it's not a tiny minority is it

[noddyington]

I do not know any women who have not had something bad or intimidating happen to them in their lifetime. Whether that be cat calling, followed, talked down to, pushed out of spaces, pushed over for promotion, assaulted, stalked, raped or murdered.

I do not know any women who have not changed their behaviour to try and keep themselves safe. It might be walking with keys between their fingers, getting a taxi when they'd rather walk, covering their drink when they are at a bar, not responding when a guy intimidates/heckles at them because it's safer, run or jog in groups, don't wear headphones walking late a night.........

AIBU to say that it's not a tiny minority of men is it?

My Mum told me that many men despise women, as i ve got older, i've come to realise she was correct.

No i don't believe its a "Tiny Minority" maybe not a majority but its a sizeable number of men.

Doesn't sound like sympathy... sounds like rule 12 being implemented

I’ve had sex with about a dozen men. Only one of them raped me. I think it can still be a small minority but affect a lot of women. I remember my rapist laughing and saying, “yeah, a lot of women react like that when I do that” (anal rape during consensual sex).
My estimate is that about a third of men are assholes and about a tenth are animals.

I don’t think the majority of men do hate women nor do I think the majority are predators or believe women are ‘less’.

I was thinking about this recently as I had a meeting with a man from a voluntary centre I work at. We were due to meet at our hub building at night time. I have no reason to have any fears about this man (he’s lovely) but I’m conscious that I left the meeting room door wedged open because subconsciously I wanted to ensure I had an exit if I needed one. Years ago I was assaulted and so those self protective measures are just things that I now build into my life. The man was 100% respectful as I knew he would be but old habits die hard.

So no I don’t accept that men as a large proportion of humans are inherently out to attack or demean women. I know a few who are but I also have some overwhelmingly wonderful men in my life too.

There hasn't ever been a golden age!

Violent crime stats have reduced steadily in recent years, unless one includes VAWG, which has risen. Its unclear how much if this may be related to changes in legislation and perhaps increases in reporting.

It is possible that as we tackle the issues with more reporting, more awareness, more convictions that the data will show a rise even as incidents fall, I suppose.

Homicide of women is one metric that is stark and clear. I'll see if I can find some stats.

So if it's not hate, what would you call it then?
Genuine question.
It sounds like a complete dismissal of a women's autonomy, choice, thoughts, feelings. To see her as an object in fact. A thing.
The man you describe takes what he wants.
But that's a human being he is taking from, so it is at the very least, genuine dehumanisation.
So, not hate as such but the ability to put her humanity to the side for the sake of his desires. And to do that with no remorse?
That's closer to evil.

How does that change things?
Violence is a problem. It creates more violence.

But statistically some of those men who didn’t assault you will have assaulted their wife that morning and others will have assaulted women. Additionally others will have cat called and many will have man spread into the seat next door

Or we could all talk about it to highlight the extent of the problem so that good men understand what we have to deal with simply because we are born female.

if anything the reverse of what you say is true, most women haven’t even reported their multiple assaults from men because society won’t believe them.

we need to speak up the problem is widespread and real.

But it’s still a man issue
good grief it’s not hard to understand

and at least males stand more chance fighting another male

Thank you for your sensible reply. Definitely concur. But also realise not all women are man haters, the ones in my life aren't. Just like I( as a man )don't ' hate' women even though many on MN share the views of hopeless blokes ...and to be honest I despair of those men too . C'mon guys it's 2026 , there really is no excuse for the crap sexism a lot of women have to endure still.

Wow, this thread is amazing. Questions about why men hate women and then statements that men should be medicated and women are superior. Utter batshit.

In the Second World War Germany had many thousands of people who didn’t want to fight, who didn’t believe in the war

until the day they lost family to the bombs

or in the words of Springsteen “end up like a dog that’s been beat to much”

I do think some people are being too extreme but I understand the human processes which lead them there

I think I once saw the idea that there should be a day where women all report the unreported sexual assaults and rapes they have sadly endured. Not with any actual expectation these will be dealt with but so that we have some better data about how widespread this is and so people can stop with the 99% of men wouldn’t hurt a fly bullshit as that is plainly not true.

But yes many/most men don’t see women as people. They don’t care what you think, what you feel, what you want - they might not even be able to comprehend you have the same capacity for an inner life that they do. They don’t value the work you do, especially if it’s ’women’s work’ and any success can be put down to fluke or shagging someone high up. Stats show how good women are at so many things we traditionally aren’t expected to be good at but the prevailing idea is that we aren’t because it makes men feel bad.

Yes, don't disagree with you there especially as I personally have been on the receiving end of that violence, egged on I may say by that agressors' girlfriend. But my point is that statistically it is more likely a male will be the victim not a female so the perception that the streets are not safe for women is true but they are actually less safe for men .

Yes that is true - male on male violence is bad

although no man ever was faced with the choice of an unwanted pregnancy of a rapists child and the abortion of a child growing in their body

It's not eugenics to want to reduce the amount of violent attacks carried out on women. I am agreeing with a poster who suggested giving convicted rapists (and perpetrators of other violent crimes) some medication to reduce their testosterone. The medication already exists of course, it's given to men who have certain cancers. Nothing to do with eugenics.

Obviously, yes, we ( men) could never experience that . We are different to women but don't hate us for that please. We ( generally) don't live as long as women but why should I hate women for that . That would be crazy !

To the people saying yes men commit most violence but that violence is mostly directed at other men, that's part of the issue. It's not quite right to say that men are the issue because the real issue is patriarchy. It hurts both men and women.

...but you originally didn't discriminate as to who would receive that " medication"

I don’t hate men in general but I can understand why some do

i can understand why some women take a better safe than sorry attitude

I think men need to accept and respect that

I guess I am asking them to help break the cycles of hate by stepping back, not taking things personally and showing respect for the female position

You sound very stressed, are you ok?

Your post never mentioned convicted rapists, just men.

No, I didn't mean that - though I can see how it can read like that, now I've re-read it. However, it's got 15 likes, so maybe there are some people who would like all men medicated!

Well it was genuine sympathy if all these women have never had any decent men in their lives.
Do you not think that is sad?