Out with the OPKs, ban the body temping; here's Just Shagging thread 14!

[Rockchick1984]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly opk's or temp charting. They are Contraband

The link to Part 13 is here

The link to the latest grads thread is here

Happy shagging shaggers

oooh, btw, if contraband is right, then I'm ovving on CD 18 of a 27 day cycle. Which is a bit weird and just shows how useless the apps can be I guess.

Essie that's the same as my cycle! I was worried that my literal phase was too short and any beans wouldn't have time to implant but that obviously wasn't the case for me - hopefully the same for you :)

I'd forgotten about those porno names - mine's Hercules Hanks which is fab for a bloke but not very feminine

I like my porno name, but I also like being Humphrey.

I am also amused at rock's 'literal phase' being too short .

Not even slightly amused at bear's experiences with fertility clinic - that is utterly shit. You poor love - I'm sorry. It makes me rageous on your behalf.

Night Viroids! May the cape of shag be with you even in sleep.

My porn name would be BR Gracie

DH has sustained a groin strain at squash, he can hardly walk let alone shag. Utterly crap!

However, if my 'literal phase ' is indeed 9-10 days consistently like yours Rock, then it means next ov falls slap bang in the middle of our week of sunshine in June which could be good!

stupid autocorrect - been TTC since September, you'd think my phone would speak Shagging by now!!!!

bear WHAT? It's the wummin' folk that get investigated?
Where's the equal opportunities in that? It takes 2 to tango so therefore both parties should be treat the same. Grrrr.

Shag cape re upholstered, donned and put to some good use, not OV'ing till next week but one is feeling a tad randy! Yay!

In other news, I didn't get the job, was a bit gutted but I think fate has stepped in as OH has maybe been offered a job 'darn sarf' and if it becomes permanent, may have to join him and id feel bad leaving a new role so soon (not to mention getting upduffed too). So maybe it's meant to be?
still think I'd be the best for the role though

The Fred has moved fast since I've been AWOL so apologies if I've missed something pertinent up Fred.
So viroids, whose testing next? X

ertd is due on 17th. doubt I'll be testing as this month was sparse on theActon thanks to all the drama in the coffee household during the important time...

Hello all.

I have recovered from my fall, its quite a heroic story if i do say myself was walking across the room to comfort a baby and had a two month baby in my arms, i stepped into one of those plastic framed activity toys for babies found myself unable to walk (cause of the pain and the plastic lump on my foot) stumbled forward fell down onto my knees and with my free arm caught myself on a bunch of toys on the floor the baby in my arms was fine, and i missed the little one on the floor. Work colleague came rushing over as i untangled myself

So thats what i did

Hows everyone else?

Well done, Cookie on saving the babies! Now you deserve one of your own as a reward! Seriously, hope you're okay now though. I trip over my very small feet all the time. DH always asks how I can walk with them. The answer is obvs with difficulty!

Thanks for the support guys. I guess my moan is just in principle really at the mo, but it just seems so weird, unfair and antiquated. Anyway hopefully it won't affect our treatment in any way.

Sorry I've forgotten what everyone said and now I can't scroll up. Errr. Hang on. Having a brain drain.

Minion- sorry you didn't get the job but like you said, it could be for the best. At least you might feel a bit freer to get preggers and move now if you need to.

Roar Humpty or should I say HumpyHumphrey ?

Coffee- we've missed out this month too, but you never know so hang in there and if not, better luck next month.

I did a POAS IC yesterday and got a Bfn but am not at all surprised! Now we've got our referral I really hope this will bring on the mythical BFP. Not being unrealistic at all . . .

Nearly the weekend folks. Trip to Ikea tomorrow God help me. I'll probably come back with a million nick knacks I don't need. No horse meatballs for me either.

Ps I've never had a pet so no porn name for me. How about Braface?

Hi everyone, cookie glad you are ok after your heroics!

I'm 99% sure I oved yesterday, it hurt, kind of like period pain but not as bad, but a bit bloated as well. Think thats the first time I've been aware of it, but then also the first and I promise the only time I've used contraband. At least I know something is happening! Feel more normal today though. Sadly didn't manage any JSing during the cruicial time as DH still in bits with his groin strain, which to be fair is quite bad as he is even pathetic going up and down the stairs. You'd think he'd want me to rub something on it, but no, it hurts too much. Bloody sport! All we've had in our house this week is Fergie and groin strains. Snore.

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend and fx for everyone piar over the next few days. Still no b-band at home so I'll 'see' you on Monday! x

p.s I think Bear is a pretty good porn name anyway! :D

My porn name is Ollie Montgomery. I don't think I'd watch!

Bear that is total, utter crap. I just want to shake my first at the world some days.

Boobs and uterus achy today, but pink tinged CM indicates that it's just Aunt Flo dusting off the old broomstick, not a miracle baby working his or her way into my body. Pissy. Ollie Montgomery needs a drink.

Hi all,
first time I have had time to read through this thread all week.

Bear - I think the NHS goes through protocol when you get referred, so everyone has the same tests once they start at the clinic, no matter what the actual issue is. Doc said to me that if my progesterone indicates I haven't ovulated this month either, then I would go to the clinic but OH would also have to do a test. He, as you can imagine, was not best pleased at that news.

Coffee I sometimes feel like the fates are against us having a second child. This week, during what I think is my fertile time, we had rat dramas...more to follow

Humpty hope things are progressing nicely

Essie I get OV pain in a big way. That is how I figured my Literal Phase is up the creek as I get OV pain on day 18 and AF arrives on day 24/25. It's crapola.

Think this month is out for me as I stupidly listened to the doc who said I can't be ovulating that late on in the cycle as we apparently all have 14 day literal phases. I actually believed her so donned shag cape at the wrong time, and then got OV pain yesterday and plenty of pant snot...although I seem to get a lot of that and it goes on for ages so it's confusing.

Anyway, had tiring week discovering rat poo in my kitchen and a knawed cupboard. Totally freaked out, called pest control and had to clean EVERYTHING in the kitchen and living room. All of DS's toys etc etc. Pest control said he thinks he came in through the door when we had the nice weather and got trapped. Not had any signs of ratty mcfatty since but to be on the safe side I have moved everything out of the kitchen and am now sidestepping food processors and high chairs in the corridor.

Traps set, poison laid, chaos ensues. The joys of nature eh!?

Porn name...Snuffles Anderson if you please, joining you in a drink Ollie Montgomery....

Red Ollie Montgomery would be a sultry detective rather than a porn star!

Porn Name is Scrunchie Hesse i don't think it's gonna catch on

Totes i am not sure if it is the same with rats as it is with mice but the little rhyme i always remember about them is that 'its not where they nibble, it's where they dribble' they are incontinent and wee everywhere Hope you solve your rat problem soon!

Hope you all have a lovely weekend

Evening' all - just checking in to say hello and hope you're all doing well.
Saw GP today, who thought it was v funny I had come to see him so early. I'm now waiting for my 'booking-in' appt with midwife in about six hundred years five weeks' time.

They just don't understand do they humpty!! I saw mine at 5odd weeks and was gutted I had to wait till 8 weeks for booking in apt!

totes not everyone has a textbook 14-day ANYTHING. Ugh, why are doctors so misinformed? My luteal phase is 9, sometimes 10 days. Possibly an issue, possibly not - but I KNOW it isn't 14!

What a day here, discussing incontinent rats and my sultry detective show, Ollie Montgomery and the Mysterious Case of the Short Luteal Phase.

Oh no - I lost my message how annoying! And now it's too late to retype it all as I need to go to bed.

In short:

LOVE the porn names - keep them coming. I'm going for Cindy Bear/Bare, so I don't feel left out (I've stolen a friend's pet's name).

Thanks for the advice Totes. I know we need to start from scratch with both of us at the fertility clinic. I guess I'm just bemoaning the stupidity of the system is all.

Loads of people have shorter literal luteal phases. What is all this 'everyone must be the same malarkey?' Gah! It seems some doctors really don't know enough about in/fertility from what I've read on here and my own experiences.

Totes - I don't think I've formally said hi, so, errr, hi! Your ratty mcfatty story totally freaked me out. I've seen some humongous rats in my time (my folks live in the city and the rats there are big enough to take on the local alley cats and win!) I think reading James Herbert's 'The Rats' and '1984' at a young age did not really help matters. I am a scaredy cat when it comes to vermin. I got shivers just reading your post.

Humpy Humphrey - glad you got your appt with m/w.

What's everyone up to at the weekend?

We've got friends coming to stay and so I need to run round and tidy tomorrow. It's also back to the fitness DVD for me. Bum seems to have recovered thankfully. (Did I say I'd pulled a muscle in my bum?! Can't remember now . . .) Now I've changed phones I'm not sure what CD I'm on or where I'm up to with oving. This month has been a bit crackers.

Oh dear, this really wasn't 'in short' was it? Loser emoticon

Pah - there's even a thread called 'The Short Luteal Phase Gang' which I love because the names reminds me of the cartoon 'The Get-along Gag' from when I was wee

*Gang not Gag that's a whole other programme not for kiddy-winks

Ha ha - just found some of you on it (Rock and Totes) even bigger Loser emoticon for self

Hey gals.
Just catching up with this week's activities whilst I lament the extended stay of AF.
Totes Hope your rat has buggered off. shudder
Bear I think everyone gets investigated as a couple, even though it sounds sucky there are couples who both have issues and its quicker to investigate both together rather than do the process twice. It's ridiculous that it all goes in the woman's name though, and having the fertility clinic neighbouring the antenatal clinic is insane.
Cookie That fall sounded epic and heroic.

I've had an interesting week, ex-in-laws were over for ex-H's inquest (he very kindly committed suicide when I gave up being a punching bag) and came to visit my DCs. Most irritating for my DP as they're quite overbearing (and ofttimes rude). Thankfully they didn't stay here but were over two days in a row and weren't impressed when we wouldn't let the kids abandon the dinner table just because they'd arrived.
DP has gone to collect DSSs for the weekend and I now eagerly await what delightful things his ex has written in the contact book (heaven forbid she should actually enter into a conversation!)
I feel massively guilty that so many of you are trying for your first or second when DP and I have 4 between us but I also feel incredibly annoyed that we had those children so easily with people that in the end, didn't deserve them, but we can't have one together so easily. I've never "tried" until now and neither has he, it's frustrating.
Again, feel bad for venting to you all when I know I'm actually very lucky.