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Childbirth

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Original poster

No visitors until 2 weeks after the birth

180 replies

nappyaddict · 22/04/2009 17:25

When people say this do they mean no one at all? When DS was born I couldn't imagine keeping my parents and sister away for 2 whole weeks!!

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StarlightMcKenzie · 22/04/2009 17:27

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Original poster
nappyaddict · 22/04/2009 17:28

Did you do this then Starlight?

What is CLBB?

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MerlinsBeard · 22/04/2009 17:28

no visitors generally means no visitors

Galava · 22/04/2009 17:30

I only know of one couple who did this.

Bonkers.

MerlinsBeard · 22/04/2009 17:32

or no vistors may mean anyone who doesn't normally come to their house (so in your case your parents and sister would still visit)

MuffinBaker · 22/04/2009 17:32

Their baby, their choice.

Think it is okay actually as they might actually get the time to get to know their baby in peace.

MrsMattie · 22/04/2009 17:32

I would have loved to bar all visitors apart from my mum and sister after the birth of my first child. I absolutely hated the stream of people wanting to sit around and coo over my DS when I was knackered, had just had ac-section and just wanted to be alone, recover and bond with my baby.

After my 2nd child was born I was incredibly strict about having NO visitors other than my mum and sis at the hospital, and limiting other guests in the first week or two. So much nicer.

PoorLittleEgg · 22/04/2009 17:33

contented little baby book??

StarlightMcKenzie · 22/04/2009 17:33

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StarlightMcKenzie · 22/04/2009 17:35

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MrsMattie · 22/04/2009 17:37

I told everyone apart from my mum not to visit until we called. Not control feakery, more:

'I have just had major surgery and want to lie in bed breastfeeding and being brought chocolate by my loving husband, not having to actually get dressed and make small talk about whether she is sleeping through with you'

SusieDerkins · 22/04/2009 17:48

If I ever hear this I think "you have no proper mates or they must be really crap if you don't want them to come and help you out and give you support and tell you how fab you are for producing such a gorgeous child".

MrsMattie · 22/04/2009 17:52

Don't jump to such mean conclusions!

I have fabulous close girlfriends but I found the whole period after birth so exhausting and I just desperately wanted to be with my husband and baby only.

A week or two later, I felt totally differently, but for those days after the birth I just didn't want to socialise in any way at all.

I think that's totally reasonable. What's the rush? Send flowers or a card. Phone. Drop a text saying let us know when we can come and see your new arrival etc.

TheCrackFox · 22/04/2009 17:58

I only had one visitor (mum, so doesn't really count as she knows were the kettle is) in 2 weeks after DS2's birth because I had a difficult forceps delivery and couldn't even walk. Oh and my stitches got infected and developed an abcess and I got readmitted to hospital. [ouch emoticon]

Once I felt on the mend - 3 weeks - I had visitors.

Original poster
nappyaddict · 22/04/2009 18:04

SM how old was he when he said his first word in the end? I remember you saying he wasn't speaking at 2. How old was he when he was diagnosed with autism? My friend's little girl is 2.7 and doesn't speak yet. She is going for a 4 week observation at a hospital nursery in June to see if she has got autism.

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Original poster
nappyaddict · 22/04/2009 18:12

MrsM - So didn't you even have your parents or siblings (if you have them) visit in the first 2 weeks? See I can understand not having random friends but not your own mum.

TCF - I think that's a bit different though if you had to go back into hospital.

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MrsMattie · 22/04/2009 18:34

I had everyone and their dog after the birth of my first. Hideous. Oh, and my MIL staying with us .

I had my own mum and my sister only after my second. Lovely jubbly

StarlightMcKenzie · 22/04/2009 19:17

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StarlightMcKenzie · 22/04/2009 19:21

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Gemzooks · 22/04/2009 20:52

depends how you feel after the birth, I don't think people should be judged for not wanting visitors at the start. it's their baby. also you can feel very wobbly. I personally didn't want visitors before birth, then did want them as was on such a high, then just wanted them to leave because actually I wasn't up to it. I would respect their wishes and not worry about it, it's only 2 weeks!

DawnAS · 23/04/2009 09:14

DH and I have told people that we don't want visitors at the hospital or at the house for the first couple of days after we get home so that we can bond with our little girl.

It is our first baby and so I have NO IDEA how I'm going to feel or even what sort of birth I will be having. I'm having to be induced as I have GD.

I said to DH that the only person (other than him) that I may want there is my Mum, purely because of her support and experience as she's had 5 of us!

I felt it better to do it this way and then if I'm feeling fine, DH can call people and say, "Dawn and Jelly are fine so we'd be really happy if you'd still like to visit in the hospital", than for everyone to assume that they could visit and then if there are any problems, he has to phone and say that they can't come.

We both have big families and loads of friends and ALL have understood our reasons and are perfectly happy with it.

I'm sure I'll change my mind and what visitors so that I can show her off once she arrives, but just in case...

June2009 · 23/04/2009 12:28

I'm pretty sure I don't want visitors for the first two weeks but by that I really mean "unnanounced" visitors, specifically my SIL and BIL who come over everyday. They know where the kettle is but they don't clean up after themselves and are usually quite liberal about rummaging and helping themselves from our cupboards, leaving plates/cuttlery/wrappers etc about which already drives me nuts now.

I have a couple of best friends/relatives who have offered to come over and are more than welcome to as they would actually help and won't mind if I haven't had a shower in a couple of days or if i'm still in my nightie at 2pm.
I also want to breastfeed and I don't want to have to worry about covering up etc to do it.

This is my first one too so I just don't know how I'm going to cope.
One of my best friends did not tell anyone bar her mum and sister for 2 weeks that she had given birth, at the time I was but now I think it's a brilliant idea ;)

GYo · 24/04/2009 16:09

Its definately the unannounced people that cause the pain.

We had a couple of DHs friends turn up when DD was 4 days old. While it was nice to see them, I was struggling with feeding, exhausted, sore, emotional and they stayed for ages, insisting on holding baby for all the time they were here.

Find it hard to understand why people just drop in on new parents.

cheesemonster · 24/04/2009 16:39

I think its up to the parents. We are due no 3 in june & are havinga no visitors for 2 weeks rule & we mean no visitors- fortuantley all our family live miles away & we have explained to our friends who understand completley.
By the way we are not GF parents, in fact quite the opposite as we practice attachement parenting.
We just want time to adjust as a family, get to know our new baby & not feel obligated to let visitors hold our lovely new baby.

Original poster
nappyaddict · 24/04/2009 21:30

cheesemonster - i bet you wouldn't be able to do that if your parents lived up the road

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