DH is dying

[WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo]

I don't even know what topic to put this in. My DH had a brain haemorrhage yesterday morning, the doctors have said it's not survivable. He's 60 years old and my best friend as well as my husband, we've been married for 23 years. I was sat at the bedside in ICU yesterday thinking that I wasn't going to post on mumsnet, even though like a lot of us I spend quite a bit of time here and feel like part of the community, but at 3 o'clock in the morning when you're all alone it seems like a good idea.
I got sent home from the hospital 'to try to get some sleep'.

Calc, one foot in front of the other - I am sorry to be trite, but it's true. Just keep going until a 'new normal' establishes itself.

We had a cat called Binky!

diskworld crochet

I was just imagining this on a woolly hug square, but don't think it would fit!

I don't want a new normal, I want my old life back. I was happy

Yes, I know .
I am so sorry. It is shit and unfair.

How was today Calc? Any plans with the DC maybe over the weekend?
Thinking of you x

thinking of you here as well

No plans as such. I have some Tesco vouchers I've been meaning to use at a chef and brewer pub. Might go tomorrow evening.
Been out for a drink with family in a pub tonight, didn't stay late, it was quite excitable in the pub.
What's everyone else up to?

started watching House of cards on Netflix. meh so far. despite Kevin Spacey
I did a bit of crocheting on my scarf and made 1st butterfly for somebody's blanket

night Calc and all, i can't keep my eyes open

I've not seen House of Cards. I did watch the first episode of Breaking Bad last week but not yet any more. Also really enjoying Dexter, I'm up to series 5, didn't watch it when it was on the TV.

I really hope I've not upset you further with my stupid remark upthread. V sorry.

I shall be thinking of you especially tomorrow

Pacific I can't speak for Calc, but you always seem to have the right worda, even when I think there are none I could say, and always give courage and encouragement.

Last night I was fetching DC home from a friend's house, then waiting up for DH to come home.

Today I've been mooching about feeling sore and not very well. Going out for family meal tonight as DH won't be here tomorrow night.

PD

you are so lovely. I'm sure Calc os not upset with you. please don't feel bad!

it's like when i lost baby I thought "well I'm not pg. maybe we could go skiiing"
then i broke down started sobbing that i don't want to go fucking skiing or do anything I just want my baby back. my hopes and dreams for her. i wanted her back and nothing and noone else could make it better

you just want it back, how it was and how it was supposed to be. and it's not gonna be. It's fucking heartbreaking.

(she'd be 6 in May. still a hole in my heart, always will be)

Aw, thank you both.

But I can see how mentioning 'new normal' is twisting the knife when the loss is as sudden and new and raw as Calc's, so I am sorry for that, Calc.

Do you have plans for tomorrow?

I'm not upset, sorry if you thought that, just frustrated with the unfairness of it all.
Got a lot but upset earlier when I met family for lunch and we were making funeral arrangements. Had a banging headache when I got home and have been hiding under the duvet since. DS and I have made a pasta dinner though. I do plan to hide under the duvet all day tomorrow too.

Ah, strikeout humour fail. A bit upset

oh it's so unfair. so unfair.

it should 80 years for all then stop.or something like that.
We'd know what to expect. how long. no fear. no worrying. would be way easier to deal with it

Thinking of you

duvet day sounds about right. i had one today (working on something secret )

how's your DD? is she better?

It IS shit and unfair.

Duvet sounds good.

just read back. Dexter?? so scary!

The walking dead is scary! Dexter is... chilling. DH and I were in Miami in November, we visited a couple of filming locations.

DD is better, the baby still has a poorly tummy though :(

ooh Miami!

did you meet Horatio Caine?

poor baby hope better soon