My ickle big brother. [sad]

[shelleylou]

My brother was killed early hours of this morning. Dont know too many details as an investigation has been opened only that he would have died almost instantly and he's unmarked.
I feel so guilty i wasnt there for him when he needed me (always been like that with each other)I woke up with a start about that time and knew this morning that something was very wrong. Im going to mortuary later to see him, im dreading it as its going to make it seam more real but i have to do it for him id never forgive myself if i didnt. Atm it doesnt seam real its all just abad dream. RIP bro love you loads

ShelleyLou- I'm so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your family at this difficult time. Rest Peacefully, ShelleyLou's brother.

I'm so sorry Shelley

Oh Shelly this is such awful news.
im so very sorry for your loss

Oh goodness, poor you
I am so sorry for your and your family's loss, Shelley.

always, ive been told that so many times today eating doesnt enter my mind dont feel like i can eat. Just had to phone mutual friends to tell them noone believes it luckily was the one call for both of them. He told me to cut bak on the fags. Going through his facebook atm and sending his friends messages with it

So sorry to read this. Sending you love and strength.

He's at peace knew that yesterday when i saw him. Just glad hes not stuck where he was killed

just a nibble of toast, a crisp, supernoodles, anything. It's not going to make things any better, but food will stop you getting run down.

Or else get your DP to go out and get you some of those protein drink thingsy just so you don't get ill.

Don't worry about cutting back on the fags right now, caffeine, nicotine is fine (with a little other nourishment thrown in) especially in these early days.

its all caffeine mostly from coffee and nicotine. will try have something in a bit

I've just managed something to eat. It wasnt much but i had it. Made a deal with DP if i ate something i could have a vodka and coke. Some of DB's friends have replied to my message. He ment so much to so many people just a travisty that this had to happen to know that.

glad you've managed to eat something .

You've got a good DP there.

Dont really know why i bothered it didnt taste of anything and made me feel ill but still means i cant get whinged at anymore for it today. i know i have, ive got him completely till friday at earliest.

So sorry

thanks cornsilk. cant believe hes gone keep asking why him not the other lad. Just want something/someone to take this pain away

I remember when my Dad died suddenly (natural causes) I felt that it wasn't fair. I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling.

So sorry shelleylou Glad always has seen this.

me too she phoned me earlier while i was laying flowers on behalf of myself and dp and my ds. Phoned her back not long afterwards

Shelleylou, thats very sad. I'm so sorry.

He was very young.
I hope you can remember happy moments with him sweetheart.x

he was its such a waste of a life. he was 18 months younger than me part of the reason we were so close. Been told by one of his friends this evening that he spoke of me a lot. The ones that have replied to my message have added me as friends on FB and said they are there if i want to talk.

Where are you Shellylou? Do you need any help - shopping etc?

im in northants. I have no idea what ive got in my cupboards or fridge freezer. I havent even looked i know ive got coffee

yes I said plenty of foot in mouth things too. Wasn't sure if I was being much help with some of what I said .

That's not near me. ((hugs)) though.

thanks hugs are more than welcome atm

(((((hugs))))))

Thinking of you x