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Bereavement

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Original poster

My ickle big brother. [sad]

301 replies

shelleylou · 19/10/2009 13:25

My brother was killed early hours of this morning. Dont know too many details as an investigation has been opened only that he would have died almost instantly and he's unmarked.
I feel so guilty i wasnt there for him when he needed me (always been like that with each other)I woke up with a start about that time and knew this morning that something was very wrong. Im going to mortuary later to see him, im dreading it as its going to make it seam more real but i have to do it for him id never forgive myself if i didnt. Atm it doesnt seam real its all just abad dream. RIP bro love you loads

OP posts:
Original poster
shelleylou · 21/10/2009 01:23

they are mostly true too, he wouldnt have felt any pain

OP posts:
alwayslookingforanswers · 21/10/2009 20:00

How you doing today Shell?

Original poster
shelleylou · 21/10/2009 21:23

still wishing it was all a dream. Pissed of at the newspaper they cant copy a card from what they saw or the close up of it and cant get db's name right. Should be an ammendment in tomorrows paper only managed to get that cos im a relative. Then put me on the spot asking if i wanted to say anything about him that would go in tomorrows edition. cant do that without my parents and bro. Got through all his friends list on FB n recieved lots of supportive comments and a few arsey ones. Nearly nutted the pharmacy assistant for telling me 'smile it cant be that bad'

Have a provisional date for the funeral but need the paperwork before it can take place.

OP posts:
everlong · 21/10/2009 21:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

everlong · 21/10/2009 21:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
shelleylou · 21/10/2009 21:49

thanks everlong. I've got an ongoing deal with dp since yesterday im allowd an alcholic drink if i have something to eat and food comes first. Just managing to eat very small amounts even for my ds. Got some sleeping tablets from doctor didnt even have to go and see them which was good it was as though theres a note on my file, saw my name and he phoned back within 5 mins of me putting phone down to the receptionist.

OP posts:
kid · 21/10/2009 22:07

Really sorry to hear your sad news. Death is difficult whatever the circumstances, but even harder when it happens out of the blue like this.

Take care of yourself and just take one day at a time.

alwayslookingforanswers · 21/10/2009 22:16

Glad you're keeping up your part of the deal with DP over the food/alcohol

VaginaShmergina · 21/10/2009 22:18

Hi shelleylou, I am so very sorry for your loss and completely understand the raw pain you are going through. I am in East Hampshire and wondered if there is anything I can do to help ??

alwayslookingforanswers · 21/10/2009 22:18

a few arsey comments wtf??

Original poster
shelleylou · 21/10/2009 22:19

its so hard cos of all the lies and the fact that he didnt just die he was killed

OP posts:
alwayslookingforanswers · 21/10/2009 22:21

I know it's so crap, I thought of you today when I ran out of words to write.

You managed to do any shopping at all (food stuff etc?)

Original poster
shelleylou · 21/10/2009 22:25

thanks VS i cant even think where east hampshire is. Im in northants. i cant even think of what i need atm.

ye including

wtf are you joking
whos this? (erm look who sent the message)
why are you posting this? cos im his fucking sister and his friends need to know,

OP posts:
Original poster
shelleylou · 21/10/2009 22:26

im guessing coffee,sugar, vodka and coke dont count. i got some drumsticks earlier n scott made us soup

OP posts:
alwayslookingforanswers · 21/10/2009 22:27

oh that's shite .

I can sort of understand the are you joking comments......you know it's a bloody shock and all, but to ask why you're posting it, or who you are !

VaginaShmergina · 21/10/2009 22:28

Apologies Shelley I am in Hampshire and I think you are in a totally different place. My little brother died in a car accident 19 years ago still remember it as if was yesterday.

Original poster
shelleylou · 21/10/2009 22:30

ye i can too but after the umpteenth time its a bit much and gets very much 'why would i joke abbout it'

yep cheeky bint then went on to say she didnt really know him but wanted to know what happened she had the shortest version ever, not even giving any detail. in accident

OP posts:
alwayslookingforanswers · 21/10/2009 22:32
  • she didn't really know him but wanted to know what happened????

stupid bint should have picked up a paper - or even just looked online.

Going to run and get a shower, have sent you a FB message.

Original poster
shelleylou · 21/10/2009 22:33

i know there different places just not sure where bouts hampshire is. Im sorry to hear about your loss. Just talking to a friend who lost his elder brother nearly a year ago

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alwayslookingforanswers · 21/10/2009 22:34

Hampshire down on the south coast - aprrox half way across

VaginaShmergina · 21/10/2009 22:38

It is not until you suffer a sudden loss that you realise how many other have too. There is plenty of support here on MN and plenty of us to listen.

Never feel like you are rambling or dumping, talking here helps and I wish MN existed all those years ago.

Keep up the eating little and often and try not to let the booze prop you up too much.

Big hugs

Original poster
shelleylou · 21/10/2009 22:38

ye nowhere near me.

OP posts:
VaginaShmergina · 21/10/2009 22:38

Thats me always, bout 45 minutes in land tho.

Original poster
shelleylou · 21/10/2009 22:42

its to help me try get some sleep as much as anything had a few last night not loads though, monday was a different story. I dont feel like im making sense half the time. I knew my friend lost his brother i know the whole family. I knew the loss would have been awful but only now can i understand

OP posts:
VaginaShmergina · 21/10/2009 22:46

And I had no idea how awful it was for my parents until I had my kids and now I have no bloody idea how the fuck they coped.

Everything is so fresh and so raw for you right now, I'm not knocking you for having a drink shelley, not at all. Just aware of what it can do if relied on too much.

I see you have found the other thread too. They are a great bunch on there and I dip in and out every now and then.

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