Aaaah Autumn...BESH style. Join the MAD and may your loins be fruitful.

[Ariesgirl]

Aaaah Autumn...

Season of jizz and menkul WOOFLing,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing ovaries;
Conspiring with him how to SWI and bless
With baybees the hags that round the thatch eves drink gin run.

Join with us in making this MAD season very fruitful indeed.

I popped back out when I was sure they'd gone. MrG went and had a look. Now drinking fizzy pink stuff and bit calmer and just troughed homemeade Mauritian Curry. Yum.

I am watching Nigella on iplayer. Half our tv channels aren't working again.

She is making a blackberry trifle and MrBoo (in reference to her descriptive style) said 'she might as well call it spunk cake'

I have an issue becasue I tend to not back down. Ever. Not good for ones Karma I'm sure.

Mmmm, spunk cake sounds lush. When I first read that I thought Goddess Nigella herself had decribed said confectionary as "spunk cake"!

Sounds like a perfecto evening, Bitey. I bloody love True Blood. Is it season 2 on Channel 4? I watched on Fx but might have to watch again (saddo). Season 3 out in US - pondering boxset purchase.

LGG what a couple of twats. I live on a street where people get irritated about parking - stupid fuckers!

Bitey True Blood rules. I love Eric.....

Am loving the paint chart thang going on. Esp as I'm sat in a half decorated room right now!

GG most humble and prostrate apologies- I am certain that your bit of message was on the top that I cut off my message, and I didn't leave you out I promise- Bah to the evil one, am muchly in sympathy, instadiff missing is just another kick in the teeth. Well done for taking a stand against anything involving the dailyheil. No fuckers gonna mess about dahn your way now! jealous of pink fizz.

My biggest problem with True Blood is that I persistantly forgot to watch it after the first two, and then got all behind. Think I needed a break after seeing Vinnie from Home and Away in the altogether. Phew. Will put it on the list along with Mad Men and the West Wing.

Is anyone looking at the colour of their walls in a different light now? Mine were natural hessian, now I'm seeing about a 4 on the FFJ chart..

AIBU to be excited about Pillars of the Earth starting tomorrow?

Absolutely not. We are too.

I have been out this evening. At a committee meeting. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWN!

Morning hags, I am up ridiculously early and can't get back to sleep :(

holymoley I also have some natural hessian, i agree number 4, and the rest is nutmeg white, which having a 'warm' tinge i think would be number 5.

lady you are my hero. I hate car bullies. most people round here are quite polite, there are lots of back streets with double parking situ so you have to be. But what annoys me is when you pull in to let someone through and 3 or 4 people take the piss and follow them. then the lfash you to say thanks. SO not only have you taken the piss you have now blinded me, Well done.

I luffs True Blood, and I have season 3, happy to lend out my copy if anyone is VEY interested.

rie what, a committee meeting? that sounds very grown up.

boo tell MrBoo i love him. Nigella winds me up.

I suppose i ought to try and go back to bed...

Oooh, I'd be vey interested, Sprocks. Anything to see Eric in the altogether

ladyG season two is on channel four now. Eric was some kind of viking warrior in a past life flash back last night and even FDH agreed he was hot! Was is this FX you speak of?

In menkul news stabby pain has subsided to low grade tuggy feeling dispelling fears of eptopics, surely couldn't have got that bad that quick?

I'm off to a beer and cider festival will bring back several barrels to the cottage [grin

PS Have truffle on my walls, now best described as 014 Sudden reappearance of droid when you thought it was safe to wear favourite whie pants

My bedroom walls are terracotta. Towards the upper end of the scale methinks, next to LadyG's rusty gusset. Nice.

It's a gorgeous day innit? Gonna stroll down to town via the river, do a bit of duck feeding on the way methinks.

Then may spend the afternoon making spunkcake to go with the barren biscuits for the next Fred.

Stop it Rierie. You were down drinking Diamond White on the beach and we all knows it. Committee meeting indeed...

This. This RIGHT HERE is why I am going to fail all my exams...

BESHityourself proudly presents...

The BESHtone colour matching system, for all your interior colourways

000 Clearest eggwhite
001 Watery white
002 All that jizz?
003 Cottage cheese
004 Cunt-ry cream
005 Hopeful Yellow
006 Hint of a Tint
007 Excessive Cigaring
008 Stretchy but streaky
009 Palest Pink
010 Implantation Imaginings?
011 Itty Bitty Brown
012 Brahn String
013 Ovaltine Ochre
014 Sludge Brown
015 Clotty Red
016 Purest Scarlet
017 Possibly Green*
018 Barely Black*
019 Sump Oil Surprise*
020 Nothing. Nadda. Where the fuck IS it?

*Available at specialist retailers

Snort. Have just read this sentence in my practical textbook:

"Occasionally some patients are unable to adopt the correct position to receive treatment because of pain. DO NOT FORCE SUCH PATIENTS INTO POSITION".

I love that they've obviously had to put that in. Have images of gung-ho students twisting osteoporotic 90 year olds into pretzel-like positions....

Belatedly, GaGa, you're brilliant! I would have sat there, refusing to move, but crying also.

Cass, that's it you've done it!

DAN not Dab

Where are you all, yow schlaaaaaaags?

Incidentally doesn't Schlagsahne mean whipped cream? Is one of my favourite German words. Along with Durchfall and Schmetterling.

I'm talking with myself. I'm officially a total sad act.

In 2WOOFLing news 'm feeling sick this morning, but this is undoubtedly the results of my Committee Meeting and my girly intolerance of alcohol.

diamond white

I'm revising. I am not here. Not even a little bit. No siree.

Cass! Thank God!

Or Diamond Fight as it's known in these parts. OK, you are excused. Where are ma other beyatches?

Sorry, one more thing and then I am going, I promise...

"When performing this adjustment on male patients, make sure that the testicles are moved away before placing your hand on the pubic ramus. It is most approriate to ask the patient to do this himself "

I'll freaking say!!

Oooh sir, excuse me while I move your testicles sir. Oooh sir! Do you like that sir, do you? Left side or right, sir?

I do hope you're going to quote all those bits in your exams!

We have to tell them to move them, that's nearly as bad!

This is what I say. Have had to practice so can do it without embarrassment!

"OK, so if you could just cup your private parts with your left hand and move them over to the right for me please?"

And then you have to go rummaging around in their gusset! It is all VERY undignified. AND I appear to have slightly shorter than usual arms, coupled with large breasts, so to bend over and rummage without ending up resting either my head or breasts on their nads is proving something of a challenge...I may have to start binding my breasts like a pantomime boy

Oooooooh SIR! Do you mind if I sweep your privates with my nipples sir? OOOOOOH! Are these men going to be rugged rugby types, or little old men with dodgy joints? And which part of them are you trying to correct with all this physio-porn?

Could you perfect the art on MrC?

I am (usually vainly) attempting to correct a torsion within the pelvis; where one half of it has sort of skewed forwards in a twisty kinda way and locked out of place (technical terms of course). Actually for men there's another version of it you would generally use but we have to demonstrate both, presumably just mainly just to give the examiners a laugh... because of my aforementioned physical defects I am struggling to nail this one. I am, however, fucking AWESOME at correcting it if one leg is shorter than the other. Form an orderly queue, ladies...

MrC will indeed be spending most of his afternoon shivering in his underpants on my behalf later on today.

This thread is going to end. Perhaps then I'll actually do a bit more study...