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Bereavement

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Original poster

DH is dying

764 replies

WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 14/02/2015 03:11

I don't even know what topic to put this in. My DH had a brain haemorrhage yesterday morning, the doctors have said it's not survivable. He's 60 years old and my best friend as well as my husband, we've been married for 23 years. I was sat at the bedside in ICU yesterday thinking that I wasn't going to post on mumsnet, even though like a lot of us I spend quite a bit of time here and feel like part of the community, but at 3 o'clock in the morning when you're all alone it seems like a good idea.
I got sent home from the hospital 'to try to get some sleep'.

OP posts:
WonderingWillow · 14/02/2015 04:04

I'm so sorry OP Sad what a horrible, horrible shock.

Don't lie there and torment yourself to sleep. Get up and have a shower and a cup of tea. Can you manage a slice of toast do you think?

Allice · 14/02/2015 04:04

Oh love, I'm so very sorry.
Hope you manage a little more rest.

WonderingWillow · 14/02/2015 04:05

I'm glad you have your cat with you Flowers they can be such a comfort.

marriedtoagoodun · 14/02/2015 04:09

I am just so sorry. Do you have any questions about things that someone might be able to help you with. Or do you just need some "quiet" time? I am just so sorry Sad

NoTeaForMe · 14/02/2015 04:12

Hopefully you've gone back to sleep, but if not I would get up. Shower, get changed and have a cup of tea. Maybe try some toast or something to eat. See how you feel but you can't force sleep. If you'd be more settled at the hospital then go back. Where are your children and your dad? Can someone come and be with you?

Original poster
WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 14/02/2015 04:12

My questions are like 'how am I going to live the rest of my life?' rather than small stuff

OP posts:
rustyrailings · 14/02/2015 04:13

My little cat is leaning on my arm purring too. She likes it if I'm awake during the night. Life's simple if you're a cat isn't it.

BitOutOfPractice · 14/02/2015 04:17

Bloody hell where. I'm so sorry to hear this. What an awful terrible horrible shock

Are your dc with you? I hope you can all find some comfort from each other and I wish you strength to face tomorrow

Cleanbean · 14/02/2015 04:18

So sorry to hear this. What a dreadful shock for you. Will keep you in my thoughts.

Original poster
WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 14/02/2015 04:21

DD went home 9 o'clock last night. She lives an hour away, will be back in the morning. DS is 18 and in sixth form so still at home. In his room, no sound from there.

OP posts:
Springcleanish · 14/02/2015 04:25

So sorry to hear this, thinking of you and you family.

WonderingWillow · 14/02/2015 04:30

Those questions are normal, but know that you will get through to another side of life. Life isn't a straight line, or even a curved path; it has many facets like a diamond.

Try not to bog yourself down with that right now although that's natural. Concentrate on the little things and take comfort from them; showering, dressing, feeding and nurturing your pets, going outside every day a little, eating small, regular meals, napping when you can.

Do you have any other family or friends you'd like to call on?

WonderingWillow · 14/02/2015 04:32

That's good your DD is quite close. Is she planning on perhaps staying for a little while?

Notagainmun · 14/02/2015 04:33

So very sorry. I can only imagine your pain. Hope you and your DC can draw solace and strength from each other. My thoughts and prayers for you all.

BastardGoDarkly · 14/02/2015 04:35

Oh where how utterly shit, I'm so sorry.

I hope you've managed to drop off, you're going to need all your strength.

We will be here for you to rant at if you need to.

Flowers
Original poster
WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 14/02/2015 04:45

No friends. I'm a regular on the 'billy no mates' threads. I'm friendly with people I work with. Never been able to make close friends.

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 14/02/2015 04:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 14/02/2015 04:47

Was very close to my mum, she died in similar circumstances 5 years ago.

OP posts:
Wonkyparsnip · 14/02/2015 04:48

I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you.

Original poster
WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 14/02/2015 04:51

Please don't read any of my 'oh my god DH is so annoying' threads. I take them all back

OP posts:
JaneByName · 14/02/2015 04:51

Calculators I am so sorry to hear this, life is so utterly kick-in-the-teeth unfair sometimes. I hope you have got some more sleep. My thoughts are with you for the decisions which lie ahead.
((((Huge hugs))))

HicDraconis · 14/02/2015 04:53

Our cat is not purring. She's being kept in for a day as next door have poured some concrete for something and don't want paw prints in it. She's currently hiding from ddog2 who thinks she wants to play, really.

((Hugs)) the rest of your life will happen, one day at a time. Breathe, eat, sleep. Don't worry about rest of life for now, just get through the next few days.

JaneByName · 14/02/2015 04:53

Forget about those threads, our dh's all drive us mad sometimes, it's part and parcel of living with and loving someone.

lunar1 · 14/02/2015 04:54

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

loiner45 · 14/02/2015 04:55

I can't imagine how scary this must be for you - so sudden with no time to adjust. Will be thinking of you x

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