it's not a tiny minority is it

[noddyington]

I do not know any women who have not had something bad or intimidating happen to them in their lifetime. Whether that be cat calling, followed, talked down to, pushed out of spaces, pushed over for promotion, assaulted, stalked, raped or murdered.

I do not know any women who have not changed their behaviour to try and keep themselves safe. It might be walking with keys between their fingers, getting a taxi when they'd rather walk, covering their drink when they are at a bar, not responding when a guy intimidates/heckles at them because it's safer, run or jog in groups, don't wear headphones walking late a night.........

AIBU to say that it's not a tiny minority of men is it?

@noddyington have you thought about having this thread moved over to the Feminism board? You might get more input rather than just having the AIBU vote.

It doesn’t matter how small the majority of bad faith actors there are they spoil it for women and they spoil it for other men. I’m way past middle age now but it depresses me that in 2026 we are still having weeks like this and last week hearing about women having been abused and silenced.

I do think the Russell Brand conviction and David Walliams allegations may have men of a certain age sat looking back and considering their behaviours. Not to derail but I noticed on my (old) LinkedIn that 4 men I have known over the past 45 years but not spoken to in over 30 years have sought me out and looked at my profile in the past 3 days.

All of them know they behaved appallingly bad towards me back in the 1980s. I have now closed my account as my stomach dropped when I saw they had searched and viewed me all over the weekend. Call me a cynic but I do not think I suddenly sprung back into their memories all of a sudden.

Back to your thread now @noddyington but I will add I think porn has been a massive reason as well.

WTAF. You've jumped the shark with this comment, or is it irony? I can't tell anymore.

I thought that until the Gisele Pelicot case (and further cases in the UK)

The stats speak for themselves about how many men were willing from a pretty small area and those who didn't go ahead didn't report it.

Yes, it is a minority which is why if I tell another man that a man has abused me, in any way, he does not sit there and nod and say that I'm a woman so I deserve it, or I'm less than, or who cares you silly woman....every man I know would take action against an abusive man. So, yes, it's a minority.

Wonderful to see cancelling of misogynistic views and those posters who make them being cancelled on this thread.

It was the adjective tiny that was relevant

it’s a minority but not by any stretch a TINY minority

roughly 20% rape but more catcall, heckle, turn a blind eye etc.

I think what society needs to do is severely punish the 20% (if it is) of men who behave violently and illegally. Crimes driven by misogynistic beliefs should incur long jail sentences. If men won't change, the least communities can do is protect women and children from the worst of them.

I also think we have a massive overpopulation of men. Historically many died in warfare, we just don’t have that.

MESSAGE READ THIS SO THE THREAD DOESN'T GET DERAILED

I wouldn't respond to Coulditbesam

They are on 2 threads now making silly, diminishing posts around sexual assault.

I think there are a few factors at play:
Testosterone - levels vary and I don't think we pay enough attention to how it affects boys, learning, body image, sexual deviancy rates
Drug use - steroid linked to the above - men who want to get ripped and drug themselves up to the eyeballs and then have all of the side effects eg increasing jealousy and violent tendencies
Mental heath issues - Men are less likely to be diagnosed with personality disorders such as bipolar than women, seemingly because they don't report mood swings. Maybe because these are more "masculine traits" and so not seen as wild as when women have them. Either way I suspect many in prison get diagnosed for the first time with a lot of disorders their family and friends thought were their personality.

All of this adds up to low attainment in education which makes them easy targets and prime audience for the manosphere and misogynistic rubbish that tells them they deserve everything with minimal effort because they are MEN.

I do think some men - typically the more inadequate ones - do hate women, maybe because they’ve been rejected/women have refused to have sex with them and they imagined that they should have been entitled to it.

And the way men can really turn on women who are more intelligent is unbelievable until you see it. It basically boils down to wanting to keep women in their place. Having said that, there are lots of men who are very active in supporting women

I respectfully disagree.

Men are a problem in society not just assaulting women and men but also the whole corporate glass ceiling, wars and politics.
Having that kind of power and money perpetuates the problem.

Men could not be so controlling in some ways if women earned the same or, shock horror, earned more than men or held more positions of power.

Of course some men hate women. There is literally no doubt about that.

It's the turning a blind eye, that shouldn't be ignored either, because by now we should all know that men listen to other men more than they listen to women.

Even the decent ones I follow on SM know this and make videos shaming awful wankers of the manosphere - because they know that if women influencers were to make the same video, they will be hounded in the comments by said wankers.

The fact that many more men who saw the "offer" but didn't take it BUT didn't report it to the Police either leads me to believe most men are culpable by turning a blind eye.

Now there's a case being tried exactly the same here in the UK. How many men knew this was going on and kept schtum. Boyfriends, husbands, fathers. Nice "ordinary" men.

If YOUR DH saw this advertised are you so sure he would report it let alone take up the invitation?

I'm 68 and never been more sure that it's the majority of men.

I think it’s the majority I’m afraid. So many men truly despise women and, to be frank, want to hurt them.

I think the testosterone urges override sense

I've lost count of the men I've met who wouldn't take no for an answer; men who would clearly want to be viewed as professional, well-educated, middle-class, intelligent, upstanding, moral and decent. And these were not men in their teens or twenties, either.

I think it gives false belief they won't be caught or will outsmart or somehow "win".

There's always one.

OK, I'll bite. Hands up those of us who have raped or gang raped by women.

I agree @noddyington . At 73 I’m jaded and very disillusioned with the depressing reality that a majority of men think it’s funny and normal to deride, abuse and use women in whatever way they feel like.
I’ve never had a decent male figure in my life besides my DS (who is who he is because of my determination to raise a good man)
My father was cold, financially and emotionally abusive to my mother and cold towards his children.
My husband and his brother have turned out to be addicted to alcohol and sex.
It’s sad and depressing.

The most ridiculous comment I have read today! And I've read plenty of ridiculous comments today...