Harry's thread for bereaved mums , Wether its a hand to hold or a shoulder to cry on we are all here one for all and all for one .

[travellingwilbury]

Many thanks to ILike for passing on the baton to myself and Harry . I know we are a bit previous but I am worried I will get the timing wrong .

I feel like I have only been here a wee while but it is invaluable to me .

This is a poem that has helped me in the past .

I have not turned my back on you
So there is no need to cry.
I'm watching you from heaven
Just beyond the morning sky.

I've seen you almost fall apart
When you could barely stand.
I asked an angel to comfort you
And watched her take your hand.

She told me you are in more pain
Than I could ever be.
She wiped her eyes and swallowed hard
Then gave your hand to me.

Although you may not feel my touch
Or see me by your side.
I've whispered that I love you
While I wiped each tear you cried.

So please try not to ache for me
We'll meet again one day.
Beyond the dark and stormy sky
A rainbow lights the way.

morning.. had a huge long lie this morning

DH took ross downstairs to watch cartoons at 7am and I went back to sleep till 9am..

BLISS!!!

I vaguely remember a time when I didnt kow 9am existed on a saturday

Dee - beautiful pics on Facebook - your DD looks so beautiful in her outfit - have you watched the film (ignore the spelling) Lemoney Snicketts?? She really reminds me of the toddler in that film - so cute.

xx

Can I gate crash? I really really am struggling to cope this evening. Really stuck in a bad place.

Whats up Giraffe?

Hello everyone.

Hi chegirl backround Not sure how to move past this evening feel so overwhelmed by grief and saddness.

Hey Girrafe x

I cant tell you how to get past this dark time. You can only really get through it and it takes its own time. There is nothing wrong with how you are feeling, nothing odd or selfish. Your grief has been triggered and that is entirely natural.

Its ok to cry and cry and cry. Its ok to step back a little from your friend's crisis without abandoning her. Its ok to tell her you care about what is happening but you are finding it a bit difficult. Be honest and if she is a true friend she will understand.

We all have time when our grief threatens to overwhelm us. It feels as if we will drown in it. It IS like a huge wave and we are carried along with seemingly no control.

This will pass. Our grief and longing never leaves us but we can climb out of that deep, dark pit of hopeless, helpless despair. It takes time and you need to have the strength.

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Its a measure of our love for our lost children but its so hard and so bloody unfair.

Try and sleep. Its a cliche but its true, things are easier to cope with if you rest and take care of yourself.

I hope you find your way through this difficult time. Dont be hard on yourself for feeling the way you do. It doesnt make you a bad friend.

Take care.

Hi Giraffe - you are not gate crashing at all.

Sometimes it all gets too overwhelming dosen't it? Just too hard.

Every time I see someone with twins my heart skips a beat, every time I hear someone shout 'Matt' my heart does the same.

The loss of a child is weird, overwhelming, odd, heartbreaking, un-real etc etc etc. It is not the 'natural' way things should be.

Be kind to yourself and I do agree with Che - try to sleep. Stay around on our special thread - we all walk the 'crappy' path together - all different experiences and bereavements but all here to help each other. You will find laughter and sadness here - you will also find loyal, caring friends.

xxxxxx

Good morning girls xx

Morning........... have had a busy morning what with housework and friends dropping in and making lunch.....................(and breathe!!) I listened to Good Morning Sunday this morning before I got up and Anaabel Karmel the food writer was on there talking about when her first baby Natasha died........... was very moving.....

Hiya. Thans very much chegirl and shabster x

Last night was pretty scary. I think it was some sort over over adrenaline panic attack type reaction that started on entering that department and when my body didnt have to fight/flight then the adrenaline stayed. Eventually fell asleep lastnight, this morning woke up the same, struggling to get enough air and chest pain and wanting to cry but not able to. I decided that since my body clearly has so much extra adrenaline I would burn it off - so put loud music on and have been cleaning for the last few hours. I still have some chest pain but now feel able to sit down with a cup of tea and allow my thought to just be inmy head rather than them overtaking me. So hard to explain.

Oh lottie I didn't know Annabel had lost a daughter, how sad

Hi Giraffe...

I cant say much more than chegirl did last night except echo all that she said..

are you feeling any better this morning??

Lottie is this the aled jones show and if so is there a reason he does a lot of slots on child loss

I got up with Ross at 7am.. washing and ironing is doene, I have played football, built towers, "resued " people from the sand pit and have just been asked to build a monster house

Days like today make me count my blessings as well as my loss

Hi Giraffe...

I cant say much more than chegirl did last night except echo all that she said..

are you feeling any better this morning??

Lottie is this the aled jones show and if so is there a reason he does a lot of slots on child loss

I got up with Ross at 7am.. washing and ironing is doene, I have played football, built towers, "resued " people from the sand pit and have just been asked to build a monster house

Days like today make me count my blessings as well as my loss

giraffe - it has been many years since I lost my sons but I still get days like the one you have described...days when it all washes over me and makes me panick. A real bite on the arse bum. A few years ago the panick attacks got so bad that I have been on beta blockers ever since. On rare occasions though I can still have that panick attack feeling but the tablets have really helped.

Be kind to yourself. The worst thing I ever did was be the prop for everybody else in my family - I used to long for someone to come and hold me like a baby and rock me to sleep.

Time does help...dont think we ever heal 100 per cent but time softens the edges a little.

Heya folks.

Sorry i've been awol - been incredibly busy what with Brogan's birthday and then her Christening yesterday too, and i just haven't had a minute. Her birthday was lots of fun, and her christening was lovely, and i think everyone had fun. Thanks for all the kind thoughts.

I know It'll soon be time for another thread, This time for Ciaran, and i want to thank T for passing the baton onto me - i promise to hold it with care and much love xxx

afternoon girls,hope your all wellxx

Ive had a difficult afternoon, with a nice ending! I took Wilf to the graveyard to see his Dads gravestone, he told me that he wanted to dig Daddy up so he could see him again.......... He then kept saying he missed his Dad and started crying..... He then took himself off to the park then came home, One a happier note i saw Mr Carpenter in the shop,...........i asked him to come back for a cup of tea but he was heading for his Mums.......... my very married friend who was with me had a hot flush when he had left and said she wished she could have asked him for a cup of tea!

Just popped in to say night night to Harry and thanks you to all my lovely friends for all the hands to hold . xxx

Awwww TW - this has been a lovely thread - you have done Harry proud. xxxxxxx

Good night girls - see you all in the morning xx

Good morning everyone xx

morning from a wet and miserable glasgow bank holiday monday

how is everyone

Morning girls. Its freeeeeeeeeeezing up here and raining - oh well I suppose it is a Bank Holiday!!

We are off to the sea side! Morning all xx

afternoon all raining here too,and tw you did harry proudx

Thank you everyone

See you all on Ciarans thread xxx