Harry's thread for bereaved mums , Wether its a hand to hold or a shoulder to cry on we are all here one for all and all for one .

[travellingwilbury]

Many thanks to ILike for passing on the baton to myself and Harry . I know we are a bit previous but I am worried I will get the timing wrong .

I feel like I have only been here a wee while but it is invaluable to me .

This is a poem that has helped me in the past .

I have not turned my back on you
So there is no need to cry.
I'm watching you from heaven
Just beyond the morning sky.

I've seen you almost fall apart
When you could barely stand.
I asked an angel to comfort you
And watched her take your hand.

She told me you are in more pain
Than I could ever be.
She wiped her eyes and swallowed hard
Then gave your hand to me.

Although you may not feel my touch
Or see me by your side.
I've whispered that I love you
While I wiped each tear you cried.

So please try not to ache for me
We'll meet again one day.
Beyond the dark and stormy sky
A rainbow lights the way.

Shabs, i am sorry it made you cry... did you hear my bit as well? after 8 am about 8.17 i emailed in to thank Ruth and Aled read it out!

No it wasn't sad crying - if you get what I mean! It was overwhelming to hear my boys names read out.

Well - we now have a safety gate on the stairs, a massive pack of nappies, toys, high chair, baby wipes, food and drink!!! All ready for Lew tomorrow. Dan and Em just bought all the stuff for us This is going to be one hell of an adventure!! xxx

Yes I heard your email Lottie -

How exciting Shabs.........Im waiting for my washing machine to be delivered by Mr Gardener...it was due here yesterday morning!!!! I have his dinner here but i may hold it ransom till i get my washing machine!!

Holding dinner to ransom sounds a fab idea Lottie

Well folks, i have just near damn had a fucking breakdown. Brogan fell off my bed this morning. I'd put her there as usual, in a nest of pillows while i was getting dressed, and she was fine, i bent down to get a t-shirt from the drawer, and out of the corner of my eye, i saw her fall. There was a dull thud and she hit sthe floor face first, then her head and neck twisted, and soft of bent back with her body hanging upside down along the side of the bed. I thought she was dead, i really did. I was right back there with Ciaran and it scared be so so much. After four hours in A&E though, she's okish. She has a lovely big egg on her forehead, the start of a black eye, and a very sore neck. I've to take her back if she starts to be sick or if she stops moving her head. It gave me such a fright and i feel so bloody guilty. My poor baby.

Poor you Dee..........Hugs for you. It must have been so scary for you..........

Happy birthday to your dd Lighthouse....I hope the party went off ok........ I didnt hold Mr GM's tea to ransome i went round and delivered it a short while ago. He is actually going to eat it tonight instead of letting it ferment for a few days!!! He says he will get the washing machine delivered this week some time!!!

OMG Dee - sounds terrifying. Hope you are all ok now. Sending hugs xx

Deep breath Dee. I know this is falling on deaf ears but don't beat yourself up about it, it pretty much happens to every mum. Give Brogan a kiss from me and pour yourself a stiff drink to settle the nerves.

Thanks folks. She seems ok at the moment, but i can't stop myself from giving her a nudge every so often, just to make sure...

I'm having a really bad evening here! I think listening to this morning has upset me more than i thought.......... I just feel like i should have both my boys with me... I know Jack is with me but i want him here physically so i can hug him like i hug Wilf. If i have helped to help others then i suppose that is good.

AWWW lottie

I havent listened yet.. I will once dh hubby goes to bed and I can listen in peace

but I know exactly what you mean about wishing Jack was here for a phyiscal cuddle

I think sometimes when we are helping and/or supporting others by sharing we dont realise just how much strength it takes. You dont feel it at the time.. its later your guard comes down and the tears start. Unfortunately its normal on this crappy road

I always say when grief comes welling back into your life, take time to acknowledge it and do what your heart tells you .. cry shout whatever feels right

You are a strong lady and this will pass again

take care

Dee

glad Brogan is ok..you must have been in a blind panic..

try not to worry I dont know any mothers who dont tell the tale of the child falling off the bed

Think you need a brandy tonight ...

Oh Lottie - I know what you mean. I was just overwhelmed hearing our stories and our childrens names being read out loud. Felt like I was listening about someone else. xxxx

Hot Chocolate

This was the song they played before the interview started on the radio this morning.

Thought it was very appropriate - its something we all do for each other on our thread 'I'll put you together again.'

Glad to know all you ladies....just wish we had met on a AIBU thread

I'll always be thinking of this morning when i hear this song now!!

Night all xxxx

I used to love Hot Chocolate - the group not the drink When the opening bars started I knew what the song was and I just listened properly to the words - they are just us lot

Night honey xxxx

Dee, you poor thing, don't beat yourself up, glad Brogan is okay.

Hope everyone else is okay. xx

Hiya Lighthouse - all ok here - I think

Hi Shabs, I listened to the radio piece and heard you and Lottie mentioned and of course your darling boys. It was all very moving.

DD had her party today, 25 kids running around, total bedlam but they enjoyed it! So glad its over.

It was very moving - Tom was chuffed to bits that he got a mention - I think sometimes he is a bit envious of his older brothers. Envious because Gareth and Matt have become 'little angels who never did anything wrong ' I suppose its difficult for our children born after their brothers or sisters have died.

Glad the party went well - its exhausting isin't it? xxxx

can you help here ladies

thanks