Cat care for DSis holiday

[CatTrouble]

DM and DSis are going away together at the start of November. DSis has 3 cats who were going to be cared for by a neighbour but the neighbour can no longer look after them.

DSis has asked other neighbours, friends and now me, as they’ve all said they can’t. I have also had to say I can’t due to other commitments which they’re aware of and with my sisters house being over half an hours drive from my house, I can’t fit it in with everything else. The cats would need 2 visits due to needing medication. I said she’d have to book them into a cattery but it turns out 1 cat isn’t up to date with vaccinations (can’t have them due to previous reaction) so the cattery won’t take them.

My DSis found out that my oldest DD is coming home from uni for that week as she has a reading week. DSis sent me a text saying ‘oh thank god, <insert my DD name> will be able to look after them, I was starting to think I’d have to cancel my holiday’. I felt annoyed at the presumption that my DD would do it but rather than say anything, I asked my DD if she’d want to do it. She was also annoyed at being taken for granted but has said she can’t do it anyway as she has reading and work to complete, has made other plans with friends for some of the time she’s here and has managed to get a few shifts at her old part time job. I said that’s all understandable so I have let DSis know that my DD can’t have the cats.

DSis and DM are annoyed and I’ve been told I’ve raised a selfish DD. I’ve said she’s not selfish, she’s busy and the cats aren’t her responsibility. They’re now asking if my other children can do it which they can’t due to being at school, college, working, not driving and one having an allergy to cats. DM has called me almost in tears that their holiday will have to be cancelled. I suggested a cat sitter and got grumpily asked whether I think they’re stupid and of course they’ve tried that but they can’t find one with availability. They genuinely seem to think we are being unreasonable by not helping. Are we?

Not your problem to sort out - plenty of cat sitters around - ask at local vets, often someone in their staff will do pet feeding.

Our local Facebook page is full of people who cat sit or do cat feeding, I'm sure she doesn't particularly want to pay for it for three cats , but unless she is very rural I'm surprised she can't find someone who does it as a business.
It's a big commitment twice a day , with that distance between you , so don't blame you for not doing it

I say this as an owner of two cats, you and your daughters are not being selfish.
One of mine needs meds twice a day and we are lucky so far in that my parents and friends live 5 mins away and would alternate coming over to feed and give meds. I would never ask anyone to travel that far or upend their lives to stay at mine.

I bet they haven’t even tried pet sitters, due to the cost. They were banking on the neighbour or a family member doing it as a favour.

YANBU, it’s a lot to ask

She'll have to do what I and many others do! Either a cattery (where she will need to ensure they've already had the correct vaccinations plenty of time beforehand) or a cat sitter. I use a professional cat sitter who visits twice a day, it costs, but my cat, my responsibility.

Cattery and cat sitter have both apparently been looked into and aren’t an option as I said in my OP.

Apologies for missing the cattery part but my cat sitter visits twice a day and administers medication to hundreds of cats a year so why not an option?

My mum doesn't book her holiday until she's confirmed cat sitter !
So your DD is not being unreasonable. Your Dsis is.
She cannot have looked extensively into cat sitters. There's trusted house sitters for example, there's local families with teenagers, there's also the possibility of daisy chaining kitty care. That's what I did last holiday with my two cats with my DS looking after them for a couple of days and then my cleaner one day and finally the neighbour's young teen for a couple. I wrote up a schedule and instructions for everyone so it was clear who was doing what. This sounds like it may be possible if a few different folks could do a day or two each?

There will be a cat sitter available, they need to put a request out for someone on their local Facebook group. Loads of people do this with DBS checks in place etc.

Where abouts are they in the country?

Has she tried house sitters website? I understand you pay to join

My friend joined recently to look after other people's pets....then she gets free accom

My mum said they’ve called lots of sitters and apparently none have the availability.

Its not your problem.

But.......

Do you like your DM and DSis ? Wouldn't you like them to be able to enjoy their holiday if possible ?

Couldn't you and DD split it between you ?

The world would be a sad place if no-one ever did anyone a favour. Maybe you might want them to help you someday.

https://www.trustedhousesitters.com/lp/join-now/compare/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=GoogleAds_Direct_Search_Competitors_UK_Acquisitions&utm_content=Competitor_HouseSitter.com&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21857401356&gclid=CjwKCAjwotzWBhBFEiwA1JhPoEX9MwKssiRI8zYxk2P0OTb_EJ855fQ3CtaF2zdreQL5DJYd1hLs7RoCemkQAvD_BwE

Is the link.

She may not be aware of this particular website

Understood- imagine because of the short notice, obviously as she'd assumed family would step in..Not fair on those she's asking.

And this is based on the fact she had arranged someone to feed them and shes been let down, thats not DSis being disorganised.

There will definitely be be other teenagers, pet sitters who can do it, especially if it tends to be a uni reading week. You should put a message on their local Facebook page and see what response you get. There are literally loads here and November isn’t key holiday period, I can’t believe they wouldn’t get someone.

When I suggested a sitter and said it isn’t a main holiday so I’m sure there will be availability, my mum accused me of thinking they were stupid and said they had contacted loads but they didn’t have availability. I’m not going to make any more suggestions as I don’t want to be spoken to like that again.

I appreciate this sentiment. I would agree if they were around the corner.

But it is over 30 mins drive each way. 2 times a day. Say she stays 15 mins to feed and administer medication - that is 2 and a half hours.

Who has a spare 2.5 hours per day to offer favours to people! It isn't just about being willing, it is not always possible to offer that level of help.

And to get pissed someone isn't giving 2.5 hours of their time is really rude.

I like them and want them to enjoy their holiday.

My DD and I don’t have time unfortunately as I’ve explained.

Can Uni DD drive? Does DSis or DM have a car they are not taking on holiday and insure Uni DD? Could Uni DD base herself at DSis’s for the studying week but have a car so she doesn’t miss out on stuff with friends?

Not saying Uni DD should - but just thinking whether there is a solution that works for everyone

She does drive and has a car but she has a busy week planned. She also wants to spend the week at home with us! By the time she’s home, she won’t have seen us for 6 weeks. We have all missed each other and want to spend some time together.

Could the cats come to you?

Otherwise I would try to split it between me, daughter and anyone else available. I quite like my mum, I'd put myself out a little for her.

Understandably you don't have time to do all of it, but I'm sure you could manage one trip a day if you were motivated enough

I don’t think the cats would be impressed with that, but as I mentioned, one of my children has an allergy to cats. We also have 2 dogs who see cats as something to chase so it wouldn’t be good for anyone.

I ‘quite like’ my mum and my sister but I have too much on my plate.

If your sister paid your DD the going rate for a cat sitter (plus travel time), would she be willing to do it? At least she might have to take fewer shifts at her job so that would free up some time.