It's sneeze birth's galore thanks to our fanny stretchers! We're soaking in piss and praying for Bat's hospital bag. We're avoiding our mens 'Annie Sloaners' and eating all the cake! It's JS Gras 39!

[jellypi3]

Welcome, welcome, welcome to the 39th grads thread... celebrating the success of Just Shagging in getting us viroids upduffed!

For those that don't know, a 'viroid' is from the original JSing thread 1, where someone was trying to type ladies (in reference to all the JSing ladies), but their phone decided to call us all viroids instead!

The name stuck and we've been the JSing viroids ever since.

The 37th grads fred is HERE

The thread we have graduated from is HERE in its 53rd outing. WARNING: they're all a bit kerazy not to mention randy!

There is also a Just Mumming thread HERE for once your babies come along, or to keep up with the graduated graduates!

There is also a private facebook group (so it doesn't give the game away in your news feed!)... if you want to join to see photos of new babies etc, just ask in-thread!

HERE is the stats list, please update your own spot with any updates.

I feel poor. Just bought our pram, car seat Base and adapters. Ouch my bank balance!

Ooh but exciting jelly! What did you go for?

carrot thyroid problems will make you feel totally crazy. No wonder you reacted like that! Work stuff can be so stressful... I run a business and some days I can barely face it... You're not alone.

Ooh Jelly what did you get?!

What is your business Sky? If you can say without outing yourself?

Got paint for the nursery today, squee!

Evening viroids. Hope everyone is well.

pud what have you gone for?

I had my first driving lesson with an actual instructor today. He thinks I will pass before baby comes. Actually his words were "yeah piece of piss love"

Ha would I like the sound of your instructor! How was the lesson?

I'm still on my One Born Every Minute marathon, can't decide if I'm terrified or cool about the whole situation. However I did get 9cm on the epi-no for the 2nd day in a row, woohoo! Is a baby's head really only 10 cm? Looks very small!

Yeah it was alright. Got told off for not wearing my glasses when he realised I couldn't read the plates, he said I was a greedy cow for using both sides of the road when driving round a car park, I'm better at reverse parking than I thought, other drivers are knobheads and tosspots apparently, and every time I did something right he would say "very nice" in a borat style voice.

Congrats on the baggy fanny! I can't wait to get mine lol

would if he tells you its OK to park on double yellows 'as long as you've got your hazards on' run for the hills! DH's instructor told him this (and a load of other shite) and when I found out it became a very panicked hunt for a new instructor in time for the birth of DS! He passed with ten days spare in the end, four to my edd. Luckily he works well under pressure!

Ha, sounds like a character Would!

I've got green, yellow and cream. Was going to go green and yellow but think it was be touch colour... Think I'm over thinking it!

Excellent work Bat!

We went for the icandy peach 3, and a cyber car seat isofix thing (someone gave us the car seat ). Also managed to lock ourselves out the house (long story), so bought a wooden spoon from tesco to try and open the door, only to be hindered by giant ginger cat swiping our hands through the letter box.

bat I think their heads change shape during birth?

KLAXON!! Your resident Epi no expert here, worry not!

bat get in, that's awesome! The reason it looks so different thinking about the baby's head and the epi no, is that they measure babies heads not around evenly, but on an angle. They take the tape measure and go round on a diagonal at the very widest part. The baby should come out with their head at the proper angle which means it will be roughly 10cm diameter, as has to fit through your cervix. Keep going for 10 woman, you are SO close! Def hot it up to twice a day, come on!!

I think someone gave a description before when I was asking about head stuff, was it carrot? About the head being like an egg laid slightly on its side?

We do internetty things pud despite my general hopelessness...

Ah thanks indigo that makes sense! Makes me feel better as well because I know I'm not up to full size yet and I know I don't have all other labour crap to deal with when I'm epi-no-ing but it doesn't really feel too bad squeezing it out - I know the real thing will be totally different but I though it would be worse even with the epi-no. The worst bit is actually when it's in there inflated, that makes me feel like I want to poo which makes me wary of inflating further - going for 10cm this weekend!

lolololololll Jelly, love the image of your monster cat thinking the spoon is a game and clawing the shit out of your hands. Sorry

Ooh my cousin is in labour! She is a week overdue - she is getting in the first great grandchild for my grandma right before me, how rude! So excited for her, she is 3cm dilated so hoping I wake up to some news!

Keep us informed of your cousin bat.

Was it Thursday and bat who spoke of post partum night sweats? My goodness its so true. The amount of fluid that comes off me overnight is terrifying.
Lost another 7lb in the last 7 days. Its no doubt all that sweating!

Ooh molly cleaned my bathroom with the steam cleaner last night. Totally agree that it simply drips boiling water over everything. I fucked it off in the end and used a bleachy sponge.

Stop fucking cleaning woman! You've just pushed a human out of you..... I think you've covered your fair share of the chores for a while

Wow ga I can't believe you're doing all this cleaning, there is no way I'm telling my mr bat that there are superwomen like you in the world! Yep I had been informed of the night sweats - sounds minging other than the weight loss potential.

No news from my cousin this morning, can't decide whether to be that annoying person who messages her to see how it's going!

Morning.

bat gx for your cousin :)

ga calm down woman. You are putting us all to shame lol

So sleep is becoming an issue for me. If I lay on my left my hips and back hurt. If I lay on my right they hurt. If I lay on my back I know cardinal sin but I need some sleep right it hurts. Any tips? I've tried the dream genii, pillows between legs, getting dp to massage. Nothing works. :(

Jelly sorry lovely. Blow to the head each night? Have you got a decent mattress? Maybe a memory foam topper would help.

Ga stop it.

Bat exciting!

Guess who's in a Cosmo article??? I'm number 5. I think you will all find my story heart rending and thought provoking here

ga! I am crying with laughter you legend.

jelly it's shit isn't it. Keep going with the pillows (I'm using giant 12ft sausage pillow in combination with a small wedge that I sometimes put under my hip or bump and sometimes a big wedge if I get reflux) and I'm also doing some other things the physio class suggested: duvet under the sheet to soften the surface you're lying on, this spreads the weight from just your hip joint; this camp stretch attached in the pic but holding onto a wall (lean towards the wall) and you don't have to bend so far sideways as this dude; making sure to sit symmetrically and not legs crossed during the day, with good back support. My pains have been less bad, for now! GX something helps.

Trying to lever my arse out of bed as I've got twenty minutes to shower, eat breakfast and leave.

ga you are fucking hilarious.

Thanks pret ill try some of that, I'm off to Spain today so quickly least I can chill out in the 30 degree heat ;)