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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in thinking this is tmi for a two-year-old?

181 replies

Annya · 07/10/2009 09:36

My friend is a month away from giving birth to her second baby. She told me the other day she had told her elder daughter - two and a half - that when the new baby was born, mummy was going to push it out from her tummy between her legs, a bit like a big poo! And when she asked the little girl where it was going to come out, the dd grabbed her own crotch (not in a vulgar way, just demonstrating she knew where). Does this seem a bit ott in terms of information? Or maybe I am being a bit prudish. I know its none of my business but I am just intrigued to see what people think?

OP posts:
BornToFolk · 07/10/2009 09:39

I think it's fair enough. I'd be a bit reluctant to describe it like a big poo, in case it made the child worried about using the toilet in case a baby came out but saying that mummy is going to push the baby out of her tummy from between her legs is accurate enough and easily understood by a two year old.

hullygully · 07/10/2009 09:40

What happened to the stork? Or some lovely fairy dust?

giveloveachance · 07/10/2009 09:41

My sis did not have to tell her older kids 2 and 3, they told her that the baby would come out from her belly button!!!!

UndertheBoredwalk · 07/10/2009 09:43

By 3yrs my DD would tell anybody who stood still long enough to listen that "mummies have eggs and daddies have seeds, and daddy gives mummy a seed and they grow together in mummy's tummy to make a baby which comes out of mummy's 'wee wee' "
At two she certainly knew where they came out
I think it's exactly the right amount of info. My DD just would not stop asking questions!
Better they have an age appropriate truth than some stupid lie about storks or cabbage patches or whatever.

WartoScreamo · 07/10/2009 09:43

Um, well it's the truth!

deafworm · 07/10/2009 09:44

seems fine to me, i have planned 2 home births (never quite managed it) so was deliberately quite honest with my 2 and 4 yr olds rather than have them appear at a crucial point and panic.

nellynaemates · 07/10/2009 09:44

Good for her, what's the point in telling them fairy stories and then having to correct them later. Agree "big poo" might not be the best phrase to use, but in principle I absolutely agree with her.

MyCatsAScarierBastardThanYours · 07/10/2009 09:45

My DD knows that DS and her were in my tummy and that we went to the hospital (or hostipal as she calls it) to have them out, but as yet she has not asked how. If she asked (she was 3 when DS was born, coming up to 4 now) I would probably tell her the truth, although would not describe as a big poo! I think I would have done so at 2 1/2 as well.

I just like to be truthful about everything (as much as poss - of course Father Christmas exists though) although obviously would not go into great detail or show her anything.

misdee · 07/10/2009 09:46

YABU

sweetkitty · 07/10/2009 09:48

I had a HB with DD3 when DD1 was 4 and DD2 2 1/2, in case they were awake I told them that Mummy has to push the baby out a special place in her girlie bits (their words) and that it hurts a bit so I might make some noise. I also allowed them to watch a bit of a birth on TV telling them yes it hurts but look how happy the Mummy is seeing her new baby etc.

Agree better than the stork etc

They were fine with this, now though DD1 has been asking how the baby gets in their in the first place.

meep · 07/10/2009 09:49

It sounds like a pretty reasonable and non-scary (though agree with BTF about the poo description) explanation to me. Little children can accept things like this very easily.

When I was pregnant my 3yo nephew came up to me and asked whether my baby would come out of my tummy or between my legs (and patted both areas!)! THis was because his sister had been born by c-section so he knew that babies could come out both ways. He was just genuinely curious and not in the least bit frightened by it.

So - YABU and a teeny bit prudish

NorktasticNinja · 07/10/2009 09:49

YABU I wouldn't use 'like a big poo' as a description myself but what would you rather she told her daughter?

How old do you think children should be before they know about these things OP?

WreckOfTheHesperus · 07/10/2009 09:52

I think that this is fine (though ditto pps' sentiments on "big poo" thing)....but has anyone found a nice way of telling DCs about how they were born by C-section? Can't really tell DD that she was "ripped untimely from her mother's womb"

deepdarkwood · 07/10/2009 09:52

Sounds fine to me - roughly what I told ds when his sister was born (he was just over 2 at the time) without the poos pushing bit.

He thought I was completely insane, & just laughed like a drain, but I still told him

deepdarkwood · 07/10/2009 09:54

WreakoftheHesparus - ds's childminder had a c-section when he was 2.5 - we just said they made a hole in mummy's tummy to make that baby easier to come out - with some babies that's a better way.

Pyrocanthus · 07/10/2009 10:04

Apart from the big poo bit, I think she's spot on.

ReneRusso · 07/10/2009 10:04

I think its fine. I believe in giving children the correct information early on and adding details as they get older.

GoldenSnitch · 07/10/2009 10:19

So glad DS (2.7) hasn't asked and doesn't seem interested!

Would have to tell him DD will come out of a special hole made by the doctor though as I'm having a section.

Hando · 07/10/2009 10:30

Myabe the dd got it wrong and the mother has said that the baby will come out from between her legs and she may also do a big poo?

flowerybeanbag · 07/10/2009 10:33

DS has shown no interest in how our new baby is going to come out. He talks to the baby, gives the baby cuddles, is excited about helping prepare baby's room and the prospect of sharing a pushchair with the baby, but doesn't seem to have given any thought to how the baby will get out of mummy's tummy.

I'm having a c-section so I think special hole made by the doctor will do the trick as and when he wants to know.

LaDiDaDi · 07/10/2009 10:34

I think it's fine. Dd knows that she came out of my tummy (section scar) and that her baby brother will probably come out of there too. If I was planning a vbac then I'd have explained where the baby would have come out of then.

Niecie · 07/10/2009 10:36

I am not sure I would have told the child if she hadn't asked but as an explanation I think your friend got it right. She didn't get graphic, just gave a rough approximation of what happens. A sentence or two is enough.

megapixels · 07/10/2009 10:36

I think it's fine as it's the truth. I really dislike stupid stories about where babies come from. Having said that I wouldn't (and didn't) give that amount of information at that age. It would have been totally unnecessary for my child, who hadn't even thought to ask about the exit route .

AitchTwoToTangOh · 07/10/2009 10:37

don't forget that there's every chance the child has seen a 'birth' on daytime telly soaps if she's two.

AitchTwoToTangOh · 07/10/2009 10:38

don't forget that there's every chance the child has seen a 'birth' on daytime telly soaps if she's two.