DH's names driving me to tears

[BFPDec21]

I'm probably hormonal but has anyone ever had an argument with their partner over baby names? I've had a little cry because I can't see us ever agreeing.

DH keeps suggesting names like Ozymandias and Balthazar. Mine are more traditional like James, Isaac, etc. I'm open to more unique names but he won't stop with these bloody out there names.

For context, we live in the UK and there's no interesting heritage to warrant names he's choosing. I asked him for a 'normal' name and those were his normal names.

[ZealAndArdour]

*atticus

[HumousWhereTheHeartIs]

My ex behaved like this. He was firm on the fact our DD was going to be called Bernie and would not be moved. It's not a family name and has significance, and I still have no idea why that name was the one he fixated on. He wouldn't consider any of my suggestions. DD1 is not called Bernie and we are now divorced.

[Thewheelsfalloffthebus]

So he’s picking names with mythological or historical connections to kings and leaders.
So, more normal but still with that kind of history,
Julius
Mark
Anthony
August (Roman Emperors)
Alexander (as in the great!)
Hector
Achilles (maybe not to your taste? I don’t like the sound - ‘kill’ in the middle)
Arthur
Percy (greek hero Persius)


Or strong animal names
Ari (lion)
Leo/Leon
Orson
Theodore/Theo/Teddy
Arthur (again)
Wilbur

[Polyanthus2]

Is his name unusual? If not it's a bit off to give an unusual one to DC.

[MargaritasOnMe]

I think you should put your foot down. He chose your daughter's name. Now it's your turn. If he wanted to have a say, he should have compromised before. Don't you compromise now! And honestly "strong" is subjective. I think names like James and Isaac ARE strong names. Balthazar sounds quite frilly in comparison, and is the average person going to know the meaning? As for Ozymandias - please god no. As a secondary English teacher, just no. The poem is actually about how he isn't strong at all despite his arrogant assertions. Anyway, opinions on his name choices are irrelevant. It's YOUR TURN to name the baby! Don't compromise and certainly not on a name you hate.

[THisbackwithavengeance]

Good God. Women are "sobbing" over this? What are you doing to do when your child is a teenager and you get actual parenting problems?

My XH was a prize cunt but even we were able to laugh together about our completely opposing name lists. We eventually chose something that neither of us particularly loved but we didn't hate it either......

[MiddleParking]

I wouldn’t bother speaking to him about it if he’s upsetting you. You choose the baby’s name. I don’t hold with the idea of the father having equal (or even more) say in the baby’s name to the mother, especially when the father is being an attention seeking dickhead. I love PP’s suggestion of Inigo though.

[DancingBarefootOnIce]

He’s not acting nice regardless of what names he likes.

Names don’t make people. This idea that you call someone a fancy name and it will make them special is silly.

I have liked some different names but recently I was at a baby/mother group and there was someone there who had an out there name for their child and it made me glad I had a normal (yet uncommon) name. I just felt a cringe hearing the name used and it wasn’t even for my child.

[GrandRapids]

I think he sounds like a total arse actually. Why does he get to do all the naming?

When I had our son, we made a list of names together and each vetoed the ones we really didn't like, not just doing it to be petty as your husband seems to be doing. and I got the final pick of the ones left.

We go through the hideousness of Labour and birth ffs so I feel that's only right. Luckily my husband is decent and agreed!

[secondaryquandries]

babyname-app.com/
Here is the tinder style app.

[SamVimesFavouriteDragon]

@THisbackwithavengeance

Good God. Women are "sobbing" over this? What are you doing to do when your child is a teenager and you get actual parenting problems?

My XH was a prize cunt but even we were able to laugh together about our completely opposing name lists. We eventually chose something that neither of us particularly loved but we didn't hate it either......

Clearly stated that they were upset because of their partners' obstinate nastiness, not because they don't agree on the first name suggested. No need to stick your boot in!

[MrsMop1964]

@ZealAndArdour

I’m into quite out-there unique names. Me and my DP have been working on a list for years. We periodically go through it (and laugh) and veto anything we’ve both changed our minds on and add new ones as they crop up.

These are our boys names from the list;

Akiva
Apollo
Attic is
Auden
Aurelian
Elan / Ilan (yes, after Meslier, LUFC goalie)
Ezekiel
Florian
Gabriel
Larkin
Levin
Mateusz (Klich, LUFC midfielder )
Mordecai (it stays on the list but I don’t think we’d ever use it)
Otto
Pascal
Xavier

Mordecai is a cartoon character- are you fans of the Regular Show by any chance? Mordecai and Rigby are the two main characters.

[Shehasadiamondinthesky]

Can you not compromise on Ozzy.

[Loopytiles]

Why did he choose your DD’s name? Did you like it?

[Robin843]

Cornelius
Benedict
Solomon
Johannes
Grainger
Willoughby
Lucas
Marius
Devante
Otis
Maximilian
Halston

[Fluffycloudland77]

@BFPDec21

More of his suggestions are Zephyrus, Vercingetorix, Theseus, Obadiah, Tiberius, Taliesin.

He's back in the room and says he wants DS to have a nice strong name to build his character and nothing like some of the unique names similar to Kaiden, Jaylen, etc. I've not suggested those kind of names so not sure where that's coming from!

I think we will have to draw names at this rate. I also recall a website for the names which did it for you but can't remember the name.

Has he been listening to Johnny Cash “Boy named Sue”?.

[balalake]

Names like the ones your DH is suggesting are unkind to a child. Opening him up to name calling or worse as he grows up.

[GeneLovesJezebel]

I’m afraid I had to put my foot down with our son. He wanted a very bland name. He’d already chosen a middle name for our DD that I wasn’t fond of, but I was so knackered and anaemic I didn’t have the fight in me.
A name lasts a lifetime, don’t give in.

[BalloonSlayer]

I always think Ozymandias is a great name for a toddler, you know - when you have slipped out for a desperate wee, and find on your return they have trashed the downstairs; and you look upon their works and despair.

[Nyman1962]

Fantastic literary reference there BalloonSlayer!

[Teenylittlefella]

Someone on here had a ds called Torin the other day. I like it; out there, but not out there. Maybe worth a punt?

[toastofthetown]

What I’ll say about the Kinder app, is when I’ve had a go with it, i remember the names being very conventional. Either popular classics or more modern names, which doesn’t seem to be the vibe your DH is going for. You can add names to the list though, so I’d suggest adding a several names which aren’t popular, but you are happy with, as otherwise you might end up with no matches.

[Aroundtheworldin80moves]

With DD1 I was set on the name Boudicca... (she's not called that!)

Arthur
Alexander
George
Julius
Ivan

Similar sort of theme to his but more "normal"

[Brefugee]

In all honesty though, you get to decide.

no she doesn't. No parent gets to overrule the other in this situation - it's a "2 yesses" scenario

[spacehardware]

I love some of his name choices tbh but he's being a twat about it

I don't agree kids will get bullied just because of an unusual name - if kids want to take the piss out of each other they will, your son won't be exempt from playground teasing because he's called James.