my beloved hubby died 2 weeks ago today - suicide :(

[Blondeshavemorefun]

tbh i dont know what to say - i never expected to post a thread in this section of mn :(

I didnt expect to be a widow at 37 :(

he was severely depressed, and although had some very good days, he also had very bad days and for whatever reason he felt he couldnt carry on and took his own life on Saturday 16th april :(

i know its early days, but i cry every day, silly things set me off, like yesterday changing the duvet cover - it was hubbys's job to do that and i had to do it for the first time

its got to get easier hasnt it? :(

PM me the organisation and I will look for you.

Then definitely bawl them out - big time. They need to know how bloody insensitive that is!! As for 'immediate' -

Chipping - I've PMd you about your computer. Hope it's gone through!

Fab - letter is at home but think it's from
Dhss/job centre

Okay, let me know when you have it. I will google a bit in the mean time.

not home till friday

Am sending my lovely Blondes a hug x

lovely piste - thank you

had a really good day today :)

met PP who tortured made me attempt to crochet and then went back to my friends house and chilled, then lasagne and wine lemonade

went to a little town near my friends and we played pool and drank wine -we did meet some men who were watching us me not playing pool very well and then went to another pub - where they also arrived at

had a nice conversation with one and as we left in the taxi,he kissed me on the cheek and said i was hot ...........

omg - did i just get flirted with ......

tbh not sure i can cope with that yet :(

'runs and hides under duvet'

Good for you Blondes! I imagine it feels very, very weird to you, but it's also a good thing. You don't need to act on it if you don't want to.

Sorry have been awol over the long weekend - have been camping with the kiddies and we've only just scrubbed them clean the dirty little monkeys :o.

I love crocheted stuff Blondes, but I am not gifted with anything crafty at all.

You definitely got flirted with by blokes in pub!...Don't blame them! Agree with Flubba it must be weird for you though.

Really glad you had a good time yesterday and hope today has been as lovely. Yes, B, you were flirted with, but it all sounds perfectly harmless. I can imagine, as the others say it must feel rather weird, and maybe its feeling more so in retrospect?

How's your sleeping at the mo? Are you managing to sleep any longer, or are you still getting through on 3 or 4 hours?

it was very weird,scary,im not ready but also flattering in a strange way iyswim

How lovely :0) Nice to know you've still got it :0)

It probably it feels very 'wrong' at the moment but you know what, it's OK if it doesn't feel wrong as well - however, it's a very good thing that you realise you aren't ready for anything yet - it would be far too much of a mind-fuck :(

I'm glad you are having a nice time down there - have you had chips at the beach yet?? I can't wait to go to the beach!

it wasnt the mind i was thinking of fucking chippin

'runs and hides under duvet again'

but seriously it was so weird and i am so not ready for any relationship/kiss/shag or anything like that

Enjoy the moment for what it was and don't worry about not being ready. It will be the right time when it is the right time whether that is tomorrow or in 8 years time.

Hope you get good sleep tonight. X

8 years fab better be before then!!!!

pisty thanks,still doing 3/4hrs but have had my horlicks via kim so will try and tuck myself in to bed soon xx

wicked woman!!

That's what I thought when I read 8 years Blondes, but wasn't sure if I should be thinking , so kept schtumm, but yes, I agree wholeheartedly!! :)

The 8 was a random number I picked. I wasn't saying it should or would be that long!

lol, thats ok then - 8years is long - although the other night freaked me out, as if i had wanted more, i could have got it (does that sound big headed) but no way im ready for a quick snog/grope or whatever

'hides under duvet again'

but hope i find love again within 8years- tbh i know dh would want me to be happy,as do my boys, though P has informed me that if new man , whenever that will be, if hes a twat or twunt that they will ban me from seeing him

but if he is nice then they will approve :)

< Pulls B out from under the duvet....again! >

Hope you had loads of wine, nice nosh and good times tonight, and that you enjoy better sleeeeep
x

cute pic piste - had a nice time last night but then a song came on that reminded me of mark, as he loved it and set tears off on the dance floor, and then back at my friends had a cry and down the phone to pete

but that was last night and wine doesnt help :(

today, is a good day and off to the beach as 23* :)

Aw B, ((Hug))

Songs and music are so full of associated memories aren't they, both happy memories and ones that can take the wind right out of your sails. You hear something (maybe something you haven't even thought about it for ages) and it takes you right back. Emotional stuff for sure. Another ((Hug)) You are right - alcohol doesn't always make us feel stronger at such times!

Glad P was on hand, he' a goodun, so is your friend you are with...
Have fun on the beach today, and try not to get too much sand up your wotsit

all my friends are fab :) they are what gets me through each day :)

Dad emailed, he has heard from santander and they have upped their offer for compensation to £50 - so double their original offer of £25

he has refused and is holding firm!!

watch this space :)