Aaaah Autumn...BESH style. Join the MAD and may your loins be fruitful.

[Ariesgirl]

Aaaah Autumn...

Season of jizz and menkul WOOFLing,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing ovaries;
Conspiring with him how to SWI and bless
With baybees the hags that round the thatch eves drink gin run.

Join with us in making this MAD season very fruitful indeed.

I seriously fancy those brownies. Unlike feet.

I FEEL SICK.

Today I have eaten (not counting the lamb and veg at lunchtime, which I prolly should, and sometime remind me to tell you about my INSANE lunchtime eating arrangements at work...):

Item: Slice of some sort of chocolate hazelnut torte thing
Item: 2 whoopie pies (that is MrsFC's fault)
Item: Cupcake mixture
Item: Leftover cream cheese icing
Item: 1 large cream cheese iced cupcake
Item: 3 crackers with cream cheese and sliced tomato on top

And I didn't go to the gym today. This is what babyfail does to me.

Hello everyone. I am watching Lucas. I said watching Aries, Jeez...

headbanger I think you can pass this off as a healthy ttc diet. Calcium is very important for women you know, so all that cream cheese is just what you need to build up your stores. You should be feeling smug and proud.

Kat you are clearly a woman of unusual perception, compassion, and kindness. Welcome to le Palaid .

Go on then. Tell us about yourself . I shall be listening whenever Lucas isn't onscreen...

Palais OBVIOUSLY

also, cream cheese is a health food. Fact. As are crackers and tomatoes.

I don't know what whoopee pie is. Will assume it is a health food.

So, basically, you had lots of health foods and pudding. Sensible, balanced and sustainable.

Benedict Cumberbatch is on have I got news for you.

I love him.

If I ever have baybeee, I will call it Cumberbatch.

ooooh, have you been baking too Head? Methinks we need to test the cupcakes, just to make sure you've not poisoned yourself you know...

About me, well I whiled away my fertile 20s in either singledom or lustful liaisons or doomed attempts at something more sensible and then went back to lustful liaisons. Got to 30s and decided to settle down and get on with procreating. Had always wanted to do this in late 20s but attempts to choose a man failed dismally. And I was, well, enjoying myself too much, worked abroad for a bit and enjoyed the freedom of being single.

Now 32 going on 33. Babywin number one did not go according to plan and resulted in babyloss. Family history of earlier menopause so panic is now enhanced. Back on the babylottery ttc treadmill again. panic further enhanced by lack of ewcm and all that lovely stuff. Not reached the point where any professionals will be concerned, obviously now I have managed to conceive I will have to wait another year before I am supposed to worry - yeah right!
We don't live together yet (should have been moving in this month but can't get to my job from his place and can't afford to give it up until mat leave) so if no babywin in next few months will have to comtemplate trying for new-job-win and all. Am a teacher but not loving it at all at the moment and am gutted not to be leaving at Xmas like I ought to be. But hey ho, the extra money will be good.
I have so far failed to give up any of the stuff that you ought to when ttc, especially caffeine! My idea of a healthy diet is a packet of crisps with a terry's chocolate orange. Wine makes up 2 of my five a day. I am the opposite of a domestic goddess and think Kim and Aggie ought to pay me a visit sometime soon.

saltyair thank you!!! He is lush! He was a great Sherlock. Liked his hair better as sherlock though. mmmm my viewing pleasure has been greatly enhanced now.

Oh am v sorry about your babyloss Kat . Let's slosh glasses of merlot to a sticky one for you soon . Gah, the spectre of early menopause must be alarming - we will take you mind off it with erotiviolence and gin. It is the BESH way.

ARGH am now torn between Benedict 'The Perfect Sherlock Holmes And I Am An Expert So Don't Fucking Argue With Me You Bell-End' Cumberbatch and Lucas! INNER TURMOIL!

Why can't you have both?

Good point well made occy: iPlayer WIN!

Well I've been searching for this for about 2 days so here are my answers....

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'yes'....hell yes. I also like beer, I am drinking one now, plus most things in bottles

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?
   A gold digger

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

Well clearly I don't know the right answer I've been trying them all in case!

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you: a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway. b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

Yawn and start kicking and punching??!

5. Is R2D2: a) an adorable robot from Star Wars. b) the source of all evil.

the funny dude from Star Wars - I usually fall asleep when that film is on though so I could be wrong

6. what colour are your walls?

mostly white...

7. Number of pets?

None. Thusband says I'm not responsible enough for one & I mostly let plants die

8. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

Paxman....

9. Lesbian crush?
   Florence off of Florence & the Machine

10. What are your views on camping?
    Is that something I do when out with my gay friends?

11. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?

i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
ii) Over 100 quid
iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

Well over £100 quid. but seen as I'm a self confessed gold digger it's not my money so I don't care....

I likes the cut of your jib, I does

Mmmm, thanks HB

Hi there, sunshine - Paxman???????!

Oooh I feel like I have passed a test! Yes Paxman.....I like the way he mocks people....

Me too, OutOfTheShade. Nothing gets my FFJ flowing quite like someone sneering in my general direction.

And, in keeping the totally erratic, unsubstantiated and undemocratically-based theme of this evening's thread, some information about you pliz WhereTheSunDon'tShine

kat Sully...ohhh yes. Apart from all that hair.
HB about the SECHS I have been initiating it to carefully planned days but I don't think DH has really got that ever. Hmmm, I suppose we did TEH SECHS about 3 or 4 times in the fertile period (every other day from day 8) but have rarely been having funsex too.
monkee congrats! Shall we fret together?

I have what is left of a huge cheescake made by a 'real' American in my fridge. Fancy a bit?

I heart Dr. House for his sneering.

Info on me....just 34, not much in the tit department to be honest but hey I look good in a vest. Been on this bloody baybee thing for a good few months now. Did this thing at work today - personality type thing - which told me I was a pessimistic control freak who didn't like to be criticised and couldn't do repetitive tasks......

'Don't like to be critised' eh SunnyJim

We'll soon get you over that one . Sorry about the months. It Is Not Fun and that's a fact.

Milano I iz confused. What is this 'funsex' pliz?

Sorry for my absence. I know you will have been worrying about me. For some reason the electric kept tripping. Most annoying especially seeing as I was trying to cook. I had to make gravy in the microwave as we deduced that the hob was at fault.

I hope scorps isn't watching 4+1. There is a prog about cephalopods on and a giant Luella is being dissected. I just watched a woman being fondled by a giant octopus. They are alarming creatures. Did you know they can undo jam jars? You have got to watch this - it's amazing!

HB, judging from milano's actions it seems as though Tons of Secs is the answer. Sigh.

I am not a fan of Benedict Cummerbund on account of the extremely stupid name and small piggy eyes. But that's just me.

In Merlot news, I am at the bottom of on my second glass. Will I go to Hell?

ARIES!!!!11!!1!! As long as you don't balance the merlot on a cake and carry it across the room, you'll be fine.

Poor baybee Luella!