We still have a couple weeks off work so should have time to dtd at all hours lol all is not lost if I'm on a 40 day cycle OV should happen at CD 25 so I've got plenty of time to start storing all the lovely sperms :-)