The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread#5 - 🐧 The Penguin Huddle 🐧

[InDreamland]

This is a safe space and supportive thread for anyone who is pregnant following a loss. We all understand the worry and anxiety that can come from being pregnant again following miscarriage/stillbirth.

Please feel free to join, even if you were not on the TTC thread.

Starting the roll call copied from the last thread (please feel free to add your name or amend if due dates have changed following 12 week scans or booking in c-secs):

@Melpops36, 38, EDD 5/12/19
@Beaglemum93, 26, EDD 22/12/19
@Amanda81, 38, EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, 37, EDD 03/01/20
@Laney79, 40, EDD 06/01/20
@Bluebelltulip, 29, EDD 09/01/20
@KnitKitty, 31, EDD 29/01/20
@Newbie21, 38, EDD 06/02/20
@InDreamland, 39, EDD 18/02/20
@Tina363,29, EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer, 29, EDD 28/02/20
@Squiff70, 37, EDD end of February (no exact date with twins)
@Strawberry, 28, EDD 08/03/20
@Ginmonkey84, 34, EDD 16/03/20
@DuvetCaterpillar, 34, EDD 27/03/2020
@Navy123, 29, EDD 10/04/20
@Janey15, 34, EDD 16/04/20
@TinyPaws, 22, EDD 19/04/20
@Flyfisherlady, 37, Edd 24/04/20
@FirstTimeMama91, 28, EDD 06/05/2020

Also tagging @boboelephant and @Yukka just to hope they can pop on and update on their rainbows.

Sorry to anyone I've missed 🐧

Hopefully you will be joining us soon on here though @Jojowash - here is a link to those TTC - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3683219-TTC-after-pregnancy-loss-32-the-penguin-huddle

Great news on the scans @strawberrye and @sadtoday21! But I am so sorry you had such a rubbish experience @sadtoday21. It really makes me mad when healthcare professionals act in this way. Compassion and understanding are such important skills to have in these roles and sadly some people are severely lacking! I would book a private scan but I would also complain. I think an experienced sonographer should be more sensitive, they will have surely seen many women in our position, as well as having to deliver bad news. Sensitively, tact and understanding are essential for the role. I’d definitely feedback.

I am pleased you are feeling better @Twitwooo. Don’t worry too much about being a week ahead. They can date you anytime from 12 weeks and I am pretty sure the screening can be done between 11-14 weeks, so hopefully you still fall within this.

I have gone from feeling pretty positive about this pregnancy to worrying and convincing myself that my bump is measuring big because I have polyhydramnios and that something is going to go wrong. I also feel like movement has changed (not as big kicks) and that this is because there is excess fluid. The midwife said she had no concerns and GTT was negative and she was just referring me for a growth scan to check, but I am now so scared for the scan next Tuesday and convinced they will find something wrong. Really upset as I was finally starting to trust and enjoy this pregnancy. Now that old anxiety has crept back in and I feel negative again! It never ends!

Movements have changed most likely because baby has changed position. God, we are all inventing things to worry about in here aren't we?! When your scan shows polyhyd.... However you say it, isn't an issue hopefulky you can go back to enjoying your pregnancy again. It really is such a magical time, despite the anxiety so I hope you can enjoy those little moments too. X

Just updating the roll call as my EDD has been brought forward 1 day after my 12 week scan, also I made a type on the last thread - I'm 33, not 22!

@Melpops36, 38, EDD 5/12/19
@Beaglemum93, 26, EDD 22/12/19
@Amanda81, 38, EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, 37, EDD 03/01/20
@Laney79, 40, EDD 06/01/20
@Bluebelltulip, 29, EDD 09/01/20
@KnitKitty, 31, EDD 29/01/20
@Newbie21, 38, EDD 06/02/20
@InDreamland, 39, EDD 18/02/20
@Tina363,29, EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer, 29, EDD 28/02/20
@Squiff70, 37, EDD end of February (no exact date with twins)
@Strawberry, 28, EDD 08/03/20
@Ginmonkey84, 34, EDD 16/03/20
@DuvetCaterpillar, 34, EDD 27/03/2020
@ChikiTIKI , 29, EDD 04/04/2020
@Navy123, 29, EDD 10/04/20
@Janey15, 34, EDD 13/04/20
@TinyPaws, 33, EDD 18/04/20
@Flyfisherlady, 37, Edd 24/04/20
@Dimblebimble, 29, EDD 29/4/20
@FirstTimeMama91, 28, EDD 06/05/2020
@SunshineCrocodile, 37, EDD 4/6/2020
@TwittleBee* , 25, EDD 25/06/20

@InDreamland thank you for the new thread, I'm avoiding adding a due date until I know the results of the harmony (going to call them tomorrow to see if results are in) and if ok, then after my nuchal scan a week on Thursday. Feel I'm tempting fate otherwise.
@strawberrye what an adorable scan photo. @sadtoday21 glad you had a good scan but very sorry the experience was so bad. It costs nothing to show some compassion and respect for someone else's feelings. Scans are nerve wracking enough without someone being so unkind.

To all those measuring big, I'm only just eleven weeks and DH is already saying we will have to break cover soon or people will guess (insert embarrassed face here). Usually a size 12 I've gone to a 14 with clothing and waistbands on a 12 digging in a bit much. I'm usually quite slender but this pregnancy hormone has definitely relaxed my stomach muscles - I used to be able to breathe in and now it doesn't make much difference! Goodness knows what I'll be like if this little one keeps growing.

I've just written the longest post, pressed post and it's not there 😭 I'll try again later.

@Kayjay2018 I can't remember if this is your first? I was led to believe I would show later as it's my first baby, I'm slim and used to have stomach muscles. I'm aware this isn't a big bump but I've been like this for weeks now. It used to pretty much disappear in the morning but this was yesterday morning. It's still worse at night though.

Any ideas if this is bump or bloat?

Thanks @rubyroot, that's very sweet of you! I think I'll just try to relax as much as possible and maybe book myself in for the cheaper quick scan this weekend if it all gets too much. I will be 20 weeks on Thursday, so I hope I can feel him moving soon!

@SunshineCrocodile I really appreciated your message and thanks also for the offer to read over my notes! I might take you up on that. I was just confused about why she was doing these colourful things on the screen and then measuring this whooshing noise? And also she took some measurements inside the brain and I have no idea what that measures? I'm just not really sure what to look out for and not well-informed enough :/. How many weeks are you now?

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue thanks so much for your kind words and you are absolutely right. I've written an e-mail to the hospital, but no response thus far and not sure I will get one quite frankly. I'm really sorry to hear that you are worried again, it never seems to end does it! I don't understand the polyhodr...thing and I'm sorry I have no helpful advice, but just wanted to send you hugs and say I am thinking of you for your scan next Tuesday and sure all will be well. I know that's not really helpful, but know that we are all routing for you and this baby Xxx.

@Kayjay2018 thanks, I didn't mean to complain so much when I should just be happy, but it was a very stressful day somehow! Today I've just taken the day to relax and do some light exercise and enjoy life, starting to feel a bit better and more calm again. Do you have your 12 week scan coming up? Don't worry about measuring on the larger side - I think all of us worry about being too big or too small at some point! My mum kept saying how huge I was and that really annoyed me (she said I was as big at 12 weeks as she was at 40 weeks, which is just patently false and I'm a lot slimmer than her), but then I went to my 12 and 20 week scans and definitely felt like the smallest "bump" in the room, which worried me! I see all these enormous bumps and wonder if these women are all 20 weeks too or maybe 36? It's such an individual thing. Totally normal to go up a pants size to be comfortable around the waist - I'm now in my maternity jeans with the elastic band all the time. I think the real "popping" (i.e. looking pregnant and not just bloated) began for me around 16 weeks or maybe just now at 20 weeks, but it could be sooner for you and that's perfectly normal. My bump is finally starting to get really hard and I love it! The bigger the better, as far as I'm concerned :).

@janey15 no doubt its a mixture if it's bigger in the morning. You still look small though. What are you now, about 14 weeks? My friend has tiny frame, first baby, amazing stomach muscles and she showed well early. By 12bweeks she was massive. I don't think theres any rhyme or reason behind it.

I meant bigger in the evening

@janey15 looks like bump to me! And its beautiful! How many weeks are you now? I looked really similar to you from about 16 weeks until more recently - at nearly 20 weeks my bump is actually starting to look more round and definitely protruded!

@rubyroot I'm 15 weeks. I've been constantly bloated from about 7DPO before I had any idea I was pregnant😂 It never went away but has gradually turned into this. I'm going to tell everyone I haven't told yet after my appointment next week if we hear the heartbeat and all seems ok. I'm running out of clothes that hide it 🙈

Sorry @sadtoday21 should have tagged you in that reply too

Actually I'm not sure if it is much worse at night now looking at the picture...

A probably shortened version of the post I lost:

@InDreamland I took the medication again this morning and have felt human again today.

@ChikiTIKI hope your appointment went well today. I've got mine next week and I'm already worried.

@Bluebelltulip hope your headache has eased.

@strawberrye what a lovely photo 💕

@Twitwooo my medication only became effective when I started taking it regularly. I still need it now at 15 weeks although I've only been on 1 per day since 11weeks instead of 3 per day.

@sadtoday21 sorry you had to experience that. I would be very upset if they were like that with me as I get massively anxious in medical appointments and usually cry anyway.

@Jojowash don't worry about posting on the wrong thread - I tried to get in the wrong car today! FWIW I highly recommend ubiquinol as I think it's partly why I'm pregnant now. I also recommend the book 'It starts with the egg'. Happy to answer any questions.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue sorry to hear you are worrying again. We all seem to go round in circles with it.

So I basically got myself in a state today as I've been having feelings of pain/pressure in the bottom of my pelvis that sort of feels like the uti I had last year but I had that checked a couple of weeks ago. Dr google came up with probably nothing dangerous but could be a sign of shortened cervix that needs to be checked out. In my defence I did hold off googling it for nearly three days 🙈 Anyway I rang the midwife who said it could be pain from my pelvis or endometriosis but that she will refer me for physio at out appointment next week. I didn't mention what I'd read as didn't want to seem silly but now I'm not sure I properly described what it feels like so I'm still worried.

Also, @InDreamland please don't worry that you triggered this anxiety for me. I have heard all about it in great detail from a friend of a friend who for some reason cornered me and told me all about her losses at an event last summer.

Really hope this one posts 🤞🏻

That's a cute bump @janey15 !!

Cute pics @strawberrye I'm glad your scan went well.

My 16 week appointment was fine thanks for your support everyone :) heard the heartbeat and all was good. I didn't realise I was supposed to get the whooping cough vaccine at this appointment but apparently they were out of stock so I need to wait till my appointment at 25 weeks. I might ask then I have my scan and midwife appt at the hospital though if I can have it there. Don't really want to have the jab around Christmas Eve.

My 20 week scan isn't until 22nd November which is a Friday, then on the following Monday an appointment about hopefully booking c section, so a while until my next anxiety spike hopefully xxxx

@InDreamland thanks for the new thread.

@strawberrye wonderful news on the scan. Love that she looks like she's poking you in one of the pictures!
I'm a perfectionist so really hate making mistakes in my knitting, but I have learnt not to be too nit-picking as all it achieves is frustration. Much better to leave little mistakes as they are which aren't actually noticeable to other people!

@Twitwooo That must have been difficult having to go through details about the miscarriage. I had my dating scan at 13 weeks 1 day... I think anything up to 14 weeks is fine. Have you had EPU or private scans? Could you get a scan before your dating scan for reassurance first?

@sadtoday21 Great news that baby boy looking good. Sorry the sonographer wasn't good though and the whole experience wasn't a good one. Are you considering making a complaint? I think I would...
I can totally understand wanting to get a private scan after that.

@MyHeartIsBrokenButIHaveSomeGlue I'm sorry the anxiety has crept back again. Get those positive pants hoisted up. Keep repeating that the MW wasn't concerned and try to let it sink in. Stay strong. xxx

@TinyPaws... Sneaky trying to chop a decade off your age!!! Did you patch things up okay with your OH? How are things atm?

@janey15 Looks like the beginnings of a bump to me. Looks lovely.

@ChikiTIKI glad the appointment went well. I got my whooping cough jab at the hospital when I had my 20-week scan. It's worth asking about it...

My growth scan went well today. Baby Girl is growing well so far. I have another scan booked in 4 weeks' time. My consultant was super happy I'd made it past 25 weeks but told baby to stay in there until she comes to get her. She said once I pass 31/32 weeks it's even better.
I noticed on my notes it says something about steroids at my next scan. Not sure if this depends on the outcome of the scan or not... Or if they'll just be putting me on the steroids as a precaution because of the high risk of premature regardless... I'll find out I suppose.
She told me I need to be taking things easy and not over-doing it and I mentioned the heart palpitations/thudding. She said to keep an eye on it, make sure I'm getting plenty of rest and 12 hours sleep a day!!!!!!! (Not sure how I'm supposed to do that...) She said my blood tests at 28 weeks might show up something, but if they don't and it's still continuing they'll do a check. (ECG I guess?)
Anyway, not feeling too concerned and pleased Baby is doing well.
The plan is still to have c-section at 38 weeks, which I'll get the date for at 34 weeks... But if she comes early my consultant said it would be an emergency section by the most senior staff on call that day. We're hoping it doesn't happen that way, but it's good to have a back-up plan.
Must get to bed now... OH has taken the consultant's words on board and has been clucking around me all evening and told me I need to get an early night.

@Melpops36, 38, EDD 5/12/19
@Beaglemum93, 26, EDD 22/12/19
@Amanda81, 38, EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, 37, EDD 03/01/20
@Laney79, 40, EDD 06/01/20
@Bluebelltulip, 29, EDD 09/01/20
@KnitKitty, 31, EDD 29/01/20
@UnicornsandRainsbows1, 29, EDD 29/01/2020
@Newbie21, 38, EDD 06/02/20
@InDreamland, 39, EDD 18/02/20
@Tina363,29, EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer, 29, EDD 28/02/20
@Squiff70, 37, EDD end of February (no exact date with twins)
@Strawberry, 28, EDD 08/03/20
@Ginmonkey84, 34, EDD 16/03/20
@DuvetCaterpillar, 34, EDD 27/03/2020
@ChikiTIKI , 29, EDD 04/04/2020
@Navy123, 29, EDD 10/04/20
@Janey15, 34, EDD 13/04/20
@TinyPaws, 33, EDD 18/04/20
@Flyfisherlady, 37, Edd 24/04/20
@Dimblebimble, 29, EDD 29/4/20
@FirstTimeMama91, 28, EDD 06/05/2020
@SunshineCrocodile, 37, EDD 4/6/2020
@TwittleBee* , 25, EDD 25/06/20

I wasn't sure whether we're just adding bits at the bottom or going by EDD so that'll do How is everyone doing?

Thanks @KnitKitty and @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue , I know it's anywhere between 11-14 weeks. My worry is that they schedule it for the end of the 12th week so 12+5/6 from lmp in which case I'll be more like 13+5/6 and what if I'm measuring a bit big on top of that and I'll be pushed towards the 14 week mark. But as the midwife said I can always call and come up with a reason to move it slightly earlier to settle myself, just hoping they'll schedule it for before 12+4 from lmp and I won't worry. Kinda wish I lied to the midwife now about my lmp 🙈
I haven't had any scans as I'm anxious about irritating things down there to cause any sort of spotting, so waiting patiently (not very) for the 12 week scan as i know it's abdominal.

@janey15 that's a cute little bump! By what you are saying about your meds I'm assuming your on cyclizine. It's good that you see improvement with just the one pill a day. When I was pregnant with DD I was on it for the full 3 pills a day, it did help but basically knocked me out most of the time - apparently that was ok when I had no toddler to entertain all day but when I tried again in this pregnancy it sadly made me feel pretty rubbish with the side effects and didn't help enough for me to be able to justify taking it. I am now on prochlorperazine which seems to help enough to keep me from crying all day and leaves me functioning to deal with dd. I hope to not need it past the 28 tablets I was given but we'll have to wait and see.. sickness is very difficult to deal with isn't it?

Thanks for the new thread @InDreamland

Updating the rollcall now I have my c-section booked in! For New Year's Eve!

Sorry I've not posted much, I have been trying to keep up but it's a bit anxious at work (sorting mat leave and shared parental leave with a threat of cuts isn't ideal!) and I'm pretty shattered. I'm 29+2 today and growing a Kung fu master I reckon from the kicking! Growth scan (because I'm ancient) Today and consultant appt.

So pleased to see so many familiar names doing so well, and wonderful to hear all went well for you @Boboelephant

@Melpops36, 38, EDD 5/12/19
@Beaglemum93, 26, EDD 22/12/19
@Amanda81, 38, EDD 27/12/19
@Laney79, 40, EDD 31/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, 37, EDD 03/01/20
@Bluebelltulip, 29, EDD 09/01/20
@KnitKitty, 31, EDD 29/01/20
@UnicornsandRainsbows1, 29, EDD 29/01/2020
@Newbie21, 38, EDD 06/02/20
@InDreamland, 39, EDD 18/02/20
@Tina363,29, EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer, 29, EDD 28/02/20
@Squiff70, 37, EDD end of February (no exact date with twins)
@Strawberry, 28, EDD 08/03/20
@Ginmonkey84, 34, EDD 16/03/20
@DuvetCaterpillar, 34, EDD 27/03/2020
@ChikiTIKI , 29, EDD 04/04/2020
@Navy123, 29, EDD 10/04/20
@Janey15, 34, EDD 13/04/20
@TinyPaws, 33, EDD 18/04/20
@Flyfisherlady, 37, Edd 24/04/20
@Dimblebimble, 29, EDD 29/4/20
@FirstTimeMama91, 28, EDD 06/05/2020
@SunshineCrocodile, 37, EDD 4/6/2020
@TwittleBee* , 25, EDD 25/06/20

@Twitwooo I've got promethezine which is similar to cyclizine. Initially I had to take it at full dose for about 4 weeks and I did get used to the tiredness and even went back to work. I hope you feel better soon as it's so horrible.

@Melpops36, 38, EDD 5/12/19
@Beaglemum93, 26, EDD 22/12/19
@Amanda81, 38, EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, 37, EDD 03/01/20
@Laney79, 40, EDD 06/01/20
@Bluebelltulip, 29, EDD 09/01/20
@KnitKitty, 31, EDD 29/01/20
@UnicornsandRainsbows1, 29, EDD 29/01/2020
@Newbie21, 38, EDD 06/02/20
@InDreamland, 39, EDD 18/02/20
@Tina363,29, EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer, 29, EDD 28/02/20
@Squiff70, 37, EDD end of February (no exact date with twins)
@Strawberry, 28, EDD 08/03/20
@Ginmonkey84, 34, EDD 16/03/20
@DuvetCaterpillar, 34, EDD 27/03/2020
@ChikiTIKI , 29, EDD 04/04/2020
@Navy123, 29, EDD 10/04/20
@Catconfusion, 40, EDD 12/04/20
@Janey15, 34, EDD 13/04/20
@TinyPaws, 33, EDD 18/04/20
@Flyfisherlady, 37, Edd 24/04/20
@Dimblebimble, 29, EDD 29/4/20
@FirstTimeMama91, 28, EDD 06/05/2020
@SunshineCrocodile, 37, EDD 4/6/2020
@TwittleBee* , 25, EDD 25/06/20

I thought I'd update. @janey15 we're so close! Easter Sunday and Monday 😍

@ChikiTIKI glad the appointment went well!

@strawberrye lovely scan pic. Glad all is well with baby!

@sadtoday21 sorry you had such a poor experience, that sonographer needs some training in bedside manner. Glad though that baby is okay.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue sorry your anxiety is raised again. It's so hard isn't it to stay positive for long. Try to remind yourself that you are being looked after by the medical professionals and everything should be okay in the end (I know I need to take my own advice).

@Kayjay2018 I think despite my best efforts to hide this pregnancy a lot of colleagues had guessed I was pregnant from 10 weeks until I finally stopped hiding it at 18 weeks. I thought I could just pass belly off as carrying a little extra weight......... obviously not!

@janey15 that's a cute little bump there! Speak again to your midwife about any concerns you have, they have heard it all before and will know what to do. Hope you can get whatever support you need to feel more confident things are well with this pregnancy.

@TinyPaws hahaha that's so funny chopping your age right down (I feel like doing that). How are things with your DP now? Hope she is being more supportive and stopped smoking.

@KnitKitty glad the growth scan went well! Definitely get as much rest as you can, great that your DH is supporting that (more than I can say about mine!!!!!).

@Laney79 lovely to hear from you. Hope things work out okay with sorting mat leave etc. out. Good luck for your scan and appointment today!!!

I know! My DH was born on Easter Day but he's hoping for a birthday present on the 20th 😂

Have you joined the April 2020 Facebook group?

Sorry should have tagged @Catconfusion in that reply.

@janey15 Arh that would be lovely. An expensive month in the future 😂. Yes I'm on the April group. It's so nice to be going through this with other people, especially after loss! X