DH's names driving me to tears

[BFPDec21]

I'm probably hormonal but has anyone ever had an argument with their partner over baby names? I've had a little cry because I can't see us ever agreeing.

DH keeps suggesting names like Ozymandias and Balthazar. Mine are more traditional like James, Isaac, etc. I'm open to more unique names but he won't stop with these bloody out there names.

For context, we live in the UK and there's no interesting heritage to warrant names he's choosing. I asked him for a 'normal' name and those were his normal names.

@BFPDec21if it makes you feel better we used full 6 weeks both times and literally chose between 2-3 names in register office. Both vetoed lots of each other’s list, in the end I suggested a few names - some “normal” some a bit more unusual and told DH that was my shortlist and he had to choose one.

I have to admit I wanted to call DS Xavier (Zav-e-air, the proper way, not Ex-ay-vier like in the X men which pisses me right off!) but he ended up as Jack which was the most popular name for several years at that point but suited him better!

@XDownwiththissortofthingX

Nothing wrong with Ozymandias. At least it's an actual name, which is more than can be said for most of the nonsense people are lumbering children with these days. Thank god for deed poll.

Agree with this!

It took us so long to agree with DD, it ends up upsetting and frustrating me doing this again with him. He didn't see me cry so perhaps he's not understanding of my exasperation. However, we never agreed on DD's middle name so 5 minutes before the appointment we were disagreeing and the appointment took us to just before the deadline to register her too.

Yes, Pyongyang, I completely agree. I've tried to explain all of that but he can't see how his names might cause bullying or employment issues. He has a really traditional name himself so his name list make no sense at all to me.

Cross posted @Mummywantsaweewee

Definitely understand having the full 6 weeks and not agreeing!

Then may I suggest...."oh for fucks sake! I am not saddling our child with some stupid name just because you are a frustrated poet, now can we be sensible please?" and then refuse to discuss it every time he brings up something stupid.

roll your eyes and walk away every time, he cant have a row on his own!

Get him a teddy bear. Tell him it needs a name and he can suggest elaborate names for it as much as he likes, but you'd only consider more useable names for a baby.

Tell him to choose his top 2 names. If he changes his name to one of them, then you’ll consider using the other for your baby.

First, he's being a dick and should knock it off.

Second, that app sounds amazing.

Now for some unusual-ish names that aren't ridiculous:

Aneurin
Augustine
Cassian
Emilian
Gadiel
Inigo
Naphtali or Naftali
Jago
Phineas
Thaddeus
Theophilus (Theo is a great name)

Balthazar Getty.

How about
Abraham
Ezekiel
Jedidiah
Jeremiah
Malachi
Zachariah

@PeskyRooks

I love the name Balthazar! Is it not one of the three wise men?

It means 'God Protect the King'.

I wouldn't go for Ozymandias though; googled and found this:

"Although the name Ozymandias (which means "a tyrant, a dictator, a megalomaniac; someone or something of immense size, a colossus") has Greek roots and dates back to roughly 323 BC, Percy Bysshe Shelley brought the word to prominence in 1818 after publishing a sonnet by the same name."

@Harlequin1088 🤣🤣🤣🤣

That's made my ' insomnia-ridden' night!!

I love Shelleys poem. We did it at school.

I met a traveller from an antique land,
Who said—“Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. . . . Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;
And on the pedestal, these words appear:
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.”

Gosh. I love Ozymandias and Balthazar.

I like Ezekiel too (NN Zeke).

What about an app that you connect to both phones and swipe for the names you like until you find a match. That was you don't need to get frustrated with him?

Outside of baby names he sounds like a bit of a bully/uncaring of people’s feelings. You’re pregnant with his child and he’s making no effort to compromise whatsoever.

I would be telling him he named your daughter so you’ll be choosing your son’s name. He’s already bullied his way into first choice for the first child, it’s your turn.

All very well for people to say they’d love to call their child Ozymandias but how many people would actually use it as a first name? It’s your child, not an example of how super duper clever you are because you’ve read a poem. There’s plenty of poets called William and John if you desperately need to advertise your love of poetry.

@XDownwiththissortofthingX

Nothing wrong with Ozymandias. At least it's an actual name, which is more than can be said for most of the nonsense people are lumbering children with these days. Thank god for deed poll.

There is a lot wrong with Ozymandius 😂

The thing about your husband's name choices is that for literally the rest of your child's life, people will hear his name, roll their eyes, and assume his parents are a bit of a tit. It won't affect his life in any positive way. There's a chance he might love his weird pretentious name, but there's at least a 50% chance he will resent you for it. Probably more than 50% to be honest. Your husband is being selfish, pretentious, and a bit of a tit. Just like his name choices suggest.

@PeskyRooks

I love the name Balthazar! Is it not one of the three wise men?

That's right. Tradition has it they're called Caspar, Melchior and Balthazar. Apparently derived from the central European Catholic custom of chalk writing C+M+B on doorframes on Epiphany day (it actually stands for Christus mansionem benedicat, or Christ bless this house).

You tel him the only name you will consider is Balonz (ty mn) and meet every one of his with it. Then say well how about x y or z. Hope he will be so grateful that he accepts x y orz. Then again he might love Balonz.
Anyway, he chose dds name, you chose this one.

Bartholomew or benedict?

I like unusual names too but even I balk at your husband's suggestions! How about
August
Orion
Maksim
Caspian
Indigo
Zephyr
Rayan

Get one of those baby name apps you can both swipe the names you like and see what matches without having the painful discussions.

I’m into quite out-there unique names. Me and my DP have been working on a list for years. We periodically go through it (and laugh) and veto anything we’ve both changed our minds on and add new ones as they crop up.

These are our boys names from the list;

Akiva
Apollo
Attic is
Auden
Aurelian
Elan / Ilan (yes, after Meslier, LUFC goalie)
Ezekiel
Florian
Gabriel
Larkin
Levin
Mateusz (Klich, LUFC midfielder )
Mordecai (it stays on the list but I don’t think we’d ever use it)
Otto
Pascal
Xavier