DH is dying

[WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo]

I don't even know what topic to put this in. My DH had a brain haemorrhage yesterday morning, the doctors have said it's not survivable. He's 60 years old and my best friend as well as my husband, we've been married for 23 years. I was sat at the bedside in ICU yesterday thinking that I wasn't going to post on mumsnet, even though like a lot of us I spend quite a bit of time here and feel like part of the community, but at 3 o'clock in the morning when you're all alone it seems like a good idea.
I got sent home from the hospital 'to try to get some sleep'.

Calc

there are 3 ways:

1. Please understand I'm not ready for this. I'm in survival mode and anything that is not absolute necessary I just can not right now

1. Ignore

1. Tell them to fuck off

so sorry you are being hassled and under pressure to do things.
it's beyond me how people don't get that you need your space and time to process things. that you live one day at a time. that you are morning the death of the love of your life.
it's very insensitive of them.
sending you big hugs and lots of strength

*mourning

I can't type today.

Oh, do tell them all to get lost!!

All you have to do is breathe and keep on going.

Calc, why have they got you running all over the place tomorrow. It's your birthday, they should be running around after you. So sorry you have to endure this, Zing is on the right track. Happy birthday for Friday (it's 4.30pm Friday arvo here in NZ so I'm guesing it's still Thursday there or maybe very early Friday morning) lots of hugs and strength, and a gin!

Happy birthday Calculators!

Happy birthday Calc.

Forget the military precision, it's nonsense unless you're in the military. Go back to bed, eat cake, have a duvet day.

Happy birthday. Try and relax and look after you today, not everyone else! Oh and eat chocolate. Lots of it.

Wishing you some moments of peace today

Thank you for sharing a lovely pic with us x

Calculators, I have been thinking of you and your DH this morning in the park. A local model airplane club obviously had some kind of an event going on and there were lots of people flying their planes. I wish he could have been one of those people.

Big hugs for today - I hope those around you will look after you today of all days.

for later

Happy Birthday Calc

big hugs

Happy birthday, thinking of you and your family

Hello. This morning wasn't as bad as I imagined, thankfully. I had a long nap this afternoon and have been out for a curry with family. I'm planning a trip round the shops tomorrow. Then not leaving the house at all on Saturday evening and all day Sunday.
Lots of people have sent me 'thinking of you' cards instead of 'happy birthday' ones which is quite thoughtful.
Thank you all.
DH and I would have been sat on the sofa together drinking wine and margaritas, like the old married couple we were :(

Birthday margarita

I am glad the day went ok. And you sound like you have a good plan for the weekend.

Those are proper professional Margaritas - would you want to have one in his memory?
I'd give you a virtual

Yes, I'm in a club in Bournemouth

Well, I drink to you and your DH and the love and life you shared x.

Hope you've had/are having a nice weekend Calc!

Have you got much planned this week?

Hello everyone. I am in the depths of despair. I feel so lonely. Not even had the funeral yet, there was such a long wait.

Hello Calculators

I haven't posted on your thread but have read it with much sadness for you and your DH. I can't offer any advice, but I am thinking of you during this horrible time.
Some unmumsnetty

Hi Calc, I haven't posted before but am so, so sorry for your loss.

Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do but out one foot in front of the other and keep going, particularly when your family is still growing up.

Having lost both my parents I can imagine how much losing a husband must hurt. Be kind to yourself

Calc I'm so sorry you are in despair, when is the funeral?

Have you anyone you can phone or meet up with today for a bit of support.

Thinking of you.

I'm sorry the grief is hitting hard this morning Calc.

Sometimes it can be no bad thing if there's some time before a funeral. Do you have ideas of what you'd like to include? Any particular readings, hymns or songs, or people you could ask to say a few words? It might give some focus to your thoughts if you feel all over the place?
And maybe you could talk through ideas with a friend if that might be helpful?

Or with us here, I'm sure people would be glad to help if they can?

((calc))

Just seen this. So very sorry my lovely xx

oh Calc I'm sorry you are having a "hard to breathe" day

I don't have anything clever to say, but sending you love and big bear hugs from all of us.
(hug) (hug) (hug)
(hug) (hug) (hug)
(hug) (hug) (grabbing you hair clinging on hug)
that last one is BabyZing's speciality