The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread#5 - 🐧 The Penguin Huddle 🐧

[InDreamland]

This is a safe space and supportive thread for anyone who is pregnant following a loss. We all understand the worry and anxiety that can come from being pregnant again following miscarriage/stillbirth.

Please feel free to join, even if you were not on the TTC thread.

Starting the roll call copied from the last thread (please feel free to add your name or amend if due dates have changed following 12 week scans or booking in c-secs):

@Melpops36, 38, EDD 5/12/19
@Beaglemum93, 26, EDD 22/12/19
@Amanda81, 38, EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, 37, EDD 03/01/20
@Laney79, 40, EDD 06/01/20
@Bluebelltulip, 29, EDD 09/01/20
@KnitKitty, 31, EDD 29/01/20
@Newbie21, 38, EDD 06/02/20
@InDreamland, 39, EDD 18/02/20
@Tina363,29, EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer, 29, EDD 28/02/20
@Squiff70, 37, EDD end of February (no exact date with twins)
@Strawberry, 28, EDD 08/03/20
@Ginmonkey84, 34, EDD 16/03/20
@DuvetCaterpillar, 34, EDD 27/03/2020
@Navy123, 29, EDD 10/04/20
@Janey15, 34, EDD 16/04/20
@TinyPaws, 22, EDD 19/04/20
@Flyfisherlady, 37, Edd 24/04/20
@FirstTimeMama91, 28, EDD 06/05/2020

Also tagging @boboelephant and @Yukka just to hope they can pop on and update on their rainbows.

Sorry to anyone I've missed 🐧

@Twittlebee good luck x

Good luck @TwittleBee thinking of you and hoping for the best Xxx.

Good luck @Twittlebee I hope you get seen quickly.

Thinking of you @Twittlebee xxx

So only leaving the hospital now after a MW said there is nothing they can do unless I'm either passing out or the bleeding is uncontrollable, it's best I go home, rest, take painkillers and let nature take its cause.

@TwittleBee, hope you get seen soon. Good luck 🤞.

@Rubyroost can you speak to your dh to tell his dm to back off? Or make up plans for her, so she is busy 'helping'/ distracted?

Ds1 is better, I think he needed reassurance from another adult. I did tell him that baby is not very strong right now, so it is hard to feel movements. When I returned home he spoke to my stomach telling baby to press the right place so mom can feel you. Dh put on a game on the computer where you had to press the right button to gets points. He said it is like that at the beginning and mom can only feel if the baby press the right place. Next level baby get stronger and mom will feel it more. Following that level it will get even stronger and we would feel it. Right now baby is not very good at this game but will get smarter and stronger with each day. That ds1 is happy with. Comparing life with games. I'm very happy that he is less anxious.

I'm very sorry @Twittlebee

@Twittlebee Did they do a scan? Huge, huge hugs. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope you're not in too much pain. Xxxx

What a horrible night @Twittlebee. How are you this morning? xxx

Feel like crap this morning, Dad stayed until now but he has had to go. I'm exhausted, in pain and bleeding and somehow have to look after a very demanding toddler. Hoping my sister can come get him.

They didnt scan me, I am booked in for a scan Monday though. They've said I can take codeine for the pain.

I’m really sorry @twittlebee. I used codeine when I had pain and bleeding and it really took the edge off. Don’t hesitate to go back in if it becomes unbearable. It’s good you have a scan tomorrow. Thinking of you xxx

@TwittleBee I'm hoping for a miracle for you. Thinking of you x

Oh @Twittlebee I'm sorry you're still bleeding. I hope you manage to get some rest today xxx

@Twittlebee Also hoping for a miracle for you, I have everything crossed. Thinking of you xx

@Twittlebee, I'm also praying for a miracle for you.

Evening all, thank you all so much. Terrified about the scan tomorrow but also just want it to hurry up. If baby is all okay then I need an answer and a solution to this. I'm going to end up anaemic.

How has everyone else weekend been?

Goodness so much happens here in 48 hours!

@Beaglemum93 good luck! Hope all is well and baby has arrived safely or you're labour is not difficult!

@TwittleBee so sorry you're going through this. Keeping fx for a little miracle baby and that bean is okay x

Sorry to not reply or comment to everyone. I'm so tired. Have slept pretty much most of today. Not achieved everything I wanted to this weekend.

@TwittleBee I really hope everything is ok at your scan tomorrow and that they find the source of the bleeding. Thinking of you Xxx.

Good luck @Beaglemum93!

Ladies, I'm really panicking a bit, please talk me down. DH and I went to an xmas market thing and I stupidly stupidly drank some hot apple cider (non-alcoholic, obviously, I checked), but I forgot to ask whether it was pasteurized. Now I'm so so scared it wasn't since it was from a farm stall and what if I get listeria without any symptoms and harm the baby??? The drink was hot and I only drank 1/4 of it before realizing it might not be pasteurized and giving it all to DH - who is fine. I feel fine, but I'm worried about lack of symptoms and listeria? Should I ask my midwife for a blood test? I am sure she'll just say no...what do you all think?? Please help, v. worried now.

@sadtoday21 I'm sure if the apple juice was hot and steaming that will have been enough to kill off any listeria (even in the unlikely event that the juice was unpasteurized and contained listeria)

@TwittleBee thinking of you, so sorry you are having to go through this and will be thinking of you tomorrow for your scan

I ate unpasteurised goats cheese from a restaurant last pregnancy... By accident, I told them I was pregnant. The French eat unpasteurised cheese all the time throughout pregnancy. It's really rare to have listeria. In fact from the news articles this year isn't it more likely to be on sandwiches sold at hospitals (on the salad) I had a panic about toxomolosis after biting my soily finger nails. I understand the panic, but really unlikely to affect you

Yes and second the hot thing.. Hot brie is fine for example

@TwittleBee good luck tomorrow chicken. I'll be thinking of you. You should ask them to check your iron levels to be safe as well. Xx

@sadtoday21 if it was hot the chances are it's fine. I've been having cooked unpasturised cheese throughout my pregnancy. Ask your midwife about it for peace of mind if you need it, but I'm sure it's fine. X

I was worried about Baby Girl's movements today... Hadn't really felt any kicking all day and just a bit of squirming, but not as much as normal. So went in for monitoring and she's doing fine. She did not like the monitor and was super active while it was on but calmed down again when it came off. She seems to have woken up a bit again now though.
I'm glad I went or I think I'd have wound myself up into a tizzy. Blood pressure was also fine so feeling massively reassured.
I think I'm just feeling a bit more paranoid after my last growth scan... But better safe than sorry.

@sadtoday21 I'm a dairy farmers' daughter- in my first pregnancy I drank raw unpasteurised milk for the full 9 months and I strongly believe that my "ox like constitution" is due to having grown up on raw dairy - the risk of listeria is really very low and it is a risk I've always balanced out on accountability of knowing the food source.

Listeria in fruit juice is rare, I would imagine given that they were a stall at a market that they would have had to provide their food hygiene rating etc to the organiser prior to attending and that they have a good record behind them. Added to that the fact that it was served hot, I think you're fine. The advice is that you can eat cheeses, cured meat etc as long as they are thoroughly hot is because the heat kills off any listeria, and the same logic applies to the hot cider. I know it's easy to let your worries run away with you, but in the kindest way - this is a batshit thing to worry about so please don't. 😊

I'm so sorry to hear your bleeding has got worse @TwittleBee. One of my best friends had bleeding with her DD from 9 weeks on and off through to birth at 34 weeks. It was a bloody hard and emotional pregnancy but her little girl is absolutely fine. I think with bleeding in pregnancy there is no "norm" you can have a tiny bleed and have the worst outcome, or bleed heavily to no detriment. I'm glad you are being seen tomorrow and I hope and wish it is good news for you.

I am sat by the fire with a glass of red wine - very relaxed after a productive day at home tidying and gardening. I'm 28+2 now so I have made it to the third trimester and my little lady is kicking and wriggling about for all she's worth 💞

haha thanks @frillyfarmer, I needed a good laugh to take the edge off and tbh I do feel a bit "batshit" these days sometimes! It's easy to imagine the worst and go down the dark hole of google. Sometimes I really don't feel totally sane in this pregnancy :/. Congrats on making it to the third trimester and relaxing at home after a productive day!

Thanks also @KnitKitty for the advice and I'm sorry to hear about the reduced movement scare. Good to hear that Baby girl is alright though and hopefully your next growth scan will show that everything is all on track. I'm currently gulping loads of hot water and lime trying to wake my little one up so I can feel better about earlier - I think he got really made at me the other night because I shined a flashlight at him at 3 am to get him to move! He was quiet the whole time and then kicked me hard afterwards haha.

You are right @strawberrye, although it was just hot, not boiling. But still, I didn't drink too much of it. Thanks for the reassurance! How are you doing these days? You must be nearing the third tri soon like I am, any new symptoms cropping up for you?

@Rubyroost I know, it's crazy how pregnancy loss messes with your mind. I just love this little boy too much for anything to go wrong now. How are you feeling these days? Is your tooth completely better now?

Does anyone know what are some milestones to look towards in the third trimester? I was trying to get past 9 weeks, then 12, then 20, then 24..and now at 26 I'm feeling a bit like this is really dragging on and when I don't have milestones it feels overwhelming. I have a 4-d scan scheduled for 28 weeks, so that will be the next one, but what about after that? Any suggestions would be welcome, thanks!