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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Aaaah Autumn...BESH style. Join the MAD and may your loins be fruitful.

1000 replies

Ariesgirl · 05/10/2010 16:34

Aaaah Autumn...

Season of jizz and menkul WOOFLing,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing ovaries;
Conspiring with him how to SWI and bless
With baybees the hags that round the thatch eves drink gin run.

Join with us in making this MAD season very fruitful indeed.

OP posts:
BarbiesBeaver · 15/10/2010 12:41

Or a gingerbread clock with icing hands pointing to "Too Late", that would be good.

I am literally LOLing at Rockets OPK instructions. I am quite liking the fluffiness in here. I must be getting soft in my old age. New fred needed soon....

LadyGoneGaga · 15/10/2010 12:44

Boobs are actually hot, giving off waves of heat. Stupid conflicting signs. Milano just how droid-y was your droidiness pre-win?

LadyGoneGaga · 15/10/2010 12:46

I did LOL too. In fact I ROFL-ed. And then I LSHISMP.

Ivegotmrbitey · 15/10/2010 12:46

Spent lunch hour asking dr google about implantation pain and I have decided I am either a) diffed, b) about to suffer acute pancreatitis or c) have trapped wind. Aries is your's (here comes the science bit..) pokey or diggy? I am experiencing more of a pokey feeling and it's been there for days now. (menkul menkul menkul)

rocketleaf · 15/10/2010 12:47

i read at a ginger bread cock sindy. maybe not such a bad idea, with one single solitary spermz residing in the ball sack? We shouldn't leave the lads out now, should we?

Ivegotmrbitey · 15/10/2010 12:48

cass! Saucy minx am Envy at your pornesque escapades Grin

Casserole · 15/10/2010 12:59

All MUCH more appropriate responses to my harlotness, thank you :)

Now I am properly turning the tinerwebs off this afternoon to revise. So the new thread'll have to be someone else. But you have all made me laugh a lot this morning Grin

Dead legs and nipple tweaks (in a basement) to all...

Ariesgirl · 15/10/2010 13:05

Good luck with revising Cassiopeia.

Bitey mine is kind of diggy and naggy. Is there a difference between the above and pokey? And it hurt when I had a poo this morning. Is it in fact appendicitis, do you reckon?

I make no apology for the poo anecdote by the way. Given that we've heard about HB's swollen fanjo this thread already and countless other bodily functions Grin.

OP posts:
rocketleaf · 15/10/2010 13:12

Could the new thread be some sort of piss take of the (in) fertility show? With stalls selling BESH paint in shades of CM, Barren biscuits, and half tonne packs of pisssticks?

Roll Up! Roll Up! to the BESHest show on earth for those TTC since Barnum was a lad. We will cure your infertility (or at least make you laugh in it's face) with a heady mixture of Folic laced Barren Biscuits, bumper packs of Piss sticks, and hourly workshops on identifying FFJ by using this handy Pantone chart.

Or somat.

milanomum · 15/10/2010 13:14

Get to it rocket

rocketleaf · 15/10/2010 13:14

That or cinco should do a bakery based one, very handy for those in need of pit sustenance.

milanomum · 15/10/2010 13:14

LGG a bit brauun. Just like normal pre-droid droidage. But just a teasing spot.

cincotart · 15/10/2010 13:21

Go for it Rockyrocket (incidentally the name of our litlle car :D). I have to go to work now (bloody ridiculous I know) so don`t have the time.

cincotart · 15/10/2010 13:21

or the literary prowess....

Ivegotmrbitey · 15/10/2010 13:22

aries Would decribe it as sort of pulley and pokey, mine hurt when I had a poo too.

Also feeling queasy but yesterday was excorcist sick. No sudden antipathy toward green fags or gin but did unexpecedly fancy a barcadi last night.

Menkul fuelled no end now!

Headbanger · 15/10/2010 13:22

Oh, you Guys!

Have been tearful with PMT and exhaustion (hey! Want to know what NOT to do when you're working AND sitting up till 1am on your studies? Don't go the gym every day! Bad move!) and you haz cheered me right up. Am too weary to contribute to chart but feel have done my bit with Greenish Snot and Sump Oil.

rocketleaf · 15/10/2010 13:24

Iz too soon. Will see if anyone else comes up with a betterer one have fun at work (ahem)

I had kind of pokey pains this month, but then i think I also had them the month before. Think I was just obsessing and was probably just a bit of indigestion.

Whenisitmyturn · 15/10/2010 15:27

You lot are true nutters!! I LOVE the Dulux colour charts idea.

Cass you durrrty dawg you!

Cincs and Scorps will email shortly to arrange.

kat2504 · 15/10/2010 16:49

Love the colour charts! Chart could be bypassed though cos if you take stuff into the shop they have a machine to colour match it for you. very gross!!!

PrincessBoo · 15/10/2010 17:46

I'm happy with the fertility show fred as long as Lucas can be on one of the stands. 10 minutes with Lucas for a tenner.

Loving the paint chart stuff, you loons.

I have been to the dentist. I was very brave, and he gave me a sticker.

PrincessBoo · 15/10/2010 18:09

Oh and BB green fags in this house (well standing outside the back door) are menthols. Spliffs turn me into a dullard, it's been years since I indulged. Grin

saltyair · 15/10/2010 19:08

Hello all.

I will say this only once, Jam Jars at the ready ladies, it has started again......

Wink
starnosemole · 15/10/2010 19:31

Bum, started another message, copied it as BBB nicked needed laptop for work, and cut beginning off. Can't remember how I started. Something about paint charts in B&Q never looking the same again, you're all ver ver funny.

Welcome to newbies katthedog and sunshineonarainyday

(back to original message)
don't have to be MAD to come here, but it helps etc

casslut you slaaaaaag. Did you like it, going down in the cellar on with the dirty dirty man?

muser I also don't like feet.

arielgetsitclean sorry bout your technofail, glad you had paintcharts of pantsnot to cheer you and head up. Imagine if someone you know asked how you were and you were in that Ricky Gervais film where you had to tell the troof about why you were laughing. That would be funny.

bitey sounding v v v suspicious to me, and I don't think enough fuel has been laid on this fire yet- projectile vomit you sa? hmmmm, allow me to assess the tenderness of your breastage...

BB menthol fags always remind me of the futility of having polos after you'd been smoking on the number 93 on the way home. Does anyone else have a deeply irresponsible pang of pity for our EShspring, who will never be able to come in and say, 'course I smell of smoke, had to sit upstairs on the bus on the way home'

salsapop i had lots of pokey pains in pg too. much respect for thread startage, could never put myself out there,am in awe

princessandthepea cudos for dental survival, did you get pooh or piglet on your sticker?

milano and monkey hoooooooraaaaahhhhhh!! well done for dropping butter dish on these stubbled plains, you're the living embodiment of mellow fruitfulness. hope your gourd swelling goes swimmingly

whenfiver and scorps there be secrets? are you having a threesome? can we watch?

anypassingesh Hi.
(have cunningly deflected fact of having Nothing of Interest To Say by interest in others. I thank you )

LadyGoneGaga · 15/10/2010 19:46

Meringue, chez Salty Wink?

Well, the droid is definitely visiting. Giving me a whopping 7 day long luteal phase. Hopefully this is temp state of affairs.
In other news, I've just had big altercation with couple in street. Stupid. They demanded I drive backwards 6 car lengths into a road rather than them drive backwards 2 spaces. Wankers. I refused. They guy got out his car, shouting and screaming at me, then his ugly wife did same, said he would happily stay there all night as he brandished his two cans of lager and copy of the Daily Tory at me. I merely put the hazard lights on, got out car and walked to my house leaving car blocking the road (is the non-main road I live on so my neighnours can just come ask me to move). I did run round the back so they didn't see where I lived. Wankers. Am shaking with rage. I won't stand for being bullied by a rotund little angry man and his careworn wife.

PrincessBoo · 15/10/2010 20:01

Round of applause LadyGeeGee When are you going to go back out then?

starryhedgehog am impressed at your attention to everyone, am feeling the BESHluff. Sticker had Disney characters on. Dental technician tried to find one that said 'I love my dentist'. I do. He is a Phillipino hunk, and gentle to boot.

Chutney Seasalt?

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