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Original poster

My ickle big brother. [sad]

301 replies

shelleylou · 19/10/2009 13:25

My brother was killed early hours of this morning. Dont know too many details as an investigation has been opened only that he would have died almost instantly and he's unmarked.
I feel so guilty i wasnt there for him when he needed me (always been like that with each other)I woke up with a start about that time and knew this morning that something was very wrong. Im going to mortuary later to see him, im dreading it as its going to make it seam more real but i have to do it for him id never forgive myself if i didnt. Atm it doesnt seam real its all just abad dream. RIP bro love you loads

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 19/10/2009 13:26

So sorry to hear this.

How awful.

weblette · 19/10/2009 13:26

So sorry shelleylou x

laughalot · 19/10/2009 13:26

Oooh shelly im so sorry, big hugs to you. Take one day at a time and remember its ok to cry xxx

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 19/10/2009 13:27

sorry to hear your terrible news..take care..

BecauseImWorthIt · 19/10/2009 13:27

So sorry

Cometrickortreatingwithme · 19/10/2009 13:29

I'm sorry Shelley .

NormaStanleyFletcher · 19/10/2009 13:30

What a shock that must be.

So sorry

Mcdreamy · 19/10/2009 13:30

Oh Shelley xxx so sorry

Lilyloooohhhh · 19/10/2009 13:30

so sorry

LordVetinarisApprentice · 19/10/2009 13:32

I'm so sorry ShelleyLou What a terrible shock, take care of yourself

Original poster
shelleylou · 19/10/2009 13:36

All ive done all day is cry, cant have many tears left got dp here with me my mum phoned him at work first thing so i have him with me. DS doesnt know whats going on all hes seen is me his uncle and grandparents in tears. I dont want to believe it. My brother wouldnt either and went upstairs to phone him.

OP posts:
YouLukaAmazing · 19/10/2009 13:39

Message withdrawn

Original poster
shelleylou · 19/10/2009 13:50

Thanks to you all. Would appreciate good vibes got mortuary at 4 with my youngest brother so we can support each other when we go in, not sure if my parents are going to see him again but are taking us there. Going to raise a glass to him later aswell think im going to get some Jack Daniels as it was his favorite.
apologies for spelling

OP posts:
Lilyloooohhhh · 19/10/2009 21:27

How did it go Shelley ?

Original poster
shelleylou · 20/10/2009 08:57

it was awful was soooooooooo hoping it wasnt him!!! but my parents couldnt have made mistaken him when they identified him in the morning. Originally my parents got a phone call telling them that we couldnt go cos they were moving him mum managed to get them too rearrange when they were.
It was so different to what i thought it would be like. No steel table if it was it couldnt been seen as that. Purple velvet pillow trimmed with gold under his head covered with a purple blanket and clothed in a hospital gown. He was at peace was no bad vibes around him. It looked like him but it didnt prob cos his colour was changing. He was so cold, only marks on him were those from the trauma collar. We said goodbye as a familyto him my youngest brother fainted hes completely devested its hit him so hard. had time with him on his own aswell told him to tell me what happened. I love him and ds does, hes always watched over me and i know he still will. I could swear his lips moved when i said it to him, think i told him that ds would grow up knowing about it but i cant remember.

Raised jack daniels and coke to him afterwards, we were joined by or his mates my best friend and some of my other bros. Wish id got to mums a bit earlier tho missed the liason officers but there coming today and ill be there. Were thinking of going to lay flowers where he died later on. Have to go tell one of his other close friends later too, managed to get the address from him by going to a mutual mates house.

I want blood

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 20/10/2009 09:02

so sorry

Original poster
shelleylou · 20/10/2009 09:05

why did it have to be him not the other lad?? did he try to help my brother or leave it too late?
I want him to feel as much pain as we are a jail sentance isnt going to cover it.

Such a waste of a life he was only 22

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 20/10/2009 09:07

if you feel up to it, what happened? i am confused

Tortington · 20/10/2009 09:10

sorry for your loss

Original poster
shelleylou · 20/10/2009 09:11

just me ranting. All we know which we are debating as its not him. Apparently he was a pillion passenger on a friends motorbike fell off and was hit by a car. He wouldnt ride pillion unless the rider was experience ive only known him to do it with 1 man and hes been on bikes for years possibly another but not this lad.
Think hes lying cos hes guilty. What hes saying isnt my brother

OP posts:
WartoScreamo · 20/10/2009 09:14

Oh shelley - how terrible! for you and so sorry that this has happened. Wishing you and your family much strength.

herbietea · 20/10/2009 09:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
shelleylou · 20/10/2009 09:19

Just found it in the paperset me off again. Havent named him dont think they are allowd to though cos the investigation. Got to pop round my neighbours later apologise for last night was screamin for ages. Thanks think we need all the stregnth we can get

OP posts:
frazzledazzle · 20/10/2009 09:19

I'm sorry for your loss shelleylou.

Sending love to you and your family x

Original poster
shelleylou · 20/10/2009 09:22

Just want to wake up and it all be a really messed up nightmare

OP posts: