it's not a tiny minority is it

[noddyington]

I do not know any women who have not had something bad or intimidating happen to them in their lifetime. Whether that be cat calling, followed, talked down to, pushed out of spaces, pushed over for promotion, assaulted, stalked, raped or murdered.

I do not know any women who have not changed their behaviour to try and keep themselves safe. It might be walking with keys between their fingers, getting a taxi when they'd rather walk, covering their drink when they are at a bar, not responding when a guy intimidates/heckles at them because it's safer, run or jog in groups, don't wear headphones walking late a night.........

AIBU to say that it's not a tiny minority of men is it?

'Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.'

Margaret Atwood.

No beef with the stats, just pointing out a false claim.

I think that sums it up. Sadly.

12. Women’s ability to recognize male behavior patterns is misandry.

I love that.

My DH is No 2. Well meaning, but under-estimates how bad it is for women. He empathises, and tries to 'get it,' but quite simply - he can't.

There's a really good couple of episodes of Misfits, the Channel 4 sci-fi, comedy-drama show that was on about 14-16 years ago, where one of the young men - Curtis - has a power - being able to swap from being a man to a woman and then back again. He swaps to being a woman so he can compete in a race (he has been banned as a man for drug use.)

Cue a bunch of things that women have to put up with from men - leering, groping, having his/her arse slapped, gross comments, and men trying it on all the time. He was outraged and FURIOUS that men kept doing this, just because he was an attractive young woman. 'You will NEVER know what shit women have to put up with' he told his (male) friends when he went back to being a man... 'It's fucking disgusting. Being grabbed and having my arse slapped, my boobs poked, and men pushing me about, and assuming I must be interested in them, as if they're the hottest man on earth, and getting angry and pissy when I told them to fuck off!'

Literally, men will never know - EVER - unless they become a woman.

I HATE it when men comment on this shit. If you have a penis, you do NOT get to tell women how they feel and how they should be reacting to the shit that men put them through, throughout their life. From physically and emotionally abusive fathers, uncles, brothers, and husbands, to everyday sexism, and men letching and leering and groping, and sexually assaulting and raping women.

Fuck this shit. Fuck it to hell. It's appalling what women have to contend with during their lives.

And yes sadly, most men do have misogyny in them, even the 'good ones...'

Sadly, I fear that you are right.

Certainly a sizeable minority, if not a slight majority, of men treat women as a threat to them, and are inappropriate.

Given that some of these woman will be victims too I can not say that about all woman who enable men

Yes you are correct @HRTQueen

I should have clarified that.

I mean the ones who quite wilfully will defend the indefensible.

For all you posters writing "most men"! I find this incredibly sad!! Do/did you not have fathers, brothers, sons or nephews that were good men?
If not, you really do have my sympathy.

It is though. If men are such a threat to us then why aren't we in chains? We wouldn't stand a chance fighting back. If it ever gets to the stage when the majority of men are a threat - then we're doomed. It's as simple as that.

Deleted. Responded to wrong post!

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yes absolutely agree

“I do not know any women who have not had something bad or intimidating happen to them in their lifetime. Whether that be cat calling, followed, talked down to, pushed out of spaces, pushed over for promotion, assaulted, stalked, raped or murdered.”

A few thoughts here.

One, I’m not sure that being “talked down to, pushed out of spaces, pushed over for promotion” really belongs in the same category as harassment and assault, unless it’s specifically because someone is a woman. Lots of people don’t get promoted, for lots of reasons. I’ve been “talked down to” by a supervisor, but that was because she just didn’t like me personally.

Two – I actually never have been harassed or assaulted by a man before. My only experience of sexual harassment came from the girls in my class when I was ten years old. I don’t know why this is my experience, but it is. In the past, I’ve had people online insist that I must be omitting or downplaying something, but I’m not. My best guess is that it’s because I was single-sex educated from ages 12-22, I rarely take public transportation, I don’t go out to bars or nightclubs, I don’t really socialize with men who aren’t friends of my husband’s, I’m a SAHM, and I live where it’s too damn cold for anyone to want to expose themselves.

Eh?

That's a fascinating study! Although rather depressing - incompetent men are nastier to competent women, competent men are more positive to less competent women but get critical when the women compete at the same level of skill.

Fucking men. Not all, but so, so many.
Like that U.S. college survey that found a third of male students would rape a young woman if there was zero chance of being caught. Just grim.

They all watch porn though, don't they? They are all complicit in the abuse of women whether they admit it to themselves or not.
We can't be called naive any more about the amount of men who do watch porn after so many studies that cannot find male participants who haven't. It has become the norm to watch women be abused for fun and sexual gratification.

Why are you treating another woman with such disdain? Do you honestly think a woman with an opposing opinion to yours should sit down and shut up?

There are some truly alarming attitudes on MN. It never ceases to amaze me.

That is the price of testosterone as well - the more they compete with men the dirtier the tactics get in the "must win at all costs" stakes.
Trump wants to give his soldiers more of the stuff. Clearly not understanding his army would likely turn on each other before even starting on the enemy.

Give me strength! Do you think women don't watch porn?

but there are more women than men in this country.

If memory serves about 80-90% of men report watching (self reporting) compared to roughly 40% of women, who watch it at at a far lower frequency than men.

This is not what the thread is about @alcovecupboards I am aware you are a serial derailer and am reluctantly engaging with you because this is about male on female violence often sexual violence which many women have suffered.

This is not the thread for flippant comments. I posted earlier up thread about something that really impacted today. Really impacted me. And it involved men many years ago. Perhaps think before posting on this particular thread.

I think this is a factor.

You see it in how really little boys play with sticks etc. It's an innate difference and I don't think they are adequately taught how to control and manage their behaviour.

I agree that it’s too simplistic. If rape “isn’t about sex,” why do men do it with their penises? Why did Harvey Weinstein rape only young actresses, not elderly actors? Is it a big coincidence that Kevin Spacey is a gay man and his accusers are all male?

People commit rape for a lot of reasons, but being sexually aroused by forcing someone into sex is definitely one of them.

No, not all do.