DH's names driving me to tears

[BFPDec21]

I'm probably hormonal but has anyone ever had an argument with their partner over baby names? I've had a little cry because I can't see us ever agreeing.

DH keeps suggesting names like Ozymandias and Balthazar. Mine are more traditional like James, Isaac, etc. I'm open to more unique names but he won't stop with these bloody out there names.

For context, we live in the UK and there's no interesting heritage to warrant names he's choosing. I asked him for a 'normal' name and those were his normal names.

Why doesn’t he change his own name to his mothers maiden name , if it matters so much to him ?

So now he's bargaining with you.

He gives you first name rights if he gets mother's maiden name as third name.

Tell him to go to fuck. This is a power struggle for him and he is playing site loser.

Wow your H is so unreasonable over this!

All kinds of messed up that he pushed you to ditch YOUR maiden name and now wants to use his mother’s for DC!

Mine was really keen on a name that is one letter different to his own name. Both 5 letters, different first letter. The egotist.

Plenty of men out there give their sons the exact same name as themselves. I've never yet found a convincing reason why this would be, other than egotism.

Just tell him you’ll be registering the baby on your own since he can’t respect that you should be a major decision maker here, that you’ve spoken to friends and they agree he’s being a dick and they’ll take you to register baby, and you don’t want to talk about it anymore. Then don’t talk about it. Let him realise he doesn’t get the deciding vote here. You don’t have to work to get him to agree with you here, I don’t see him making that effort nor carrying the baby.

@spacehardware

What does "telling on themselves" mean?

I didn't say the OP or anyone else had suggested Jayden - simply commenting that as names go I dislike that end of the spectrum far more than 'pretentious' ones like Xanthe or Balthasar which are at least names, not a made up mishmash

A name becomes a name because someone, somewhere, made up a mishmash of letters and used it to address their child…

People have been calling their kids Jayden and such like in large numbers for more than a quarter of a century.

At what point are people going to accept that it’s a name?

There are loads of names people like or dislike. Often with a hefty dose of unacknowledged racism, xenophobia, or class prejudice thrown in for good measure.

There is no spectrum with Jayden at one end and Euripides at the other, except where people have built one out of their own prejudices.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

Mine was really keen on a name that is one letter different to his own name. Both 5 letters, different first letter. The egotist.

Plenty of men out there give their sons the exact same name as themselves. I've never yet found a convincing reason why this would be, other than egotism.

I think it is definitely egotism.

It’s weirder when you pick one a single letter off your own though. Like being called Paul and calling your child Saul.

And weirdly these people never seem to want to honour their favourite fandoms with names like Steven, Samuel, Dean, William, John etc. Always the big name that will be obvious, in your face, and embarrassing....

Reminds me of my friend from USA. She said she wishes she named her kids after cool videogame characters, but family insisted on traditional. Her sons are Connor and Arthur. I told her to go play some more games

Honestly Op, the way you've described your DH in your original post, he sounds like a bullying dick.

Trying to find some vague middle ground for you.

Fabian
Lawrence
Gregor
Isiah
Finnian
Oakley
Henrik
Atticus
Aaron
Darius
Artemis
Seamus

He's said removing my maiden name was a joke at my annoyance the baby would have 3 surnames thrown in (two as middle names). I'll be registering alone if need be and that's it now.

@Titsflyingsouth I had some of those as suggestions to kind of meet him in the middle but I've given up as they were shut down. He needs to get used to the name I have in mind.

He's honestly not usually like this. He's indecisive by nature but there are lots of big life decisions he's been happy for me to not ask him about. I suspect it may be him panicking about getting a good name and getting it right as this is likely to be our last one. Our first was after a horrible pregnancy so it may have even been that fear then too.

I agree a name doesn't make you, where I work is a testament to that. We have so many capable people with different names. However, I think people can naturally see certain names and have preconceptions when shortlisting prospective employees. I try very hard not to have preconceptions in life but I know not everyone does and I wouldn't want my child being bullied or not chosen for a job because of their name.

It's also true that in one area a Balthazar may be a child that would ostracised in another area there's probably quite a few of them running around. There aren't universal 'normal' or traditional names, it's just relative to where you are at that time in life.

Did you match on any more names on Kinder OP?

James Tiberius? (That is the name of Captain James T. Kirk from Star Trek - a pretty strong character).

Alexander (as in The Great) is another Bronze Age super-powerful leader, but the name is also a normal modern one. If he must, he could refer to the child as Xander or Isk (from the traditional Iskander spelling) as a nickname.

@BestZebbie

James Tiberius? (That is the name of Captain James T. Kirk from Star Trek - a pretty strong character).

Alexander (as in The Great) is another Bronze Age super-powerful leader, but the name is also a normal modern one. If he must, he could refer to the child as Xander or Isk (from the traditional Iskander spelling) as a nickname.

Those names are too boring according to my DH.

@flashpaper No we haven't. I won't swipe any that I don't like just to please DH. Apparently the ones he's swiped of mine are just 'ok' but he doesn't approve of them. It doesn't matter really as I'm no longer seeking an approval.

Doing family tree found some interesting names.

Zephirin
Nazaire
Magloire (apparently this is pronounced something like Maguirre)

French Canadian ancestry

I did have a Swiss great great grandfather middle name Balthazar, sensibly first name John.

We went with Leo for our son. I still love the name.

Digby, William, Remigius, Rupert, Leon, Patrick, Quentin, David, Hugh, Olympus, Colin, Derrick, Desmond, Redmond, Neil,.
Why not try family names. You husband might like a usual name if it is his grandfather's name or such.

Maybe you could allow him to choose the surname.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll really enjoyed your reply

My son is called Loki 🤣😅

My kid is called Loki @Harlequin1088 😅😬

Did you settle on one, OP?