The hugely supportive thread in memory of all our twinkling little stars, bobbing sunflowers and dancing butterflies supporting those bereaved by the loss of a child

[peterpansmum]

In memory of our gorgeous Gregor

I wonder who he took after ? xx

No idea love

Hi Shabs, how are you doing? Lot's of ball shaking going on I hope.

I'm thinking of you all and will be lighting a candle for your darling Matt xxx

Thank you moveit - yes plenty of ball shaking going on and on the multiple mums thread as well Matt would get the biggest laugh because Im talking about balls on two MN threads!! xx

Well soon it will be 'another day' - 'another day' to paint on my fake smile - today has not been as bad as I thought it would be (it never is) and Lew has been on fine form this afternoon. He is recognising colours although does tell me that everything he likes is lellow!! He looked at the picture on my FB profile and tilted his head to one side.....he stared for a while and said 'Mama it not Dada - who it?' I said 'Uncle Matt' - he spent the rest of the day pointing at the picture and saying 'Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt!.'

I have been reading a book of poems today - all written by a woman who lost her adult son who was called Matthew. The end of one of the poems kind of sums up the way Im feeling today:-

So tears of longing, long will flow,
for the loveliness I will not know,
as time and reality,
side by side,
force my mind to open wide.
to all the joys I've been denied.
For never will I hug
with earthly pride,
the man I knew you'd grow to be.
Nor kiss your children,
tell them stories;
hold them, lovingly close to me.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePVl57kS1ZY&feature=related

This was Matts favourite school hymn - we sang it at his funeral which was attended by at least 100 of his schoolfriends. They all stood up and sang it as loudly and with as much joy as the children on the video. The adults joined in and it ended up filling the whole building with smiles, tears and the little 'uns cheering.....also want to dedicate this to all our 'lost' children (of any age) xxxx

Big hugs to you Shabs (((((((((((((()))))))))))))

A candle has been lit her all day for your gorgeous boy x I love that song , it always brings a smile to my face xx

Thank you TW - and thanks to all of you - you are all always there for me - when Im having a wobbly time. I appreciate your friendship so much.

Everybody who came to Matts funeral said afterwards 'I know this will sound very weird but that was amazing!'

Have been thinking of you today Shabs xxx

Thank you Lottie - its been a weird, quiet day....roll on Matts 26th birthday in June...that is, for me, a massive day of celebration xx

Have been thinking of you and your boys today Shabs esp Matt - huge hugs for you xx Gregor's favourite colour was 'lellow' - We've got a book called 'wobble bear says yellow' - Lew's made me think about it tonight ... with a smile! I looovvve 'lellow' too! xx

Im glad Lew made you smile darling - he has done that all afternoon with me....

Me: Do you love me Lew

Lew: No Mama (he now calls me Mamma??)

Me: Do you love your Grandma Anne

Lew: yes, yes, yes, ut ot u (but not you!!)

Then he set off running because he knew I was going to catch him and wrestle with him!!

He has been my lifesaver today xxxxxxx

'Out of the mouths of babes' Shabs - as much as we as adults think we're teaching them about life i think kids have so much more they constantly teach us xx Give him an extra squeeze from me

Not a problem my love - even though two of my sons are not physically here I am a very, very lucky Mum and Mamma - so very lucky xxx

Morning girls - should not have had that last drink last night!!

Morning x

It is always that last one that buggers up the head I find .

How you doing this morning ?

Doing much better thank you - all got a bit overwhelming yesterday....

morning hope everyone okxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Morning all.

Glad to hear you're feeling better Shabs. It can sometimes feel like such a relief that the day is over, and then you can pick yourself up again.

just been unexpectedly snivelling at GB's leaving speech, what cute children!

shabs I hope you're OK today. I am BFing so rarely drink a thing but resolve broke last night and had mucho vino tinto and some beer and whisky [eugh] woke up with a horrific headache, couldn't remember why! Luckily DS doesn't feed at night anymore!

anyway maybe I'm still tipsy I'm rambling, thoughts are still with you today Shabs xxx

I really, really like Gordon Brown - I think he is a caring and honourable man. When his little baby girl, Jennifer, died I sent them a sympathy card because I felt so moved by her death. Within a few days I was sent a beautiful card with a picture of Jennifer on the front....just to say thank you for my card. Good luck in whatever you choose to do Mr Brown - you will be sadly missed in this little corner of Lancashire x

aww yes best of luck Gordon and Sarah. I think he's had a lot of bad bad press and a lot of it has been unfair.

Sarah Brown looked so close to tears....she looked really poorly. For me, personally, this is a sad day in politics.

Morning girls xx