Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

my beloved hubby died 2 weeks ago today - suicide :(

721 replies

Blondeshavemorefun · 30/04/2011 14:03

tbh i dont know what to say - i never expected to post a thread in this section of mn :(

I didnt expect to be a widow at 37 :(

he was severely depressed, and although had some very good days, he also had very bad days and for whatever reason he felt he couldnt carry on and took his own life on Saturday 16th april :(

i know its early days, but i cry every day, silly things set me off, like yesterday changing the duvet cover - it was hubbys's job to do that and i had to do it for the first time

its got to get easier hasnt it? :(

OP posts:
Original poster
Blondeshavemorefun · 11/06/2011 09:03

it does feel like a lifetime :( , yet 8 weeks is nothing x

OP posts:
RatherBeOnThePiste · 11/06/2011 09:30

Sending a hug, not that it can really help but you know what I mean... sorry.. xx

Original poster
Blondeshavemorefun · 11/06/2011 15:50

pisty you and others on here and fb are helping - its all therpy (hugs) xx

OP posts:
bellavita · 11/06/2011 17:52

Spa sounds lovely Blondes.

Good news that you have received the money from Santander.

Sending a hug from here too Smile

RatherBeOnThePiste · 11/06/2011 22:25

I am so very glad that it all helps you B, if you listen to the media there is nothing good about MN (nest of vipers) and FB is the spawn of the devil. But it's simply not true. MN is an amazing supportive community in so many areas, all the blanket stiff is quite mind blowing really. And I think people are very quick to help others. fb is fab too.

And I'm really glad a long distance hug can help, because I've got plenty to give!

Original poster
Blondeshavemorefun · 11/06/2011 22:28

bella, spa was fab and woofa sends his smelly love to you

pisty you are only round the m25 and im seeing you in about 180hrs for a real hug :)

OP posts:
bellavita · 11/06/2011 22:35

Tell woofa his smelly love is greatly received Grin

GettinTrimmer · 13/06/2011 09:15

How are you doing today blondes? I'm a great believer in spas, massage and pampering, I'd fit in as many as possible

I agree with pisty, the media don't focus on the positivity of mn Smile we are here to listen

Bella, I've met you before on mn, I was on shiny's thread for a while. I remember you are fab at making cakes

Original poster
Blondeshavemorefun · 14/06/2011 15:46

im ok ish - still cry every day :( - but it silly things that set me off

a song/ a smell/ a memory etc

INQUEST TOMORROW!!!

at long bloody last - dreading it but hopefully will finally be closure for him and me x

OP posts:
RatherBeOnThePiste · 14/06/2011 16:29

Big hug for my lovely (((B))) memories are powerful things.

I can't believe you have had to wait so long for this, but the inquest will very soon be here now, which means that it will very soon be behind you. As you say closure for Mark, and for you. I'll be thinking of you in the morning. Xx

GettinTrimmer · 14/06/2011 21:01

Blondes, I will be thinking of you tomorrow xx we are here for you

Original poster
Blondeshavemorefun · 14/06/2011 22:29

thanks guys - and go and read my fb status - more weird psychic stuff

OP posts:
bellavita · 14/06/2011 22:32

Will be thinking about you tomorrow too x

bellavita · 14/06/2011 22:35

Blondes, I will pm you my name - if you would like to add me to fb. I won't be offended if you don't.

Original poster
Blondeshavemorefun · 14/06/2011 22:56

have added, though as i said in my reply, i actually thought you were someone else lol

OP posts:
bellavita · 14/06/2011 23:03

Grin. I did think it a tad funny when you said that woof a sent me big smelly love Grin I take it this was for the other Bella!

Original poster
Blondeshavemorefun · 14/06/2011 23:08

indeed - she lurves woofa for some weird reason and she always has bella in her name - how weird lol

OP posts:
RatherBeOnThePiste · 15/06/2011 08:15

Thinking of you this morning lovely B..
sending love xx

Original poster
Blondeshavemorefun · 15/06/2011 08:36

already in tears - gonna be a hard day :(

but needs to happen and esp with all the psychic stuff that went on last night, my brother was amazed at what was said - is trying to see if it was recorded and get a copy for me - but apparently mark is at peace - he had bloody better tell me that on july 8th

OP posts:
GettinTrimmer · 15/06/2011 10:50

Blondes I am thinking of you

TheOriginalFAB · 15/06/2011 12:23

Thinking of you today Blondes. {hugs}

PanicMode · 15/06/2011 14:54

Thinking of you today Blondes.
xxxxx

Original poster
Blondeshavemorefun · 15/06/2011 16:46

thank you

was over and done with in 10mins, when she read out the details i cried - it was horrible hearing, even though i obviously knew it all as i found him

the detective when reading out her report called him the wrong name :( Angry Shock Hmm and i said that isnt his name

called him matthew not mark - she did say sorry to me afterwards and i told her to make sure her facts were right for the next person

OP posts:
TheOriginalFAB · 15/06/2011 17:28

You did right to pull her up for that. I am sorry you had to have incompetence as well as everything else.

RatherBeOnThePiste · 15/06/2011 17:58

I am so glad for you the inquest is now behind you, I know you were dreading it, and I know you must have had to be strong and brave today. It must have been very emotionally draining - you must be exhausted lovely B....So a hug for you (((B))) and a big G&T, and I really wish you have sleeeeeeep tonight

Twatty detective, lets hope she agonises over that..
xx