Aaaah Autumn...BESH style. Join the MAD and may your loins be fruitful.

[Ariesgirl]

Aaaah Autumn...

Season of jizz and menkul WOOFLing,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing ovaries;
Conspiring with him how to SWI and bless
With baybees the hags that round the thatch eves drink gin run.

Join with us in making this MAD season very fruitful indeed.

Weird truffkin as princessboobies wedding was about a week after i did my back in. Also doc told me that wearing my corset would probably help :o The diazepam did the trick for me pain wise but unfortunately they wouldn't give me more (bastards)

I have cunningly arranged it so that this month's SWI-WOO (window of opportunity) happens on holiday (yep, planned that) and around Mr Shoes' birthday. Surely a win is due, or at least a decent shag? I'd settle for a decent non-exhausted shag.

Byron also had a club foot, drank out of the skull of a monk he found in the grounds of Newstead Abbey (all the monks there killed themselves in the reign of Henry VIII) and was a bit incest-y.

Why am I not on Mastermind? Specialist topic: salacious gossip about historical figures.

Ooooh, Truffkin, I had some diazepam before my laparoscopy and it was bloody fabulous. Am sure you'd rather have none due to back being fine, obviously!!! That came out less concerned than I meant it to

Am v at your schoolboy lover fetching you whatever you like - last night, all I could face eating was chippy-chips but I was knackered and shaking with nausea and TYF wouldn't go get me any (chippy is literally 3 mins away) because we've got oven chips in the freezer. Why can't the monster understand they're NOT THE SAME?!

I'm v jealous of you regular cyclers. You can plan mini-breaks for the sexy time rather than fervently and furtively checking ffj every few minutes. Good planning though owlie - hoping for a win for you

Beeping rusty fucktard was two days early. What is going on with my cycle? Hope it is the moon and not my ovaries chucking out all the old crusty rubbish eggs while I head for an early menopause.

Just in case you check in after your bath- fucksticks to the fucktard yourmajesty, seems like some of the BESH cycles are in sync now, too much time rolling chatting together in the hay loft together. Together. Here, Please use him up, we have spares.

Loving SWI WOO WiseOne and back stuff aside, we have nuthink at sll planned so am hoping for some serious action (or at the very least a sympathy shag due to my crippleness)

Scorps I have high hopes for these drucks then. I did have gas & air when the paramedics had to lift me, to take the edge off but it made my lips numb and I couldn't speak properly. This resulted in me telling said paramedic that "my nips are lump" . TGB has very much enjoyed that anecdote.

Fuck me - glad I checked back in - RA dipped in toffee? Hallelujah! I may need to take another bath when I'm done with him...

If the drugs don't work (they just make you worse) Truffles then maybe try out the corset method ;)

Seriously, back pain is no fun I know, I hope you get better soon. On that note I will bid all you luscious Auntumnal wenches a bonne nuit. A demain.... xxxx

I am vvvvv about the double-droid hit today. It's truly a bunch of arse.

Truff, it's the good shit. I was v nervous before the op, which is why they offered me it. I went from 'I'mreallyworriedwhatifIdie?' to 'Ah fuggin LOVE you guysss' with an insane grin across my chops in a matter of seconds

scorps they must have given you the good stuff, the poxy 2 mg they will have given truffs will not have that effect unless she necks about 5 of them. Realise I sound a bit like a diazepam junky here, although did get quite a taste for them when we were traveling SE asia, (very useful for 14 hr coach journeys) I am NOT an addict.

Soz for droidage boo tis shite, hope toffee covered hottie (i have no idea who RA is) and a bath helped somewhat.

Oh HIM out of robin hood :swoon:

FAO AlspinePony- I know you'll be glad to know I'm currently lying with a pillow under my arse having been informed in no uncertain terms by the OM on coming in half an hour ago that a twelve hour night shift was no bar to a shag. I myself was looking forward to a cuppa and the morning headlines but whatevs . I'm so so so so so sorry about the fucking droids last night. More from me later when I'm not typing on a phone made in 1903.

So here you all are, and on page 4 already. Good going!

Heads respeck to the OM. Sounds like he's committed to the cause.

Truffs sending you some cheesecake to help speed your recovery.

Sorry to hear the droid has followed us over here, especially as the unwanted idiot has turned up early. GO AWAY DROID!

CD15 here and my temps are dropping so I am hoping that this is going to turn into a normal cycle and I might OV over the weekend. If so, I will be mightily impressed (more so if I actually end up getting diffed ). If things don't work this time then we will be off to the FC at the start of the next cycle anyhoo.

Well done that woman, HB. And you didn't even have to get arrested George Michael stylee.

Am going to have needles stuck in me today for first time ever to see if she can tweeze out an egg. MrG now away til Sat (although did IT last night) so hope it comes at a convenient time.

How is back this morning, Trufflecake? Hope better and does not impinge on the shagging action too much.

Scorps - make sure he gets you the chip shop chips in future. They were about all I could stomach when was diffed with miniG - oven chips just wouldn't have done it. That and pork pies - get some in.

banger That's beautiful. And, won't it be wonderful in years to come when you can sing Will Smith's "but if push comes to shove, you was conceived in love". Magical.

I am very suspicious about these 3 allegedly early droids... implantation anyone? Or is it simply body-fucking-with-you time?

salty I have a boy one with a willy and everyfink. I feel incredibly lucky because secretly I really wanted a boy. So after all the heartache and difficult life which led me to TTC at such an advanced age - I just feel blessed. :) Bit soppy eh?

Echoing three hundred and forty of your english pounds. For that it'd have to guarantee the orgasm of my life. With Derek Morgan from Criminal Minds.

What the fuck have they done with our pony? She's come over all soppy! I'm with you on the suspicious droids, actually. . . I seem to recall our own beloved Loz having some vay strange ovaltine type spotting before her storming FCFU. . .

I dunno banger - I am soppy when it's warranted! Having had such a struggle to conceive and an ikkle angel baybee - I just feel I couldn't have asked for any more and feel a little trepidation wrt trying for another - how could I possibly be so lucky as to win two?

Ah, to be sure, I know one of my sisters felt very similar. As if it were simply asking for too much of the gods. Diffed with her fourth now, so looks like it's by no means unallowed! So do you plan to begin the campaign anew at Christmas?

Yes, two more droids then back on the bike. And then 11 months of wailing.

Alpine it's good to be realistic, although from my, albeit limited, experience, TTC2 does not always bear any correlation to TTC1! E.g we got lucky 5th try with DC1. We're now coming up to a year with DC2. Friends of ours tried for 18 months for DC1, got diffed without trying for DC2. The only time I have seen any relationship between trying for DC1 and 2 is when people get PG first time. I have lots of friends that have diffulated first time for both (or second time for one friend but you get my point). So, try not to worry too much about TTC2 - you may find it works differently (easier)this next time round.

Good grief we are a tenth the way through this thread already! Impressive work BESH's.

I also have a corset with proper metal boning and everyfink, I reckon it could stop a bullet. It comes out once a year for Rocky Horror.

Sorry for the early droidage you are obviously all synching with each other in a mystical druid like fashion. My droid is a week late. This almost entirely due to injection FAIL of hormones so the first person to shout POAS gets the thrashing of their life.

I love Diazepam. Perhaps they could prescribe that to fertility challenged laydeez to help us relax? Would be more proactive than just telling us to do it.

Awww, we heart Mr HB

BB is it the evil gun drucks that have done it? If so that is very shit and annoying.

Boo the random droidage is what happens when one attempts to TTC. And lo, it doth suck mightily. LadyG I only booked the holibob about 2 weeks ago so I am hoping I have managed to book it for the sexy-time but due to recent bizarre cycleage we may yet discover that I have failed and we are inconveniently in Gatwick airport at the critical moment. Which would be a bit shit. I have decided that I cannot leave my darling CBFM behind as planned as I luff it too much and will go mental without the comfort of the bars to tell me WTF is going on.

Morning Haglets. Anyone for absinthe-soaked donuts? Fab new thread RieRie, can I have a go on Byron? Could do with a little pick me up - he'll have to be gentle on me though as I'm also suffering in the backular region. Not as bad as truffles though, poor thing.

Sorry for the all the early droidage. I could never figure out whether I was relieved to have no excuse to continue the 2woofl, or be fucking annoyed at my body pissing around.

Good work HB on this mornings SWI. Very impressive. Have you finished the last 20 pages? Can we have a little party to celebrate? Any excuse...

And more recently he's the lovely Lucas North in Spooks ravishingradishlady

Just popping on - going for an Autumnal stomp in the woods with Master Boo :)

I am going to have to start temping now aren't I if my droid is doing some time malfunction thing? Will do some research later. You are all on fertiity friend is that right?