The PESH Deli - The one where Cheggers Goes Pop-Pop!

[skihorse]

BESH BABYWIN STATS

This isn?t a fucking list ? right?

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.

UPDIFFED
Cheggers, she won 2 baybees, due soon
Ponymum, the one with the worst hips, due mid June
CUNextTuesday, takes no shit from the Daily Mail, due June 28
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
CurlyCasper, the ginger with the dodgy joints due July 21 (girl)
Skihorse, cradle snatching web geek, due July 22 (boy)
Carrots, organic hippy hunter, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
Pandora, She's got wings, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
Honeymoo, puppy lover, due November 1
silversky, the biggest farter, due 21 October (first baybee)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6

Stinky Butt reporting for duty!

All I can say is that I hope the bottom burps are present at the birth, as I can imagine the look of disappointment on Husband's face if I let rip. By accident of course. My body is no longer my own.

Had a nightmare this morning, won't go into details. All I can say is Husband is now convinced I am an emotional wreck. He is not wrong.

I agree its nice that Husband is being a swot and he even doesn't mind watching OBEM. Though when the birds are screaming, he looks at me and says "Oh that will so be you". Who knows what I'll be like. Would love to be one of those mothers who barely wimper during labour. Tho there really aint much chance of that.

Ooooh get me sparking off a debate about maternity leave.

iggs I'm going on 14th June. Can we meet for gin coffee??

Reporting in from sunny() Edinbunge. Have actually decided to pay for the hotel wifi connection today instead of attempting to piggyback on MrP's access code and being cut off...

Having a lovely time yaking with the temp nanny about ponieez all day long. She is 19 (so young and pretty!) and has just taken on the loan of a horsie. Hope she is benefitting some other PESH by doing so! Have been to John Lewis and bought some baybee things. Delighted by being in an actual real city with shops, mobile coverage, and (most exciting of all) takeaway delivery to your door! Complete with real noodle boxes and fortune cookies! (Back to rural reality tomorrow.)

cokehead You must be frickin' joking to think that I would put myself on telly for anything, let alone something as vulnerable as having a baby! Are you mad? I really am a very private person.

Maternity leave / pay debate - my last attempt to return to work was somewhat blighted when I was made redundant while on maternity leave. Yes, really. So our "few months" of slightly reduced income turned into something much, much worse. Really didn't expect that to happen, but we have adapted somehow. No, we don't have the lifestyle we used to have (in fact I weep to compare) but the priority right now is family so there are some lovely compensations. We'll claw it back one day. I know I can kick arse when it comes to earning money. (Although I question whether I really want to now... I am one very confused career woman / mother.)

pandy Good luck for the second audition for horsie.

ski Did you seriously think that pandy had put a photo of her horse's diseased cock on the advert?

Welcome reggie. As a welcome gift please help yourself to a splodgy wedge of stinky vacherin which I have very kindly left out in the sun for a few hours. In fact - go on, everyone have some. Mmmm!

My fond regards to the 'burgh pony. I really miss that place sometimes

We went to the waterbirth talk at the local maternity unit last night. Very useful. Dads have to take their own fishing net and it's their job to keep the water free of floaters and at the right temperature. One woman who was there is due next week and her bump is only a wee bit bigger than mine. I'm growing a monster!

Actually I know it's mostly water because she keeps scrunching up on my left hand side, behind the placenta (as discovered at three AN appointments now) and the rest of the bump is well-rounded and "full". I'm quite happy for her to have lots of space and cushioning if she's going to be so active.

Still waiting for news of my new niece's arrival. Think the poor wee baby is going to be branded an April Fool...

Fackin' ell cunty - 14th June? I am in total awe of that!

Julian is 24 weeks today! Makes it seem a little bit more real you know? Little bastard showed me no mercy though and had me puking (again) and I pissed myself (again).

pony Course I didn't think she'd show only the willy, but I thought maybe it was a picture of him stood outside his box with a soft lob-on or something...

I haz lost patience with "everyone" - the latest OMGNO thing I've seen on the Pregnancy threads is "OMG SPERMS MAKES UR BAYBEE KUM 2DAY!" and "OMG CAN I USE LUBE?"

Pony ta for the good luck thoughts! Big horse has 364 lazy days a year and one absolutely mental one. I am praying today is not his mental one! It would be nice to see him go just down the road, and be able to watch him being the fabbest horse in the hunt and know I did all his groundwork. As for Ski - she lives in hope, but who knows what was going through her head when she stalked my ad to see if I had put a picture of his willy on it. Hormones, ey? You'll all be pleased to hear my horse's willy is now back to normal, but he now has a flybite on his side which he scratched till it bled.

Cas I want a water birth - I will scream the place down if I don't get one this time. I asked and asked and ASKED last time and they kept saying 'no, not yet.' and then the next midwife came on and said she had asked if I would like to consider using the pool and I had replied 'no thanks, I'm very comfy here!' I know you say strange things when you are in labour but clearly that midwife was on a different planet to the one I was on!

As for work, I have to have a little cheer - HURRAY!!! I have worked out that with my part time days off, leave, and some very careful planning, I only have 44 actual days left that I have to work (over the next 22 weeks!) That is something to celebrate, I think. While it is all legal and above board, it is definitely 'playing the game,' and since I have discovered they set the rules and use them, I am going to get as much out of the situation as they are trying to get out of me. They have already done me out of some of my income and days off, so I am clawing back those days of in a very allowable way. So there.

Ski just been over to the other place and saw that you only won a bag, but they felt so bad about not sending it they are sending you skis. You jammy cow!

A seemingly very nice set of boutique skis too! I'd wanted to try a set of twin-tips for a while so I'm very happy with these - they also seem to be selling for 460 euros online - very pleased I "did a pandora"! I can't wait to show them off in the Rockies next winter - those canucks love boutique skis - and euro boutiques? I'll be the toast of the town, all the boys will want a piece. And I'm stuck there with jailbait & Julian. tsssssssssssssssk!

There be a bunny lurking around these these here parts today. I'm trying to lure it out by saying Easter eggs, spring chickens, Alice in Wonderland. Then we can shoot it and have pie for lunch. Nom Nom.

I've not gone mental, BTW, just have a peep at the BESH thread.

How did you win skis ski? Where from? Can I win a new board?

What's wrong with 14th June? Too late? Tchah, I don't exactly have a physically taxing job and besides, with huge change programme due to go live at end of May, need to ensure all is straight and true before leaving it in someone else's incapable hands

cunty I won a prize in the christmas competition on snowheads.com which is a primarily ski related forum. If you really want to win a board and lust over the most incredible boarding camps then get your bum over to bitchboards.com - they're on facebook too. They are always giving away prizes.

No, it's not that it's a really taxing job - just thinking public transport might be a pita by then... but, you could always just stink of wee and demand a seat.

Nom nom I've never made rabbit pie but we eat a lot of rabbit casserole in the season (later in the year, when they've stopped reproducing so much). Free meat, ethically killed, locally produced (LOL in mum's field), free range as they come, practically fat free and the only packaging is their skins. Not yet worked out anything to do with those (I wonder if I bokashid them then composted them ).

Oh sorry, got a bit carried away there. Cute white bunny pictures? Oh lovely, very sweet. Can I get a chocolate version?

pandora good luck with horsey!

Bugger me where did that come from?

Oh and also feeling rather wimpy talking about going on mat leave at the beginning of July .

AIBU?

Woooh! carrots won a wabbit! I love rabbit-pie nom nom!

I'm really not sure about the mat leave, I've got right now, 8 weeks+ holiday to take this calendar year... but tbh I'd rather roll as many of those in to 2011 (4 weeks) so that I have 3 months+ holiday next year. I can always work from home in my pyjamas and a laptop - it's the future.

Just ignore this posting, I am pasting in rots's message in a bid to crack the bunny code

Nom nom I've never made rabbit pie but we eat a lot of rabbit casserole in the season (later in the year, when they've stopped reproducing so much). Free meat, ethically killed, locally produced (LOL in mum's field), free range as they come, practically fat free and the only packaging is their skins. Not yet worked out anything to do with those (I wonder if I bokashid them then composted them ).

Oh sorry, got a bit carried away there. Cute white bunny pictures? Oh lovely, very sweet. Can I get a chocolate version?

pandora good luck with horsey!

interesting...

Curly's playing with carrots' rabbit - all hell is going to break loose, there'll be bumsex and iggy will appear laughing like a lunatic and screaming BUMSEX BUMSEX BUMSEX!

I did it!

ski got a car parking space innit - like rocking horse shit they are so I'm bloody well going to use it till I gasp my last

URGENT!!!

What can I have for lunch?

Good for you Cunty.

Oh for the love of the wee man, that's just taking the piss, showing pictures of shortbread to permanently hungry pregnant wimminz!

cunty Ah, very clever! I am having nuked leftover indonesian from last night. Nom nom. I have a question for you/hom - as my car is an antique, the seatbelt is not as long as you'll find in fatty modern cars - is it possible to get an extension, if so, where might I get one (UK online/halfords pref). I don't need it yet, but I'd imagine after 6 weeks or so...

Bingo!

But here's the weird thing. I was seeing eggs before - then I clicked away to try to work it out, and when I came back all the eggs had turned into bunnies. Are we in the matrix or something? If so it's not really aligning properly for me today.

So I'm on holidays. Being away from work means I'm unable to while away the hours on the internetski, as is generally my wont. But I'm in an internet cafe, just in time to discover that ski left me off the PESH baby stats!!!!

Quick hiss of horrified indrawn breath.

Why??????

Wwaaaiiillllllll

Sorry, sorry, that was the hormones.

But add me !

I am apparently due Nov 14th according to the doc and his comedy scanner.

Miss you all. Have enjoyed the lightening quick catch up. Though sad to see the shit that's been happening over in besh-ville Back for more Pesh adventures at the weekend ! Baci

I've only seen bunnies and shortbread. There are eggs too?

This is the wierdest April Fool ever. I don't think anyone's been fooled, per se. Just amused. A couple of minutes till Midday tho....