The PESH Deli - The one where Cheggers Goes Pop-Pop!

[skihorse]

BESH BABYWIN STATS

This isn?t a fucking list ? right?

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.

UPDIFFED
Cheggers, she won 2 baybees, due soon
Ponymum, the one with the worst hips, due mid June
CUNextTuesday, takes no shit from the Daily Mail, due June 28
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
CurlyCasper, the ginger with the dodgy joints due July 21 (girl)
Skihorse, cradle snatching web geek, due July 22 (boy)
Carrots, organic hippy hunter, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
Pandora, She's got wings, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
Honeymoo, puppy lover, due November 1
silversky, the biggest farter, due 21 October (first baybee)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6

actually that would have been me wits. we compiled them at the end of the last thread and everyone was given a chance to "speak now or be left off". Sorry. We'll get you in next time.

ski I'll ask soft lad for you when he breaks cover decides to text me back. He just accidentally reminded me he's clsing the garage tomorrow and Monday and so now I'm rummaging round for some chores for him. I think he's reluctant to bridge the communication divide

switty I'm so sorry, I remembered you yestereday and figured you must be on holiday to have been missed off. I will buy you a beer & a waffel in Liege if you like.

What's been going wrong in BESH-ville?

Speaking of "comedy scanners", regina - have you been dildo-cammed yet?

cunty "rummaging" for chores? Jailbait is doing the kitchen floor this afternoon and bathroom & loo tomorrow. Monday he's doing the windows and sat/sun he's doing the car. Any scope there for you?

Morning all. Just been for early scan and all fine in my tum tum I nearly cancelled it when I realised it was 1st April but thought that was ridiculous and I am so glad I went! Heart beating fine, normal length and just all good so far. I had even correcetly dated myself at 8+5.

Now where is that chocolate?

Plenty

Although in fairness he's having to sort out the bathroom (ripped out, everything being replaced) because his feckless drug addled 'best mate' 'plumber/general factotum' does one day on one day off. Just when we start getting somewhere he doesn't show up for the day. I remember the convo well: 'P is a good plumber and it will do him good to have regular work - he'll do it for mates rates so we'll save a sheckel or two. Sorted'

cunty... and 5g of smack taped to the back of the cistern!

okie Congratulations - that's fantastic news!

Is anyone else getting to the "ungainly" stage? I was trying to pick something up from under my desk the other day and it involved a lot of "oofing" and grunting.

Honey that doula my friend used abd recommends is here

cokehead I tried to get hold of her but she didn't return my email . Got one of her chums instead - lovely lady, very soothing company

ski ungainly you say? You've seen me trying to get off the soaf then? And don't ask me to reach across for anything...

cunty I look like Danielle Lloyd (pre-pregnancy) when I get out of the car. Legs akimbo, contents of handbag flying, miniatures breaking, ciggy falling from mouth...

I'm not at the office today as we're moving to a different floor - they didn't even ask me to unplug my cables. It's great - bless Eric who sits opposite me, every lunchtime he asks me if there's anything I need from the shops. He also offered to help me pack my books on Tuesday. Books is too heavy for preggo!

I remember you saying about a month ago that you'd got to the "oof" stage getting on and off chairs. I'm like that with the sofa now - worse in the evenings. Work chair is wonderful though.

"oofs" on the sofa, toilet, stairs, shoe-tying, sock putting-on, getting out of the bath. Yes, ski, I too and very noisy and ungainly these days. I surprise myself with some of the noises I make

lol whenever I try to bend over to pick something up, my lungs shrink even more than they have already so I have to spend 5 seconds or so with my hand against the wall catching my breath Classy.

me three. Am very unfeminine ATM and it's only gonna get worse!!

And I was never really the most ladylike person!

AIBU to be irritated by the "Due Month XX, Am I The First???" thread titles?

Sorry okie, I meant to say I'm really pleased to hear that the scan went ok . Congrats!!

AAND a huuuge welcome to our newbie reggie

congrats on the scan okie.

I hate that last day at work feeling...

Yes you are! I did that cos there was no other f**ker on the Internet giving birth in November when I found out I was updiffed. so put that in your placenta burning pipe and smoke it!

Okie thanks so much for doula rec. Rang her straightaway, lovely lovely woman and off to meet her in next couple of weeks. Will let you all know how I get on... And massive congratulations on scan. Hope you didn't weep like the sad sap I am.

Saw dr yesterday and they have sent off referral to c&w nhs mat unit. Bloody receptionist of dr's had a go at me for leaving it so late!!! Bitch.

Thanks Laydeez AND I didn't even need dildocam despite being all geared up for it and everything

Honey you know you can always pay for a private room post birth if there is one free don't you?

Glad you got through to the Doula unlike poor cunty. If there is anything you want to ask my friend about her and her experience in advance you can mail me at okie cokie at google mail dot com and I can put you in touch with her.

LOL honey not a SINGLE person?

Not sure about private rooms BTW, at least in NHS. I was given one coz I was upset about being dragged into the hospital. I would have preferred to go home but tosser-features said, "no, stay here, I want to get some sleep, it's been a long day". May his testicles rise up and strangle him. Upside was privacy, downside was excessive privacy. IE no bugger bothered to see if I was ok, ever.

7.30 give birth.

9pm or so, head to private room. Desposited. Mum and ex leave. New babe sleeps a bit, new mum watches him a bit wondering what to do. New mum sleeps at about 1am. New mum wakes at 3.30am covered in blood. New baby is crying. New mum cries. New mum panics at all blood. New mum wonders if new baby's nappy needs changing. New mum wonders how often babies need nappies changing but is sure they need doing from time to time. New mum HAS no nappies. Or sanitary pads, or clean nightie, or clean bedding. New mum wonders whether she can leave new baby in room on his own while she seeks help. New mum cries some more. New mum bleeds some more. New baby continues to cry.

New mum waddles out of room to find MWs sitting around chatting. MWs look at new mum, covered in blood and crying and stroppily ask what's wrong. New mum meekly asks for help and MW comes and changes baby's nappy while berating New mum for not already doing it. No they don't have any sanitary pads. No they can't give me new bedding as it's nearly morning. No, they've no gowns they can give me.

So in the morning, new mum meets new dad (eventually) and new mum's mum who has thoughtfully brought clean clothes and a shower kit. New mum is most embarassed about state of blood-covered room but at same time can't do anything about it.

I may have been unlucky (probably) but it was horrible, truly horrible

God that sounds horrendous. The main reason I don't want to stay on nhs ante natal ward is cos a) I think they still ignore you and with noise etc has been described as 7th circle of hell and b) I want mr moo to stay too as they give partners mattresses on floor I know. At 850 a night a good bit cheaper than the full whack but no guarantees so I have no hope no one else giving birth privately that day...

It will be decided on the day I suppose. If I'm feeling ok and doula has helped me before leaving then maybe I won't really care where I am, but would definitely prefer mr moo to be with me.

Blimey rots - no wonder you're up for the homebirth.

I can't believe they left you bleeding. What fuckers.

It was "normal" bleeding but I guess they expected that I'd have my own pads, nappies, etc, which is perfectly reasonable, only of course I had a planned HB with an emergency drag-in, so no bag packed.

This time I'll have a bag packed, just in case.

But being left was awful. I was in such a vulnerable position, as well as (oooh poor me) worrying about going home and being with shit-face.

Rots that sounds grim and the fact the they couldn't even give you a pad is dreadful. My mum was trying to tell me to stay in hosptial for as long as possible to get all the help I needed! Ha, I think she was thinking it was like the 1970s when women stayed in for 10 days, maternity wards were not overcrowed and new mums got heaps of help from MWs that had more time to assist.

okie you can see her POV, but it's all change now, huh.

I don't know. I guess I was unlucky, but it depends if you've any help at home at all. I was back in when LC was 13 days old (he had bad reflux) and I stayed in with him for 2 days. It was really helpful as I got lots of BF help which I needed at the time (had to politely demand it, but I got it). Good thing as my community midwife was absolutely crap (didn't diagnose the thrush that was causing the BF problems and it ended up all through his poor body from mouth to botty, and all over my poor nips).

Thought I'd slipped on to the "ideas for horror movies" thread - carrots you've just confirmed that I should plump for the private room, and I'll be demanding my caviar, brie and pate all at the same time (ooo, pass the bubbly!).

pandora69 about me - well, I got a mutt called Rupert (a pekingnese, I know weird choice, but we shave him and he has a mowhawk so that's ok). Used to have several Welsh Cobs till I went to Uni and sadly since my very own saddle bags have prevented me from riding (well, at least the widespread belief in all of Oxfordshire's riding schools that you absolutely must not be anything more than a feather over 8 stone to ride a horse), however I did work at and equine hospital for a spell until my knee exploded. Now I've gone back to my roots and work in IT, which is not nearly as fun as wading around in gallons of blood whilst assisting on DSP surgery, or disentangling yards of intestine when it's flopped out on the floor. Oh, and the rather lapse approach to locking the drugs cabinet .

Had a great evening last night, managed to shave legs and pits as hubby not around to make sure I didn't poach myself and baby in hot bath.

Hope you've all got good plans for Easter - we are having visitors who have a 6 month old, and they're leaving us with him alone on Saturday. The only experience me and him have of babies is how we made one in the first place...screaming shall ensue I'm sure!