my beloved hubby died 2 weeks ago today - suicide :(

[Blondeshavemorefun]

tbh i dont know what to say - i never expected to post a thread in this section of mn :(

I didnt expect to be a widow at 37 :(

he was severely depressed, and although had some very good days, he also had very bad days and for whatever reason he felt he couldnt carry on and took his own life on Saturday 16th april :(

i know its early days, but i cry every day, silly things set me off, like yesterday changing the duvet cover - it was hubbys's job to do that and i had to do it for the first time

its got to get easier hasnt it? :(

[NoWayNoHow]

Blondes so glad it's over, and really glad you called the detective out on her mistake. I hope she was suitable upset for being callous (whether intentionally or unintentionally).

I'm going to see if I can find you on FB - would that be okay?

[GettinTrimmer]

Blondes, just to add I'm also glad it's behind you. I hope you managed to get some sleep last night x

[Blondeshavemorefun]

course you can noway

pic at moment is hubster and i in a swim pool :)

[bellavita]

How insensitive that she got Mark's name wrong . Glad it is over for you. How is daddy Blondes getting on with the compo money?

[wizzler]

Glad you got through the inquest Blondes...I can't imagine how tough it has all been for you.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

daddy blondes is still battling with virgin - 1st of all they wouldnt even speak to him as said they had data protection act blah blah blah and my dad said when someone dies there is no data protection act (he knows his stuff)

but i have signed a letter giving him total rights etc and he faxed it to them

he is off to see thomas cook today to talk about getting refunds for things like extra luggage/meals on flight/seats together/transfer fees/fuel - all of which never got used and probably didnt even get paid out so if he gets that money back i will settle for that

santandar are still dithering but raised to £100 and again i will prob settle for that

off to crem today to find a resting place for dh to scatter some of his ashes there and order plaque in his memory

and i think i am finally sleeping better, not awake all night, though was weirdly awake at 1.11 3.33 and 5.55

[TheOriginalFAB]

I don't know what to say but will send hugs and chocolate cake.

[GettinTrimmer]

I'm glad you are sleeping better Blondes. How are you doing today?

Thinking of you

[Blondeshavemorefun]

im getting there - found a lovely place in crem with a pond with ducks swimming on it infront and behind there is a bench

just need to work out the words i want on his plaque now

we all miss mark so much :(

had a cry and cuddle with pete last night - listening to the songs i chose for dh funeral

but again today is a new day and meeting smokin and piste for lunch so all is good in blonde world :)

[GettinTrimmer]

Say hello to them for me Blondes I can imagine the gin will be flowing!

[GettinTrimmer]

Take care xx sounds a beautiful place

[RatherBeOnThePiste]

Difficult job to think of the words you want to use I'm sure. You must be limited yet you want it to be Just right. Hopefully there's no rush on it? I'm sure it will come to you...
Xxx

[Blondeshavemorefun]

it is hard as words do need to be perfect

heard our 1st dance song and set me off big time :(

our 1st dance - words can mean so different under different circumstances

we were in heaven as together :)

and now hopefully Mark is in heaven but Im alone :(

i think im coping and then things hit me out of the blue and i reliese that Im not :(

I miss him so much that at times I feel my heart is breaking :(

[PistyNoMates]

It is a beautiful song and will be full of happy precious memories for you from your wedding, and the reasons why you chose this particular special song for that occasion. These memories you will always hold close to your heart.......

The big BUT is that it caught you unawares, and I'm not surprised you felt completely floored by it. It must have taken your breath away..
A real shock, and I can't begin to imagine how you felt. I am so sorry this happened

Love and a big hug for you
Pisty
xxxxx

[GettinTrimmer]

oh blondes (((hugs)))) xx

If I knew what to say I couldn't have put it any better than Pisty.

Wednesday is a work day for you isnt' it?

[Blondeshavemorefun]

indeed it is trimmer :)

babs is asleep, though guess now she is 3 i cant call her babs

[TheOriginalFAB]

Mine is 10 and still my baby .

I think of you often but just don't have the words. Life is tough at times.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

thanks fab - yes life is tough and shit but i can either let it get me down or i can try and get on with life - though have wobbles every day x

[TheOriginalFAB]

Of course you do. You have been through one of the worst things any one can.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

death is death - am i suffering more than say rinders who lost her dh to cancer

finding him wasnt great, for obvious reasons and i never got a chnace to say goodbye properly and will always wonder why :( but the same outcome is there - we are widows and alone

[TheOriginalFAB]

You can't quantify suffering but yes, you are both widows but you are only alone in that no one else knows how you feel but you are not alone in that we on MN at here for you whenever and for how ever long you want.

[PistyNoMates]

Every untimely death is a tragedy...

FAB is right B, we are here for you x

[thumbwitch]

Oh buggering hell, Blondes - I can't for the life of me imagine how I missed this! So :( for you for what you're going through and all the bollocks that goes with it.

Can I ask - have you transferred ownership of your vehicles over through the DVLA yet? ONly asking, because we only recently did Mum's car over to Dad but because we didn't do it via the proper department, they sent a letter to Mum telling her that this had been done and if she wasn't happy she could let them know. I phoned them in Righteous Indignation (I was staying at Dad's at the time and found the letter) and was told that they have a separate department that deals specifically with these sad situations, so the log book should have been sent there, not to the usual address, and then this letter wouldn't have gone out. Just thought I'd let you know in case it was something still To Do on your list.

And (((hugs))) to you too.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

Thanks thumb how did you find this thread?

And now I get my thrills of other peoples sex lives and balls of poo lol

Yes dh van is being sorted by brother blonde and ownership has been transferred over to me and just waiting for a buyer now

Had to tart van up - love dh deeply but gawd he was a pikey and a total slob

I cleared the table beside the sofa where he sat at the weekend and called it 'man shit corner' as so much crap there

[thumbwitch]

It just cropped up in Active Convos and I clicked on - was really that it was you, you poor love.
Am so glad your family and friends are being so supportive and helpful to you - what a plus.
Ha re the "man shit corner" - if anything happened to me, DH would have to deal with "wife shit corner" too, probably more than one!

The ball of poo thread is very funny but not sure it's exactly good for a vicarious sexlife!