Aaaah Autumn...BESH style. Join the MAD and may your loins be fruitful.

[Ariesgirl]

Aaaah Autumn...

Season of jizz and menkul WOOFLing,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing ovaries;
Conspiring with him how to SWI and bless
With baybees the hags that round the thatch eves drink gin run.

Join with us in making this MAD season very fruitful indeed.

P.S if you were talking about Jezza Paxo I've met in real life and I would. Silver fox with attichewd.

I am seeing inuendo everywhere. e.g., truffkin said "last night I drove up the middle lane" which I thought was a euphemism for Mr Hanky's Hideaway and winning a baybee "the wrong way". Although... am suspicious that truffkin's MIL does not want her to procreate with her son...

I currently have a man on my balcony painting the woodwork. Will the fumes kill my baybee? If the fumes don't work - will the fact he's watching the Cartoon Network do the job instead?

Morning all, hows the digging pain aries? I have it too, have had it for a fews days and was up half the night panicking about appendicitis although my digging is on the left.

Aaah sorry ladygee I have sent Eric from true blood up the mountain after you as am sure he isn't that bitey in real life.

Ha, but Desmond morris says telly is better for small children than reading. Oh yes. We have embraced that philosophy *wholehearterdly in the G household.

*Disclaimer: we do still read books obv. But my son will be a media master. Fully conversant in both literature and childrens TV of the late 20th century.

Firstly ? another whoop for monkeysBum!

There there FairyQueen. Pop yourself on my lap my sweet. I would give you a good thrashing but you sound all frazzled and sad so can?t bring myself to do it. First FC appointment was back in the olden days of June 2009, I believe. The begging for money from the NHS biz was because I have a prickling in my thumbs that they are going to take away the promised IUI/IVF because they have seen my dessicated innards and think my dried lentil eggs are alas no more. It is very confusing remembering what stage all us BESH?es are at. We would never give up on you, you should know that. WE are the ones who will hold your hair back whilst you are sick after the drunken ramblings. XXX (yes kisses! What of it!)

Kat ? welcome. I am interested in your Nigella/Angelina cross breeding experiment. . Welcome also to LittleMissSunshine.

Looks like I am in the cool doid gang after the rusty fucker turned up 2 weeks late.

Muser Star Trek weekend this weekend Yes you can eat brownies with a shovel spoon of course.

Ariel we have central heating running from a woodburner, but we went through a winter with no heating at all (except plug in heater) and it was no fun at all. All the cooking oil in the kitchen virtually solidified because it was so cold, and god help you if you needed a wee in the night ? the loo is downstairs and at the back of the house brrrr. We have a large furry blanket on the sofa too. This progresses to a duvet in winter. We are also hardly ever ill..hmmmm.

When discussing ?green fags? do you all mean spliffs or menthols?

AlpineHorn I?ve been thinking dirt too. All I can think of is Bendy Dick CunterSnatch.

RadioGaGa Uniiiiii!

star trek weekend you say?

ladyg sprout will also be media master plus sci fi geek. TB was only last night working out of it will be old enough to take to see Empire Strikes Back in 3D at the cinema. 4 years old is surely old enough?

BB i always think of him as Bendy Dick Cum Patch. :o

URGH! In the interests of my continuing dedication to over-sharing, may I just say fuck Ovaltine: D22 and I'm producing what I can only describe as sump oil. Nice. How can an apparently healthy woman excrete something that's actually black? . Oh for the days of scarlet droids.

However my new MN pal Violet, she of the six children some of which inexplicably took a year or two to conceive, told me to enjoy drinking, shopping and general relaxedness while I can, so on that note I am currently a lot more excited about picking up my amazing new phone today than about a potential baybee

Morning BBGun! You're ace you are

HeadGirl oh ovaltine is sooo Summer 2009. It's all about the sump oil this season. Much more Autumnal. I'm getting essence of blackberries, claret, the smell of roofing tar at primary school, the velvet skin on a sloe berry, deep earthy notes.....

I've got purest Scarlet here, HB. Still not quite sure whether to count it as full droid yet. My body does do a nice line in "barely black" at times too.

MrBitey I am rather keen on Eric from True Blood. Much sexier than Bill in my book. All tall and viking-y. And a bit bad.

Ahhhh. You've all made me tear up a bit at work.

At somewhere I used to work years ago, there was an electrical testing lab in the basement (bear with me, it's relevant). One of the things they used to test was toasters; there was a colour chart that the toasters were meant to adhere to in order to be passed, so that toast done on setting 1 was such a colour, toast done on setting 2 was slightly darker, etc. We also had Pantone charts up everywhere so twas all very colour specific.

I am thinking there should be a BESHtone chart for, ahem, emissions , something along these lines:

001 Palest Pink
...
...
009 Implantation Imaginings?
010 Purest Scarlet
...
...
014 Ovaltine Ochre
...
019 Barely Black
025 Sump Oil
etc

What do you think? I could patent it, get one put in every box of pisssticks... maybe Dulux would be interested, too?

I'm wiping away tears of mirth. Yes. At this hour. I luffs you all I does.

Digging pain is there in a ghosty sort of way. And in New News I also feel queasy. Though this is possibly the Merlot

(cass* you are a genius

bb you are the shizz but HTFU girl (x)

ladyg & bitey team eric fo sho, he gets even better in season 3.

that is all.

I love it Cass perhaps you could write into that "Genius" programme to see what they think? May I add:

000 Clearest Eggwhite
002 Hint of a Tint
003 Excessive Cigaring
009 Hopeful Yellow
010 Possibly Green (TM Bangers)

Rocket I am dead hard. I went for a swim in the SEA on Tuesday after work. How's that for triple hard? And yes I'm in the UK.

Do you want my sordid confession of the morning? I had The Secks in aforementioned basement. In a storecupboard. With one of the engineers

How about simply "Cream"

Sans wet suit, Clungeface?!!!!

Love the emissions chart, Cass.

We can add to that
Strecthy but streaky
Watery whitish
Milky white
Creamy cream
Stringy cream
Cottage cheese
Brahn String
Clotted Red
Sludge brown
Bitty brown

I'll let you decide on the numerics as fear will get tangled.

Its not hard if you are stark starring mad, which obviously you are. All the TTC must have tipped you over the edge. Swimming in the SEA, in OCTOBER? in ENGERLAND? Crazy lady. C'mon tho, admit you were wearing wetsuit that you peed in to keep you warm?

Look what I found in the hayloft

BB and Cass - loving you and your work! Do you think 008 Is that Jizz? would be a seller?

May I interject? Swimming in the sea at this time of year is fine because the water has just passed its warmest. It's actually much warmer than it is in May and June.

Gaga obviously with a wetsuit I am not completely menkal just yet! Was lovely actually.

How could we have forgotten the old favourite "Brown string"? Cass see you on Dragon's Den. We can also market the Hateful PissSticks (TM) and the Barren T-Shirts (TM) while we are there.

And Aries is right, sea is at it's warmest around this time O year. I do go in all year round though. February is harsh, especially when the streams on the beach have frozen over and it's snowing.