Aaaah Autumn...BESH style. Join the MAD and may your loins be fruitful.

[Ariesgirl]

Aaaah Autumn...

Season of jizz and menkul WOOFLing,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing ovaries;
Conspiring with him how to SWI and bless
With baybees the hags that round the thatch eves drink gin run.

Join with us in making this MAD season very fruitful indeed.

Well, it is nearly time for a new fred. I nominate Sindyclunge to OP a new Dragon's Den stylee thread, complete with BESHtone Colour Chart (TM), Hateful Pisstixs (TM) and Barren T-shirts (TM). Oh, and Peter Jones in the Pit. Pliz to highlight the longstanding, bitter and twistiness of our nature in it.

I am v upset that you've all ignored my confession. I don't have many of them, this is about as down and dirty as I gets.

Ok then Cass you asked for it.

Yow dirty, dirty schlaaaaaaaaaaaaag! A mechanic you say? Or was it an engineer? Either way was he wearing a boilersuit and covered in oil?

Cass - i think you are on to something there - if you get it set up quickly, you could do a fabulous pwesentation at that fertility circus fair thingy.

aries I always got/get ov pain and it blardy hurts.

Sindyquim Hugs with nipple twists for you.

LGG That's shite. And early too - How fucking impertinent.

I'm sad that my thread is coming to an end. Is that tragically sad? I was hoping for a win on it, but it whizzed past so quickly, mainly due to pissed ramblings and paint chart type musings! Which are great by the way.

Yes, he was really greasy and oily and overally and everyfink

Snot ov pain milano. Am past all that bizniz this month. Am about 7 DPO.

Yes, but it'd the howling October gales and first frosts when you get out is the issue. It's ok in a wetsuit though. I used to go surfing with my ex down Rie's way and was forced to go in sea in January. Brr. Fair play though, BB, good exercing in a bracing kind of way.

Cass you whore. Did he bumsex you too? And spank you with his big spanner? Did he lube you with WD40? Did he, did he?

Did he have a great big greasy TOOL Cass? Did he get your electricity FLOWING? Did he wire himself in correctly?

I did the Piratey one so think someone else should have a go for a bit. Will we fill another thread before Halloween (of course)? I am jealous of the PESH one you see.

Loving the new definition of charting, my pets.

Are the Hateful PissSticks the ClearBlue ones that shout "feck off, you barren old hoor" or the ovulation ones which just confuse?

I'm stuck for ideas. Or maybe, howzabout a B&Q/Homebase style thread complete with colour charts and consistency descriptions?

Cass, it's yours. Differs are allowed to do so. Remember Cho's Tao of BESH?

Though not too soon of course.

cass I only ignored your sluttish confession as I assumed as it was so sluttish, it could not possibly be true. However it appears to be, you great big filthy sluttish slut. Gissa greasy overall covered snog.

oh and aries 7PO? it is implantation pain OBVIOUSLY.

I suggest they come in a mixed bag Camel with no instructions or indication of which is which (OPK or HPT). That way you will waste more of them, and the results will be even more ambiguous. A supporting website could be set up so that confused users of the PissSticks can compare subtle colour differences and interpret the vague user instructions in different ways, leading to an increased feeling of failure and frustration.

A deluxe version will be a digital read out one, which either makes the "Uh Uh" cross noise from Family Fortunes or shows a picture of a Cobweb/Egyptian Mummy/Wrinkled Prune to indicate failure. If you happen to get a positive, it will simply bring up an error message so that you will still be unsure if you have your win.

also what instructions there are should tell you to pee standing on your head, then chill the pee for 45 minutes and 12 seconds, then bring back to room temperature before repeating a mantra (cant think of good one) over it before inserting the pee stick at a 45 degree angle for 12.38 seconds. Pee stick should then be put on the roof for no less that 10 minutes before you have to read it in a mirror wearing your under pants on your head.

Right that's it Rocket, the new fred is all yours.

Meant both of you. Could you work co operatively on this?

:o :o
there is SO a market for those.
a implan-tay-shon...

I think you should have a stall at the next (in)fertility show - you`d make a killing with all your mazing ideas. I could do some barren biscuit gift sets- gingerbread ladies with cobwebby wombs and lots and lots of gingerbread cats :D

BB have I told you before I luffs you veh veh muchly. You are comedy genius. TRUFAX.

ps Congratumalations to more newbie differs. I dont think I ever met`you - see on you on the other side at some point maybe :D

ps my keyboard is playing silly buggers so I can`t do big emoticons or any correct punctuation. No change there then.....

BB & Rocket

cinco I acksherly think you should make those biscuits - could you do a biscuiteers-type thing only much, much less twee? So that I would have gifts to send to friends? Pliz thank you yes.

Thats got me thinking...could lace them with folic acid, pollen, cough syrup and grapefruit juice as a magic cure all. Hmmm....Im off to register Barren Biscuits TM on t`interweb :D

BTW I heart you very very fondly too Rock but ya knows that don`t ya.

yup heart you too tarty all getting a bit fluffy in her innit? Who wants to wrestle?

acsherley think i need to take the soup vege out the oven. Got RL BESHfreinds coming for luncheon.

HERE, it is NOT getting fluffy in cincotart fyi.

Y'all have forgotten Pink Panther: when you get some pre-droid wetness streaked with weak blood. That used to be the bane of my existence

Barren Biscuits = genius. A nice shortbread egg timer would be easy to shape and ice, too.

I think thats an accurate description of the marshmallow puffiness Im feeling acksherly. I know, I know it`s very unBESH like.

Alright then, if I must -dives on TheRock (in a gingerly caring kinda way as don`t want to hurt baybeerock)and gets slippy-

Can`t find the right bloody punctuation - aaaaargh.